Fifty Shades Of Ever After
by HiddenInMySoul
Summary: 15 years have passed and Ana and Christian are both Thriving in the business world with still a young family...are there any more surprises to arise from past encounters...will they survive much longer...how will the Grey Children respond to problems and happy times?...
1. Chapter 1: Catch Up Moment

**Authors Note: This is my view on the story of **_**the **_**Christian Grey and his family from his wife to his extended family. I do not own these characters and would never want to change them or their story…well in this one anyway. I have total respect for EL James and for her sharing this with us. I am new to and would appreciate all feedback and your honest opinions. I have always wanted to be a writer and I think that this is a good place to start. It will be told from many points of view and I hope that you can make sense of it all. **

**Much Love, **

**Xxx A **

**Christians POV:**

Well it's been 15 years since I married the most beautiful woman in the world…well she is to me anyway, my life has been turned upside down and around and around since she first fell into my office on that _fateful_ day. Yes I just said fateful and I am sure that is what it was. Anyway I am still one of the top 10 businessmen in Seattle; I am now a father of 3, Theodore Raymond, Phoebe Grace and Katarina Ella. It has been full of trials and happy times. Teddie is now in 10th Grade and Poppy is in 9th grade (which means that yes she was smart enough to skip a year and that to me is a disappointment but the school said it was a good idea) and they are both at Seattle Preparatory School, while Katarina is enrolled to start at Bellevue Children's Academy when she turns 5 which much to my disappointment will be in a year and a half. All of our children have attended BCA.

Now to my beautiful wife…she is now Editor and CEO of Grey Publishing and has taken it in her stride even with giving birth to all our incredible children and still finding time to help out my mother with some charity events and articles. She takes Katarina to work with her and I can't help but be a little jealous that she is spending more time with our youngest then I am but then again they do surprise me on the odd occasion at work and I get to be there for her after I've finished giving Anastasia a much needed break. With our growing blood family our honourable family has grown as well, Jason and Gail have been now married for 12 years and Sophie is now in college studying to be a music teacher. Gail also had a baby boy who is amazing and so much like Jason it's scary and he is 7 years old. We have hired more security to be able to protect everybody and to my surprise Ana has shown me that it's okay to treat them like human beings rather than employees after knowing them so long.

Kate and Elliot got married a year after we did and they have 3 children, Avalon Haven who is the same age as Phoebe, and twins Lukkan Carrick and Pascal Jane who ironically enough are the same age as Rina. They now live in Escala and have made it into an incredible family loft and the children love the views. Elliot's business if booming and Kate is editor of The Seattle Times much to her family's joy, which now brings us to Mia and Ethan…they are engaged and still have yet to set a date to get married and are in no hurry to start a family. Mia has started her own business with a start up from me after talking to Kate and Ana (more them begging me) which allows her to design and plan events whether it be small or large and she has done an amazing job so far, Grace and Carrick are still going strong and still working full time and love being grandparents.

Now where was I…..oh yes I have zoned out in one of my many business meetings thinking about how much my life has changed and I would not wish anything to be different, of course I wish some of the trials hadn't happened because then we wouldn't be where we are today but I still hope that we can have a happy life together as a family and also in the business….I was brought back to the present by a question from one of my staff.

"Mr Grey….Mr Grey…what are your thoughts on the docks in Thailand?" Ros said as she was waving her hand in front of my face. I cleared my throat and looked at the full board room. "I think that we are definitely on the right track, but I will have to call them and you and I Ros will probably have to visit and make sure that everything is still in working order…." I replied as I stood up from my chair. "I don't mean to be rude and cut this meeting short but I promised that I would have lunch with my children today…" I added as I smiled. "Ros….talk to Andrea and check when both our schedules are free and then arrange the company jet to take off to Thailand as soon as possible…" I said on my way out of the boardroom heading back to my office to grab my keys.

I reached the underground parking garage and see Taylor leaning against the wall no doubt waiting for me as he knows how much I'm still all about being on time. "To Seattle Prep Taylor…I have a lunch date that I cannot miss…" I say before climbing in the back. It seems that time has gone so quickly and I feel like only yesterday Teddie was running around the house with Ana and Sophie chasing after him and Phoebe was quiet and cuddle always sleeping against me on the couch. Soon they will both be heading to College and they will no longer need their parents so Ana and I plan on spending as much time as possible with them.

Taylor pulls up outside the school 5 minutes before 12:30pm and both Theodore and Phoebe are waiting outside talking and laughing. I open the door and call them over and they come running. It's good to know that they are embarrassed to be seen with me. The climb in still talking and dump their bags on the floor of the SUV and both look at me. "Well hello….I see we have remembered our manners…" I said laughing as I hugged my daughter first and then my son. Phoebe is the splitting image of Ana….the same blue eyes and brunette hair with waves, petite and fair skinned and my Theodore was definitely a younger version of me…except a much better version…he wasn't fighting in school and he's doing everything he can to look out for his sisters. His grey eyes are slightly darker though and his hair more copper toned as well although according to my family, he would definitely not change much in his features.

"Daddy are we having lunch with Mommy and Rina today?" Phoebe asked as Taylor pulled out of the parking lot at school. "Unfortunately not today baby girl….Mom has had to have a business meeting with a new author but she promises to be home in time for dinner…with the entire family." I say as I put my arm around her shoulders seeing the disappointment spread across her face. "But I have made special lunch reservations at your favourite restaurant for lunch today.." I add hoping this will perk them both up as I know that they both have the same favourite place to eat which at times makes my job easier. "Café Campagne? But I thought that we weren't allowed to go there during the day?" Teddy said as the car pulled up outside the restaurant. "Not normally no…but I thought today I would make an exception…I know that I have been busy with work lately and you haven't seen that much of me so I thought that I would treat you to a surprise…" They both grin and I know that I am forgiven for being absent the last couple of weeks and they both jump out of the SUV and run to the door. As I climb out I see Taylor trying to hide his amusement at their excitement. "Why don't you join us?" I say to him as I reach the door.


	2. Chapter 2: Who's Watching Who?

**Authors Note: Thanks for all the kind reviews of my first chapter…sorry it was so short...thought I'd see how it would be accepted before continuing…Pleased to say that I'm not entirely sure where this story is heading but I hope that you all enjoy it.**

I have no rights to characters created by EL James and still maintain complete respect for the Trilogy. 

**Much Love, **

**Xxx A **

**Anastasias POV: **

Here I am sitting in my office staring out the window thinking about my life in the fast and public lane so to speak. I'm still in my early thirties…well to me anyway. I am a Wife, Mother, Aunt, Sister, Godmother, Daughter-In-Law and Editor of one of the biggest publishing companies in Seattle. Grey Publishing has hit the ground running since after all the drama that happened with Hyde…of course it took me at least 6 months to fully recover from what happened and I'm just so glad that I could still keep my baby boy…well not so much a baby anymore but that's how I will always see him. Of course I was told by many people including my OBGYN and Mother-In-Law that I needed to slow down but I couldn't help it….I _Love _my job and nothing is going to change that, even if it means that my staff have to put up with having my children here with me…it's easier for me to have them than for Christian…CEO trumps Editor in my book and I loved having them hear chatting away to me and drawing pictures that still cover my office.

Hannah is still my Assistant but of course she doesn't mind as she gets to spend a lot of time with Katarina, and she spent that time with Teddie and Phoebe too. She has gotten married and is pregnant and I couldn't be happier for her as she means a lot to me…she kept me sane when I was thrown into Acting Editor all those years ago. Of course security hasn't changed...well aside from the fact that we have twice as many members now but I'm glad I only have to have Luke with me when I'm at work.

Speaking of…it's 11:30am and I am finishing my notes on a new author's book that I have a lunch date with today, which is really sad because Christian had arranged lunch with Teddie and Phoebe and I know that it was because he felt guilty for working so much but he's had a lot of business deals in the last 3 weeks that have coursed him work till at least 8:00pm. By the time he gets home they're doing their homework, showering and then in bed. But I knew that he had arranged special plans for them and I was glad that he was spending some time with them.

I looked up from my desk after hearing my 3 and a half year old daughter giggling and I know it's because Luke is tickling her. It's amazing how much her face looks like Christian but her personality is so much like mine. Although she is my baby girl….I can't help but wonder if she will ever want to have a brother or sister so she can be a big sister. She has Christians nose and mouth with his cheek bones and hair colour but she has my hair length and her eyes are blue with grey speckles which Grace said was special because it doesn't happen that often that children get both eye colours. She's tall for her age but she doesn't speak a lot unless she's in the mood. Not that I'm complaining, it seems like the other two have grown up so fast, I want her to enjoy her childhood as much as possible.

Katarina has everyone including my co-workers wrapped around her little fingers. I'm interrupted from my day dream when my intercom buzzes.

"**Ana….your lunch appointment with Mr Bradshaw is in half an hour…you asked me to remind you" Hannah's voice came over the monitor. **

"Thank you Hannah…" I say back to her and then look at Luke. "Do you think that you could watch her for a few minutes while I go to the ladies and then make sure everything is organised…" I said to him smiling as I walked over to her kissing her head before walking out the door. I knew he wouldn't mind. He hasn't complained once since Teddie was born about watching the Grey children.

I used the ladies and checked my makeup and outfit just to make sure that it was 'perfect' or as close as it could get, of course Christian said I always looked beautiful and it always made me feel confident. Of course I never felt more uncomfortable then when I was wearing something fitting and heels and meeting new people and especially at lunch. I walked back to my office and grabbed the manuscript that was on my desk and the notes that I had made as well as my jacket and then leaned down and picked up Rina. "Shall we go have some lunch?" I said to her as Luke followed us to the elevator and down to the lobby and out to the car park where my car was parked. Thankfully Luke didn't mind my driving…and I was in no condition to be argued with when it came to transporting my baby. I hated taking her to these meetings because they took so long and were extremely boring but as always Luke comes to my rescue. He loves watching her if it means that I can do my job properly.

It was only a few minutes from my office to the little coffee house called Caffe Vita which was exactly my sort of place not big and fancy but not too cosy to be romantic. I pulled up outside and looked over at Luke. "Why don't you take her to meet up with Christian and I will call you when I'm finished…this could take a while. If he asks why you're not with me just tell him that I said she would be more comfortable with them rather than someone she didn't know…" I climbed out and opened the back door and leaned down kissing her cheek. "Uncle Luke is going to take you to Daddy, Teddie and Poppy okay? Momma will be finished soon and then you can come back…" I murmured as I grabbed my documents and gave Luke a quick hug. He was family after working for us for so long and it was just natural for me. I blew a kiss to Rina and then headed inside saying that there was a reservation for two under Grey and was shown to the table and saw my car pull out into the street and drive away.

I could imagine my phone blowing up from Christian about the fact that I was alone with a random guy who I knew nothing about. His concern with my safety has been so over the top since Jack and I couldn't blame him but I don't think that Mr Bradshaw would do anything to hurt me, I mean I'm going to be the owner of the company who's going to publish his book…he wouldn't try anything would he? Oh well too late now…he just walked through the door and is being shown to my table. I guess we'll find out.

"**Mrs Grey…how nice to see you…you look lovely…pictures do not do you justice…" **Mr Bradshaw said as he sat down at the table.

"**Well aren't you a charmer…it's nice to meet you in person Mr Bradshaw…" **I replied as I knew my cheeks flushed….I still couldn't take a compliment, whether it was from Christian or someone else.

"**Please call me Arthur…it only seems fair as I know who you are Ana…" **he said with a small smirk on his face as he called Suzanne over to the table so he could order. He ordered steak, eggs and chips with a beer and it made me laugh at how much of a typical man he is.

_"The usual Mrs Grey?_ " Suzanne asked as she smiled at me and I nodded. She walked away and into the kitchen.

"So _Arthur _I wanted to discuss certain notes that I have about you book, would that be okay with you?" I asked as I picked up the glass and poured in some water before taking a sip.

"**Of Course Ana…what can I help you with?" **he replied as he sat back in his chair folding his hands in his lap.

"Well first of all I love your story…I love a good romance meets imagination…I'm just a little confused as to the time line of how it all works…it starts off at the age of 16 and finishes when the main character Troy is like 90 years old and it's all in one book…is that because of the way he travels to the future in his mind or is it simply how you wanted people to sort of be confused about?..." I asked and so it would go for another hour or so going through and checking my questions and making sure that he was okay with the publishing, times and dates, the cover, dedication etc.

**Christians POV:**

I smiled as I asked my children how school was going. They were too busy eating to talk and of course I wasn't complaining because my views on my family and their eating habits haven't changed.

"**Slow down guys anyone would think that you are never fed at home, which you and I both know is not true…" **I said to my two children as I looked at Jason who was smirking trying not to laugh.

"Sorry daddy….it's just we don't have long for lunch and this food is _amazing_…Oh Jason please do not tell Gail I said that…" Phoebe said as she smiled softly at both of them. Taylor just smiled shaking his head.

"_Of course not Miss Phoebe…." _Jason said softly as he caught sight of Luke in the window. _"Uh Mr Grey….I think you have an unexpected visitor…"_ he said as pointed towards the entrance where Luke was holding Katarina in his arms as she rested her head on his shoulders.

I looked from Jason to where he was pointing and I suddenly felt panic rush over me as I waved him over. **"Luke why are you here? What's wrong? Where's Ana?" **I asked as I felt all kinds of emotions run through me as I reached up for my youngest child. **"Who's with her? Don't tell me she's on her own?" **I said at I looked up at him as anger started to take over. She really has no regard for her safety even after everything that has happened to her. Well I won't stand for her letting her security go. She is a public figure now and anything could happen, in the blink of an eye she could be gone….no I can't think like that not when all of our children are here and the look on their faces say it all….they're just as worried about her as I am.


	3. Chapter 3: When You Lose Faith

**Authors Note: Thanks so much to everyone who has reviewed or added it as a favourite or is following my story I am glad that you guys are enjoy it and I hope that I can continue to please you all. **

**I have no rights to characters created by EL James and still maintain complete respect for the Trilogy. **

**Much Love, **

**Xxx A **

**Christians POV:**

I look to Luke and can see that he seems uncomfortable. He is easy to read after so many years. **"She didn't give you much of a choice did she?" **I asked as I knew that she must have told him something that made him feel confident in coming here.

"_Mr Grey, she asked me to bring Katarina here because of how uncomfortable she can get around new people and Mrs Grey thought that Rina would be better off with you and her siblings rather than stuck in a restaurant while she is going over this author's book. You know that I would do anything for your children Sir…I know that my job first and for most is to protect her but to Mrs Grey, there is nothing more important than making sure that Katarina is happy…" Luke said as he looked at Rina who was falling asleep. _

"**Well I guess I can't be mad at you for seeing her views but she still shouldn't have been there alone…have a seat Luke and have a glass of water…I need to get Katarina some food and then we can see how we can best sort out this situation." **I said as I looked down at my youngest daughter who was so cute and was a mix of both Ana and I. I had to admit that she was the easiest one to know who she looked like because her looks are mixed as are her unique eyes and her smile. **"Hey baby girl…you wanna go to Poppy and Daddy will get you some food…okay?" **I said gently as I rubbed her back, she looked up at me and then over at Phoebe and put her arms out squeezing her fingers. I had to laugh as I handed her over and then stood up walking over to the restaurant kitchen taking out my phone and sent a text to Ana.

_***You and I are going to have a serious talk when I see you. You still have no idea how much you could be in danger. It's worse now that Grey Publishing is one of the top Publishing Companies in Seattle* **_

I ordered Katarina's favourite and brought it back to the table. I watched all my children as they ate and I have never imagined my life turning out like this. It still amazes me how after everything that happened in my childhood that I could have raised 2 children to be respectful and helpful and to have another one who still has so much to learn. I guess you could say that my children were making me soft, I've done everything from changing diapers to cuddles when they are sick or having nightmares…but Ana and I both agreed that they would always know who we were…no nannies, no babysitters just her and I and of course Gail and Jason, but they lived with us so technically it didn't count…at least, I mean their family…not some stranger who we had to interview and then do a background check on…of course how I do business has not changed no matter how hard I try I am still concerned about safety first and foremost, more now that I have 3 people who depend on me more than anything else in the world apart from their mother.

**Anas POV: **

I am listening to Mr Bradshaw as he explained in detail about his story although I still don't completely understand it I do see where he is coming from and what he wants to achieve. I feel my phone vibrate in my pocket and I know that must be from Christian because he's the only one that texts me during that day. I reach into my pocket and switch my phone off. Now is not the time for him to be angry at me…I did what was right for our daughter and I'm not going to apologise for that.

The only good thing about bringing the children to the office is that I have learnt to listen and do other things at the same time a lot more than I use to because I can sit at my desk reading emails and still be having conversations with them without getting lost, which has come in handy a lot since becoming the main editor of Grey Publishing.

"So Arthur, I guess we could see how this one starts and then decide from there as to how many more books could be possible to be published…I mean to me it seems like you may have to contend with a book which I think is more like yours you may have heard of it…The Time Traveller's Wife?" I asked as I took a sip of my tea.

**Arthur Bradshaws POV:**

"**Yes I guess you could say that my story is similar to the Time Travellers Wife but I can promise you that there will always be unanswered questions and I will always be more than willing to meet with you…" **I replied sweetly as I watched her taking in my information. The way her hair falls around her shoulders, her lips, those eyes, Mr Grey sure as hell is one cocky lucky son of a bitch but surely I can show her what she is missing out on. I could show her what a real man does to take care of his woman, when she should be disciplined, when she should speak, what she should do. Woman don't belong in the business world, they belong in the house, making a home, providing food and a clean house for their man and children. She was going to learn because clearly she hadn't learnt that from Mr Grey.

I can see her face flush as she looks at me, no doubt knowing what I'm thinking. I am not a man who is ashamed to show his feelings or his thoughts on his face. **"Ana...please allow me to take you out for dinner as a thank you for helping me get my first story published." **I said gently as I leaned forward on the table. **"Surely you could spare some time for little old me…if your free tonight I would be glad to take you out…" **I can see her shift uncomfortably in her seat and she blushed darker.

"Uh I don't think that would be wise…because as you know I am married and I would rather that we just keep our encounters to professional meetings rather than personal. I hope that you can understand…" She said as she looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes from under those long black eyelashes. Oh the feelings she is sending through my body to one area in particular but who wouldn't have that reaction when they looked at her, for a mother she still looked mighty fine.

I couldn't help but smile as I listened to her, the classic; I have a family, let's be professional speech. Well I'm sorry but I don't play that way. **"With all due respect Ana I won't take no for an answer you are coming and you are going to enjoy yourself and you will spend time with me….you wouldn't want for anything bad to get into the press about Grey Publishing now do you?" **I say as I watch her as her face falls. I know that she would do anything to keep herself out of the press, she's easy to read and it's been obvious from previous newspaper articles that she hates being in the spotlight.

"Look Mr Bradshaw I don't know what your deal is or what you're playing at but I don't take kindly to being threatened now if you'll excuse me I think we're finished here. I will email you for all or further business meetings, but I don't want you anywhere near me…are we clear?" her voice was shaky and she was playing with her fingers as she stood up grabbing her jacket.

"**Crystal Ana…but I think you may change your mind…" **I add as I stand up and grab her arm. **"You and I are going to exit this coffee shop…you are going to come to the car with me…you're not going to make a scene or scream because if you do…something might very well happen to your daughters and you wouldn't want that now would you?" **I whisper in her ear as I place my other hand on her waist.

Her face turned pale and her body stiffened and I knew that I had her in the palm of my hand. She nodded as she lifted her jacket and her documents before she started to walk towards the front door. "Just add it to my card…" I heard her say as she past the lady that had taken our orders. I grabbed her arm and lead her towards my car and opened the door. She climbed in and put her belt on. I closed the door and smirked as I walked around to my side of the car getting in and pulled out of the parking space and started to drive.


	4. Chapter 4: Falling From Hope

**A/N: Sorry this update is late…I've had a lot of stuff happening in my personal life that I'm having to deal with and it's not easy and I'm trying to make chapters longer as that is what most of you have been asking for. The answer to one of the reviews is no this is not a cheating story…I wouldn't cheat in my relationship so I wouldn't do it in my story. I am trying my best to show sides that people haven't seen before. I am reading many stories on here and pulling different aspects from them but trying not to make them sound the same. I am not a thief or a stealer and if you find that I have done that then please let me know because it's not my intention.  
**

**I apologise if it jumps around a bit…I'm just trying to give a better picture and hopefully fill in some gaps that people may have. **

**I don't have any claim to the characters created by E.L James. Nor do I want to because they are amazing. **

**Enjoy and Review would love to hear your thoughts, well read them anyway.**

Much Love

**Xxx A. **

**Christians POV**:

It's now 2 o'clock in the afternoon and both my eldest have been back to school, but boy did they put up a fight wanting to know what was happening with their mother, which of course I had no answers for. Rina is in reception with Andrea because I refused to have her anywhere but in the building with me while Luke went back to the coffee house where he dropped her off to find out what was happening. I am now in a meeting again...and I can't focus because all I can think about is where my Angel is.

_"...this is where our attention is needed most, we could lose one of our biggest job opportunity companies because no one is communicating with me on the matter and that they're saying that there is simply no room for us to build on the land. Mr Grey...surely you can get a hold of someone in Tokyo and find out if there is anything that we can do that will allow them to let us continue?..."_ Mark Stronghold from Building and Planning is talking to me but I can't be bothered concentrating, not that I really have to because I've had many of these meetings that I know how most of them go.

**"Sure leave it with me and I'll see what I can do...I'll try and have an answer to you by tomorrow afternoon at the latest..." **I reply as I stand up. **"If you'll excuse me I have to go and check on my daughter..." **Of course they are used to having my children around as they have all been here. I walk out of the board room to the giggling of my little diamond, she sounds exactly like her mother which just makes my heart break even more...I wish I knew where she was and what she was doing. I sure hope that she will be back tonight. As tomorrow is our 4th of July party at my parents and I would hate to have to explain why I'm there alone with my children. Gee that would go down well with everybody…..not. They all adore her and none of us have ever been the same since the day we all met her.

I smile as I walk around the corner and lean against the wall as I watch Andrea interact with Katarina. She has always been there for me from when I first started my company and she deserves to have a break every now and then and of course her and Ana are great friends and she works so hard and I have never had to yell at her or talk to her about being replaced and to be honest after being with Ana for so long I don't think I could ever find the nerve to do so.

"_Round and round the mulberry bush went the teddy bear, one step….two step….tickling under there…" _I listen to Andrea as she plays tickle monster with my youngest. She giggles so hard that she starts to cough and pushes Andrea's hands away and I can't help but chuckle.

"DADDY" I hear Rina call as she turns to see me and comes running over and I bend down and pick her up.

"**Hey beautiful…" **I murmur against her cheek as I kiss it and look over at Andrea. **"Thank you for keeping her entertained…Have I missed any calls?" **I ask as I start to head towards my office.

"_Actually Sir, Luke called….he spoke to Suzanne at Caffe Vita and she said that both Ana and Mr Bradshaw left at 1:00pm…Luke contacted Taylor and they spoke to Welch and are searching to find out everything they can about him….Suzanne also told Luke that Mrs Grey asked her to charge it to her card….which was very unlike her…" _she said with genuine concern about Ana. Andrea is one of the only people that know that we can't contact Ana and I had to tell her because I was in a meeting and it was important that I find out what was going on.

"**Thank you Andrea…please can you get me Tokyo on the line…I need to arrange a conference call at some time to sort out the problems we are having…" **I say as I walk into my office and close the door holding my daughter close to me and I close my eyes leaning my head against hers as she cuddles into my side her arms wrapped around my neck.

"**Where is mommy huh? I know that no matter where she is she is thinking about you baby girl…" **I whispered to her as I walked to my desk and sat down putting her in my lap holding her close. I'm glad that after everything that has happened that Rina wasn't a part of it. I could just imagine the possible damage that something like this could have done to her later on in her life.

"_Mr Grey…Tokyo is on line one for you…" _Andrea's voice came through the intercom and I took a deep breath and cleared my throat before picking up the phone.

"**Good evening Mr Oshawa, I'm sorry to bother you but we have a bit of a problem…" **I say into the phone as I watch my daughter smiling as she plays with my fingers.

**Arthur Bradshaws POV:**

Well what can I say it has been an interesting hour and a half, I have managed to get _the_ Mrs Grey to make me some snacks and when she refused the first time I back handed her and she held her face but didn't talk to me and walked into the kitchen and started to wonder around looking to see where everything was. Of course before all of that we had a very straight to the point discussion that she was to do everything I asked or she would see what the consequences would be like she just found out. She has just brought out my sandwich. **"There now that wasn't so hard was it sweetie?" **I say softly as I touch her hand and I see her tense up slightly and then relax again.

"No _baby_ it wasn't…" she said to me with as much distaste she could put on the word baby. It made me laugh the way she said it.

She turned and walked back to the kitchen and I see her grab a glass of water from the tap and she is staring out the window tapping her fingers on the bench. She has a great body I will give her that, but I don't want anyone's sloppy seconds. She placed her glass in the sink and then looked at me.

"Is there anything else you want…or can I use the bathroom?" she asked me as she walked towards the hallway.

"**You can use the bathroom…" **I said to her as I picked up my sandwhich…which is incredible...and started to eat it. When I finished I got up and walked to my room. This is going to be fun…no one knows where she is….no one knows that I'm just an innocent man trying to teach a woman her rightful place….this is definitely the chance to get started on a way to write I book that will teach men of today how a woman should treat them, what they should do to make sure they stay in their rightful place.

Oh well step one is done…teaching her not to backchat me. Step two is done…showing her that I'm the boss now onto step three…showing her what her duties as a housewife should be. I open the door and walk down the hallway and around the corner into the kitchen, I am completely taken off guard when my face is met with a fist and then my balls are meet with a knee and I have fallen backwards with everything going black and I can feel the floorboards under my back as I lose consciousness.

**Anas POV:**

This has been the longest hour and a half of my life. First I had to listen to him tell me what I was going to do and what I was supposed to learn from this. Second I got smart to him and he hit me…now that was definitely the wrong move on his part but I wasn't going to play my hand to fast. There was definitely no way that he was going to lay another hand on me and then to top it all off he touched my hand when I passed him his sandwich, oh and calling him baby now that tore my heart out I only have one baby and right now he is probably lost without me and deciding how I'm going to pay for my lack of wellbeing for my safety. The only difference between what Christian does to me is it is out of love, not to teach me a lesson like this guy thinks he's going to do. Well he has another thing coming. The only reason I excused myself to the bathroom is because I couldn't standing being around him any longer.

I smiled when I heard him close a door and poked my head out making sure it was clear before walking back into the kitchen. If I was going to be home in time to be able to spend tomorrow with my family and to go to the 4th of July party that we have every year this was going to happen now. I could hear footsteps behind me and made my move as I saw him come around the corner. Before I knew it my hand connected with his nose and then my knee with his lower region and he was on the floor his head to the side and I groaned as I held my hand and walked to the freezer to get something cold. Of all the stupid things I could do, it would be to injure myself because of this asshole.

I hear him groan as he comes back to reality and I can't help but thank Claude for helping me learn to defend myself so that what Hyde did to me would never happen again. Of course it was mainly just to keep me fit but I would rather know that I could defend myself should I need to. Of course Christian and I had a big debate as he said I would never need it, but it wasn't for him, it was for me and my piece of mind which of course proves that once again, I should thank my husband for being as concerned as he is.

"**You fucken bitch….you really did the wrong thing…you realise that no one knows where you are and you are never seeing you precious family again…" **I hear him say to me as I turn around and see him smirking at me, the sick prick.

"Well actually Mr Bradshaw I did the exact thing that you didn't want me to do, or think that I could ever do…while I maybe small in my build I am more than I appear and the worst thing you could ever have done was threaten me with my children….were you never told that you should never get on the wrong side of a lion who is trying to do everything she can to protect her cubs?..." I say laughing as I watch him trying to stand up.

"You have no idea the damage I could really do to you…but you have just put yourself on the Grey hit list because you never want to mess with another man's wife….especially _the_ Christian Grey, because he has friends in all the right places and I can guarantee that you will never see the light of day if no when he gets his hands on you and I won't be on your side." I say as I bend down next to him. "You might prefer to stay there because I promise you that if you stand up, you'll just end up back down there and I don't care if I break something…I will fight you until I'm dead, before you lay your hands on me ever again." I add as I stand back up.

"**You have just rocked the boat that is holding all the life rafts you can be sure that no matter where you go or what you do I will be there watching and waiting for the opportunity to get to those pretty little girls of yours who will learn the right way to behave and to treat a man…" **he told me as I watched his face. He doesn't know when to give up. Well he's lucky that I haven't contacted Christian because if he heard him say that there is no way that he would be alive in fifteen minutes probably considering we're not that far away from Grey Enterprises Holdings. It takes a stupid man to take someone and have them see where they are going…clearly he didn't think this through very well which doesn't surprise me considering her doesn't seem all at home upstairs if you know what I mean. I sigh and ran look down at my hand and then looked at him.

"Now it's your turn to listen and you might want to take heed to what I'm about to say to you….if you ever and I mean ever come within 1000 metres of me I can guarantee that you will not be walking should you have the opportunity to get away….you are going to take you little stupid, pretentious, arrogant ass and you are going to get out of this state and then this country and I swear that if I ever hear your name or see you face I will be the last person you see and it will be my name that will be your last word because I will do everything in my power to make your life miserable and there is no way that anyone will ever want to publish your work once they realise what you _tried_ to do to me….do you understand?" I asked him as I walked over to the chair where my jacket and documents were and then looked back at him.

"**You think you have so much power…..well I think you are delusional little lady…" **he said as he sat up looking at me. It's one thing to look at another man's wife in anyway but it is completely another to call me a little lady.

"You just don't get it do you….I'm not giving you a choice….you are going to pack, leave the state and then leave the country and NEVER come back…" I say as I run back over to him and kick him in the face and he falls back and I hear his head hit the floor and I can't help but smile a little that I could make a grown man unconscious not once but twice in the space of 30 minutes.

I reached over and picked up my jacket with my good hand after putting the frozen vegetables on the table and pulled it on wincing as I put my other arm through it. I took my phone out and hit speed dial one, please tell me that he is not with Christian. After two rings someone picks up.

"…_Where are you?" _ That is all I hear and I can tell from the tone that Christian is not the only one who is pissed off at me.

**Taylors POV: **

I have been going out of my mind as I try to keep on track with what Mr Grey has asked me to do. I have just gotten off the phone from GEH with both Luke and Welch and we haven't been able to pull anything up yet about where _Mr Bradshaw_ could be and Luke is still looking, he is going back to Grey Publishing to see if anyone has heard from her or seen her, but something tells me that will be a dead end. I've been listening to Andrea with Miss Grey and that giggle makes me miss my son, and I couldn't bear it if anything happened to Gail and Jackson was left without his mother for even a little while. Christian hasn't been this upset or rattled for a long time and now it's even worse because Katarina could have been involved as well and that would have sent him over the edge.

I decided to go get a coffee and check that Christian is doing okay and I see him sitting at his desk smiling as he tickles his daughter and she's laughing. He must be pulling funny faces while he's on the phone and he's playing with her hair like has always done. I poured my coffee and took a sip before my phone started to ring. I look at the number and sigh as a small hope of relief rushes through me. I click the button and hold it to my ear.

"…_Where are you?" _ I ask as I take a deep breath waiting for a reply. Please let this be her and not the asshole that she's supposedly with ringing to get money or whatever because he rung the wrong number.

"Jason please don't start…I'll get an ear full later from Christian and I really don't need it from you…." I hear her and can't help but feel sorry for her. She has a kind heart that gets her into a lot of trouble and she never asks for it.

"_Well Ana…why have you called me instead of Luke?" _I ask but I'm pretty sure I know the answer.

"Because I know that he will give me an earful just as bad as Christian and I really can't take that right now….I need you to come get me and take me to the hospital I think I might have done some serious damage to my hand…" I frown slightly hearing her and I know that she knows that she is in for a tough night.

"Please don't tell Christian…I want to go to the hospital first and get checked out before he starts to go all angry CEO worried husband on me…." She adds before I have time to respond.

"_Okay I'm on my way….where are you?" _I ask as I walked back into my office and grab my keys.

"I'm on west 68th and 5th… 4 blocks from GEH…."

"_Okay I'm on my way…" _I hang up and look at Andrea. _"If he asks I'll be back soon but Reynolds is in the office….if he needs anything…" _ I walk towards the elevator and press the ground floor travelling down.

The good thing that she is safe and alive…now the only question is how hurt is she and what the hell happened. I pull out of the Company parking garage and head in her direction. I pull onto the street and I can see her in her green jacket leaning against a pole and she looks like she's been crying. I pull up next to her and climb out walking towards her.

"Jason…." She murmured as she walked towards me and wrapped an arm around me as she broke down crying.

"_It's okay Ana you're safe and you will be with your family soon enough…" _I wrap my arms around her and hold her for a few minutes before leading her towards the car.

"_We should get you to the hospital…I can only keep Christian away for so long…"_ she climbs in without a fuss and settles into the seat holding her hand close to her chest as she placed her paperwork on the seat and she closed her eyes.

Ten minutes later we pull up outside the back of the hospital, not that going through the front would cause any dramas but after the morning that she has had this seemed like the best option. I opened her door and helped her out avoiding her hand and I placed my hand on her back gently and walked with her into the hospital to the paediatrics ward and we waited for a few minutes before I saw Grace.

"_Uh Mrs Grey…" _ I say gently as I tap her on the shoulder. She turned and looked at me with a surprised expression on her face.

I see her look straight past me at Ana and her hand flies to her mouth as she runs over to her and wraps Ana in her arms before she collapsed on the floor. I see Grace stand and lift her as she lay limp in her arms and she turned to look at me.

"Get Christian here…I'm assuming he doesn't know that you're here…." I look at her and shake my head.

"_If you think that is best I will….but you should know that she was kidnapped earlier today….I'm assuming that her hand is in relation to her taking the guy down…" _ I told her as I pull my phone out and dial Reynolds number. I saw Grace walk past me and into a room and followed her as she pulled the curtain around the bed.

"_Reynolds it's T…you need to get Christian and get to the hospital right now….tell him that I have Ana and she is with his mother and that is all he needs to know at this point. We are in the paediatrics ward as it was the easiest place to bring her without any other security…" _I hang up and listen to Grace as I wait behind the curtain.

**Graces POV:**

Well I was certainly not expecting to see either Jason or Ana until tomorrow but it looks like she may not even be able to make it. She was shaking and she was holding her arm and crying when I saw her it broke my heart and I ran to her. Turns out it was just in time otherwise she could have had serious injuries. Ana is now lying on one of the beds with the curtain pulled and I can hear Jason on the phone to Reynolds. Something tells me that when my son gets here he will be in a bad mood, from what Jason just told me it isn't good. Her hand looks messed up and at the moment her breathing is laboured. I push the buzzer on the wall to call for another nurse. My main priority first and foremost is to make sure that my amazing Daughter-In-Law is breathing and conscious because it seems like she is going to be the only one that is going to be able to explain everything that I need to know.

"Jason was she talking when you got here?" I ask as I pull the curtain back to see him as I check her pulse and her pupils.

"_She rung me and got me to pick her up….then when I got there she just said my name and cried in my arms and that was the last time she really said anything…" _ he said as I moved around the other side and got a trolley and came back. I took her good arm and found her vain and inserted a needle into her arm that I could hook up an IV drip to.

"It seems to me that she is suffering from and adrenaline crash in laymen's turns…her body is coming down from an extensive rush of adrenaline and her body just couldn't handle the come down and she just fainted….she will be okay but she might be out for a little while…she needs to rest and while she is doing that I'm going to organise an x-ray of her hand and make sure that nothing is broken or fractured…" I murmur as I write down what her blood pressure and blood sugar is.

"When Christian gets here, it is not to start going off okay… I have children that are sleeping and Ana needs some rest too, if he has to let of steam he can do it somewhere else." I walk out leaving Ana with Jason and I check her into the system even though she is not supposed to be on this ward, I don't want her anywhere else, she doesn't need the added stress of press and questions and strangers. I will put a do not disturb sign on her door and hope like crazy that she is awake in a hour or two or it may mean I have to do a CT Scan just to be sure there is nothing more dangerous going on.

**Taylors POV: **

"_Luke I need you to head over to West 68__th__ and 5__th__ street 4 blocks away from GEH and check out the house….I have Ana at the hospital, I'm not answering any questions right now…I need you to make sure that the asshole that took Ana isn't there and if he is that he isn't dead that's the last thing we need at the moment….but make sure that you give him an understanding of what will happen if he comes near her or anyone of the Grey family ever again okay…." _ I hang up not even giving him the chance to talk back to me or ask questions.

I take a deep breath as I see Christian come running into the corridor. **"Where is she Taylor? What's happening? Why are you here? Where's Mom?" **he yelled to me as I stood up from the chair I was sitting in.

"_Sir please keep your voice down….you mother has asked me to make sure you don't scream he ward down…she has too many people asleep on this floor, Ana is fine. She is in the room directly down the hall and at this stage there is nothing to much that they can do until she is awake…she collapsed from an adrenaline rush and is asleep at the moment. You mom had her sent for an x-ray on her hand and nothing is broken, she fractured her index and middle fingers but they should be right in a week or two. Now I'm not supposed to know all of this because I'm not you but she is flat out at the moment and wanted you to know what was happening when you got here and because of the fact I work for you she knows that I won't do anything bad with the information…so that's the answer to where Ana is and what is happening…." _ I have to take a breath and make sure that I'm not speaking to loud.

"_The answer to why I am here is this….she called me because she knew that if she called you or Luke that you would both have a go at her and she wasn't in the mood for that and I don't blame her…she knows that she isn't going to be able to avoid you forever but she needed a friend that wasn't going to give her an earful nd to be honest the way she was when I picked her up…I doubt she would have been in any state to argue but I doubt that either of you would have had the heart to have a go at her. She just wanted to be brought here and she wanted me not to tell you and I respected her wishes…the only reason you are here is because your mother told me to call you…" _I have always been straight up and honest with him and it's not changing now…nothing about this life is normal but then again I think normal is over rated.

"**Taylor please…I just want to know if I can go and see her…" **he asked me and I couldn't help but see the desperation in his eyes, I would be the same if it was Gail.

"_Your mom has put a do not disturb sign on her door, but I don't know if it's because you can't see her or if it's so no one knows that she's here…" _I say honestly as I never asked Grace.

"NANNY" Katarina called as she squirmed in Christians arm and he let her down and we watch as Rina runs towards Grace who has looked up and smiling as she bent down to grab her.

"Hi angel…Are you being a good girl for daddy?" she asked and Rina nodded her head as wrapped her arms around Grace's neck.

It seemed like time had stood still because I didn't see Christian walking towards his mom but there he was standing next to her. I couldn't hear their conversation but I could tell by his body language that he was beat; he couldn't hold it together anymore. His shoulders had slumped and he was running his hands through his hair. Something is telling me that it might be a long night but not because of Ana and Christian's discussion that needs to be had, but because of the condition that she is in at the moment.

**Theodore Raymond's POV: **

This has been the longest afternoon of my life and possible Phoebes, neither of us have any clue as to what is happening with Mom and we know that Dad is upset because he didn't say much when he dropped us back of at school after lunch. It was so great to have some time with him, since he's been so busy and is travelling next week. I wish that he was home more because I feel so outnumbered even though most of our security is there; it's just not the same being the only man in the family. I mean don't get me wrong I love my sisters but at times I wish that my parents would have had a boy. I love being Christian Grey's son…but it can be tough at school for not only me but my sister and cousin as well. We are always being bullied, or picked on or even being left out of some activities but the hardest part is being followed around even at school, granted they mainly stand in the corridors and outside the school and don't hover but it can be annoying.

I'm sitting here in my AP European history class….yes I'm one of those smart people…guess I get it from my father but all the knowledge and passion for reading I of course get from my mother. I just wish that class was over so that I can check on Phoebe who's in AP French Language class at the moment and she was miserable when we had to come back. I told her that we would be okay and that Mom would be fine but I've always had a soft spot for my Little Sis…if anything ever happened to her I would lose it completely…probably more than Dad would at Mom. I can't concentrate in class because I'm so worried about both Mom and Dad. I don't like it when they fight or have disagreements but I can understand how stressful he can be at times….and there goes the bell now to find my sister and make sure that she hasn't lost it in class…I'm pretty sure that I would have known because it wouldn't be the first time.

We of course share lockers next door to each other and then next to Ava, it was the easiest way to make sure that we were all checking in with each other and it meant that security had an easier job as well all though among a school of nearly 700 students it can't be that much of an easy job. There are 3 Security guards that are always at school with us, Connor O'Dell, Kristen Graham and Kelly Johnston. O'Dell is mine, Graham is Phoebes and Johnston is Ava's. We're use to it and half the time you never notice that they are there which is good because we feel normal but other times is comforting, like today.

"Hey Ebe, are you doing okay sis?" I have always called her Ebe because I couldn't say Phoebe when she was born, but I also call her Monkey but that's normally when we're at home, she has never minded me calling her Monkey but it just seems more appropriate. She was always trying to get me in trouble when she was little so I started to call her Monkey.

"Je deviens fou, je ne peux pas arrêter de penser à maman et puis je me suis posé des questions en classe que je ne pouvais pas répondre parce que je n'étais pas concentrée et j'ai failli me faire virer. Je veux savoir ce qui se passe ... J'espère qu'elle va bien"__she said to me as I opened my locker and put my books away.

It's a good thing that I can speak French to otherwise that would have been a funny look that she got from me. "Okay…okay….come back to America dearest sister. I know that she is okay…I couldn't concentrate in my class either and I doubt that Dad would have been cross if you got kicked out, he knows that we're worried about her….we have one more class before the end of school and then we can go home and hopefully Mom will be there or there will be information for us." I say as I look at her and acknowledge Ava who has just walked up next to her.

"Sorry I'm just scared…that something bad has happened and we won't be able to fix it…" She opened her locker and looked at Ava, of course she was just in the same class as Phoebe so she no doubt knows as they can read when something is wrong, it's crazy scary but good also.

"_Aunt Ana will be fine, Uncle Christian will find her, and you know that he wouldn't let anything happen to her. Look there's not a lot we can do from here, we just have to finish class and then you can both go and make sure that some one knows something." _Ava is always the one that can calm us both down…she is so much like Aunt Kate, but a little more tolerable.

"Come on girls, we need to head to class…" I told them both as I put my arm around Phoebe's shoulders. "Just one more hour….and then we will all be together…" I told her gently as we walked down the corridor. This was going to be the longest hour of our lives, just like this past hour has. I wish school closed early on the day before the 4th of July…tomorrow was something for us to look forward too, but now I'm not so sure any of us will be in the mood to go and have a good time.

**Christians POV:**

It's been over an hour since I arrived at the hospital and my children are due to finish school any minute and there's been no change in my wife. She's still out to the world and while she looks so beautiful and peaceful, I feel responsible for this. She's become the biggest target for people since we got together. She gave me my life back….the one that I started to have at about 5 till I turned 15 and then I was in the dark…I couldn't find a way out and then she fell into my life and it's been no turning back ever since. I needed her more than anything else in the world and she gave me hope, love, a family and she made me whole again.

I hold her hand to my cheek as I watch her, she has a red cheek that has a hand print on it and I know that she was hit by that fucker. Which I still have to find out information on, if I see the guy he's going to wish that he hadn't because he won't be talking, walking or even alive when I am finished with him. It wouldn't take much for me to take anyone down if they threaten my family or do anything to harm them, I don't take nicely to being messed with no matter who they think they are.

"**Come on baby…I need you to wake up…I love you and our children love you and we're all worried about you and we want to know what happened…Please…I can't lose you…." **I whispered as I held her hand to my lips and kissed it repeatedly. I just want to look at her eyes and see her smile and hear her say my name and that she loves me…everything else can wait. I just need her to be okay, we'll all fall apart without her.

I sigh gently as I wipe my cheek as a tear has fallen and continue to hold her hand as I look across to the couch seeing my little Diamond asleep sucking her thumb. Yes it's a bad habit I know but then again I was still sucking my thumb when Grace and Carrick brought me home. She will grow out of it and today I'm not in the mood to upset her. She has been asking for her Mommy all afternoon and all I could tell her was that she would see her later on.

There's a knock on the door and I look over seeing my Mom come in followed by my baby boy and girl, yes I know that they aren't babies any more but they will always be my babies. I place my finger against my lips telling them to come in quietly pointing to Katarina. I've been trying to get her to go to sleep since after lunch and I guess all the tickling and cuddles got her worn out and calmed down enough for her to feel safe enough to fall asleep.

"How's she doing?" I ask as I look at my Mom who is checking Ana's chart and then monitors as I feel my daughter move my other arm that was on my lap and she sat on me cuddling me as she looked at Ana.

"_Will she be okay Nana…?"_ Phoebe asks softly as she starts to cry. I realise now that this is the second time that they have seen her in this state, the last time being when she got pneumonia after falling in the lake when the wind picked up and she was in the way of one of the sails and got swept overboard on one of our family sailing trips that we try to take once a year.

"She will be fine honey…just two fractured fingers and she passed out, she should wake any time now, she's been out for quite a while…maybe she was just waiting so that when she woke up she could see you beautiful face…" my Mom smiled kissing her head before walking out of the room. She always knew the right things to say to them when they were worried; I still struggle to convey my emotions and feelings to help them out. They know bits and pieces about my childhood but it's never been the right time to tell them everything.

"**Mom will be awake soon, but for now I want to know all about school? How was the rest of your afternoon? I'm sorry that I never told you that she had been found; I just wanted you to get through today…without having to worry too much about her." **The thing about me is that I don't want them to worry when they didn't have to and because I didn't know the full story I wasn't going to get Taylor to contact O'Dell and pull the children out of their classes. I did however ask Taylor to contact him and to bring the children here when they had finished and just tell them that she was at the hospital and that's where they were going now.

"_Daddy, please don't be mad at us but we were struggling to concentrate during our classes…I nearly got kicked out of my French class…I just couldn't stop thinking about Mom…"_ Poppy said to me and I couldn't help but kiss her head and smile slightly.

"**I'm not mad baby girl…I can understand that you have every right to be worried about your mother and I wouldn't have it any other way…" **I move to look at her and tap her nose.

"**Je ne serais jamais en colère contre vous pour faire virer si c'est parce que vous êtes inquiet au sujet de quelqu'un dans notre famille va bien?" **I know that they both can understand me and it's cool that we can communicate in different languages. Of course we travel a lot as a family but I travel more for work.

I look over to my son who has pulled Rina into his lap and is stroking her hair gently. "Dad, do we still be able to go to the party tomorrow if Mom's not up to it…can't we just do something at home?" he asked and I could see how much this was tearing him up.

"**I don't have all the answers right now Son, but I think that when your she wakes up we will see what she has to say, you know as well as I do that we can never predict what she will do…" **which he knows is true because of what happened when she was pregnant with him. We told him last year exactly what happened because he always wondered why Ana got upset sometimes when she was watching him.

I was holding her hand and I felt a twitch and I looked at her seeing her eyes moving underneath her lips. That's the first sign of movement since I've been here and hopefully it won't be too much longer…I don't want us to be here any longer than we have to be. I kiss her hand again and hold my eldest daughter close to me as we sit there in silence watching her.

**Luke's POV:**

I've been here for over 2 hours…when I arrived the house was wide open and the asshole…what was his name…Mr Bradshaw was climbing up from the floor and I have to hand it to Mrs Grey, he looks worse for wear. _Note to self: Don't get one her bad side._ I looked at him and you should have seen his face, he was about ready to shit bricks, at least I think that's how that expression goes.

"_I'm assuming that from the look on your face you know exactly who I am and why I am here?" _I smirk as I lean against the door frame and watch as he tries to shake his head like it's foggy or something.

"**You have no right to be in my house, this is private property and you're trespassing…" **he mumbled clearly something is wrong with his jaw because he can barely open his mouth.

"_You loss all right to have me done for trespassing when you kidnapped my boss and held her for over an hour against her will…now judging from your face I can tell that you didn't expect her to fight you…but there has been people before you who have tried to have a go at her and they always end up worst off than you. It takes a lot of guts I'll give you that but you messed with the wrong family…and you better hope that her husband doesn't see you because he will do worse…and more than likely get away with it because no one would blame him…" _he's squirming and something tells me that he's heard this before. Good he should have heard it from her.

"**She will be sorry that she messed with me…I will be there when she least expects it…those daughters of hers too." **Seriously does he not have a brain or is he hard of hearing? Clearly he's looking for a fight and it will be one that he will not win.

"_It would do you wise to not threaten me…considering I could do a lot of damage now and you wouldn't even lay a hand on me. I suggest that you get out of town and then out of the country because if I ever see you within 5 feet of myself or the family I work for it won't just be me that you will have to deal with…." _I watch him and then step forward.

"_If I find that you are still here tomorrow morning, it won't just be me that will turn up on your doorstep…You have until then to disappear and never show up again…" _I turn to leave and pull my phone out calling Welch.

"**Luke what can I do for you? I assume Jason doesn't know that you are calling me?" **Well point the obvious out much, if he knew it would have shown up as him because he would have called you.

"_Yeah Mr Bradshaw…the one that took Ana…his address is west 68__th__ and 5__th__ Street, number 109, his licence plate is UH04SK, I want you to track it and keep an eye on surveillance at the airport, he's been given an ultimatum and if he hasn't left town or gone to the airport in the morning contact Jason…he'll want to know…" _ Of course I will let him know when I see him what is happening and no doubt Mr Grey will want to know too.

I hang up and make my way to the car which I parked on the opposite side of the road and Reynolds is behind me. We need to head back to the hospital and hopefully Ana is awake and well. I worry about her so much. We have been around each other for years now and there's always been a soft spot in my heart for her. If something is seriously wrong because I left her alone instead of protecting her I will never forgive myself and I don't think any of the Grey family will…I couldn't live like that….I wouldn't.

**Ana's POV: **

I don't know what the hell happened but one minute I was standing up and looking at Grace and then next minute it was black and I couldn't hear anything, except for buzzing in my ears. I can see some shadows as I must be lying down because they all seem taller than me. _Get Me Out Of Here!_ I yell over and over again, but nothing comes out, no one answers and now it's only silence. I can't feel anything, my heart seems empty and all I want is my family. My amazing husband and beautiful children, I escaped to get back to them and now I can't even do that. _You better not let me see you Mr Bradshaw…I won't be so nice next time._ My body is so numb and nothings moving, _Head? _Nope…_Arms?_ Nothing…_ Feet?_ Nada…_ Legs? _Not even close…_Eyes? Nothing but blackness…Mouth? _Ugh get me out of This, I want to see my babies, to hold them, tell them that I love them and that that I'm fine._ Help me Momma Grace, get me out of this hell and back to my heaven with you and your family_.

Oh I may have forgot to mention that over the years I have fallen out with my mom because she finally knew the truth about what happened with _husband number 3 _and she has stopped talking to me and I'll admit that it hurts but I'm slowly coming to terms with it but in actual fact I have become a lot closer to Grace. She knows everything, probably the year after I gave birth to Teddie her and I started talking a lot, mostly about Christian but at times we'd just wonder off and we got talking about me and my life and in all honesty it felt amazing to confide in someone about everything, I mean with Christian it's a bit harder because I never know how he's going to react to what I have to say.

Anyways back to the present, I am slowly starting to see more than just blackness and shadows and I can hear voices but only faintly, it seems like I've been out for hours but then again who can keep track when you can't see anything. Let's see if I can try this again _Head? _Nope…_Arms?_ Nothing…_ Feet?_ Nada…_ Legs? _Not even close…_Hands? _Yes I felt a tingle…_Eyes?_ Slightly more shapes…_Mouth?_ Not quite there yet.

Wait I can feel that…I would know that touch anywhere, that was my man kissing my hand with his incredibly soft lips, oh how I crave his touch, his lips, his hands…it feels like to long, when it was only this morning he was all over me, in our bed….then in the shower…then tried but failed in the kitchen when we were interrupted by our daughter freaking out about her history assignment and where she left it, of course it was on the dining table where they always left their homework.

"**Come here Diamond…"** Oh that voice, that sad, shaky voice…I've heard that before…when he thought something bad was happening or going to happen to me or our children.

"Momma gonna wake up soon?" I hear her little voice get closer and it breaks my heart, I can hear her sniffling…must be so scared…I don't think I've been in hospital since she was born.

"**Momma's going to be awake soon baby girl and then you can have cuddles…" **he told her as he cooed her trying to get her to calm down. When she cried, she really cried and it was scary how much I wished I could calm her, but she seems to be a Daddy's girl…and I am not complaining, but with the amount of times he goes away it can get pretty crazy.

"C…Christian…" I can barely get the word out my throat is so sore and dry. "W…Water…" I add as I finally manage to get my eyes completely open and the fuzziness fade. I see both my girls on their father's lap looking at me and Christian of course looks relieved…but I can't see Teddie, surely he would be here somewhere.

"MOMMA!" I hear a scream and then a giggle and little hands and feet crawling along my leg. Good the sensation is returning and I can feel the pull in my arm looking over seeing the IV I groan gently. I hate needles.

"**Careful baby girl…" **Fifty, Fifty, Fifty always the worry wart…outdated phrase I know but it kinda fits. I manage to move my arm slowly noticing the cast and kiss her head as she cuddles against me and I hold her close.

"I love you…" I murmur as I look at all these people that love me. It takes everything I have not to cry…I could have lost everything I loved, or they could have been in danger because of me. I have to stop being so selfish, my children and husband need me and I definitely know that I would be lost without them.

"**We love you too honey…it's about time you came back to us…" **he is pissed I can tell by his tone but his eyes give him away. **"You have had us all worried, lucky Mom was holding you when you collapsed…or it could have been a lot worse."** he added as I heard the door open and see Grace, then Teddie and lastly Taylor. Oh relief washes over me seeing my baby boy come through those doors.

"Well it's glad to see you awake sweetheart, how are you feeling?" Grace asked as she picked up my chart and then then looked at me smiling gently.

"Sore, Thirsty, Defeated, Dizzy…" I murmur as I close my eyes swallowing and then lean down slightly to kiss my baby girls head.

"Well the pain and dizziness will take time to disappear, You can have water but only in small amounts at the moment as your body crashed if you take too much you may bring it back up and I don't think you want that…and as for defeated…well that to in time will fade…Am I going to have to start making sure that I have a spare bed every day in case you decided to wonder off on your own?" she laughed slightly at the last comment as she checked my blood pressure, those machines are so uncomfortable and they hurt a little.

"_Here you go mommy…." _I look up and to my right seeing Phoebe standing next to the bed with a cup full of water and a straw. She has a kind heart but sometimes she can be like her father and yell and fight and stamp her feet. It's kind of funny when I think about it, a female version of Christian minus the horrible past that he had when he was little until her met Carrick and Grace.

I lean over and take a few little sips and then lean back against the bed. "Thank you sweetie…" I say smiling at her. I move my hand in Christians and I smile looking at him.

"Well the good news is you should be perfectly fine apart from you hand, that will take about three weeks to heal in the cast and then it can be removed and they can be taped for a further three weeks and all going well you should be able to use your hand to its full potential, however in the mean time I suggest you keep your hand from connecting with anyone's face or a wall depending on what you did to cause this damage to your hand.

Of course! They don't know what happened. Well I guess I have to tell them, now is probably better than later. I look over to see Teddie standing looking out the window and above him is the clock. Wow 6:00pm I must have been out for at least 3 hours.

"J….Jason can you take them…to get some food…and take Noah with you?" I ask as I move to sit up slightly. Noah is Grace's Personal Security and since both Grace and Christian are in here with me I don't see why we need them here.

"_Of course Mrs Grey…" _he has his moments but he can sometimes forget that Christian is okay with him calling me Ana now but I can understand in this sort of situation.

"_Come on Munchkin…let's go get some food..."_ he picked up Katarina much to her poutiness and held him against his hip as Teddie and Poppy followed, they are truly good children and have amazing qualities but the love they share for each other reminds me a lot of the love shared between Elliot, Christian and Mia.

Once they were gone I sighed and looked at both of them. "Please just hear me out, I can't take being yelled at by you Christian…and I know already that you are pissed and disappointed in me but I swear, from conversations that he and I had had over the phone he didn't seem like that much of a threat to me…"

"**But you always think that or say that…" **he started but I put my hand up to cut him off.

"For once, just listen to me before I kick you out of here and just talk to your Mom…" I look at him with the face I know that he can't stand, my stubborn one, where there is no emotion but anger and no way for him to push me down, other than when he seduces me and only at certain times does that work and of course we wouldn't try that in front of his Mom, he still finds it hard when we stay at his parents how and we have our morning wrestling matches I guess you call them. I think that it's cute that he's shy about it around his parents. Anyway back to the topic at hand.

"We were talking about his book, having lunch and it was going really well…and then I gave him an answer to a question that that he didn't like and then something snapped, don't ask me what because I have no idea how to understand the male mind…" I see Grace roll her eyes and I know that she knows what I'm talking about and Christian smirks because he knows that I've given up trying sometimes to understand how he thinks.

"…Anyway like I said something snapped and then he was on his feet getting in my personal space and threatening me about bad press for Grey Publishing and I told him that I told him that future encounters would be by email and phone and then he really pushed my buttons…" I look away from Grace to Christian.

"H…He said that if I didn't go with him….that something bad would happen to…P…Phoebe and Katarina…I…I couldn't let that happen…" I murmur quietly as my eyes close and tears start to fall, anyone who's a mother knows that you would die for you children and you would do anything to keep them from getting in trouble or anything bad happening to them.

"**Shh baby…it's okay…nothing is going to happen…go on baby…" **I break down more as I feel myself being lifted and placed back down into my husband's lap and warm strong arms and I finally feel safe…I feel at home here.

I wipe my eyes and nose on the backs of my hands and then look up at him. "I left with him and he put me in his car, but I wanted to run…I so wanted to but all I could see was Phoebe and Rina in my mind and I couldn't do that…I would never let anything happen to them. We headed back towards Grey Publishing and I couldn't help but smile to myself thinking that if I wanted to I could run to your office within minutes. When we got to his house…which if you ask me is a stupid thing to do...take me to his own house…he told me that I had to do everything he said or it wouldn't just be me that would be in his hands…" I stop to take deep breaths as I feel myself getting anxious again.

How am I supposed to tell him that I had to call someone else _baby_? How will he react? How do I tell him that he hit me? That It was Taylor I called and not him? How do I break the heart of someone I love more than my own life?

**A/N: **

****_**"Je deviens fou, je ne peux pas arrêter de penser à maman et puis je me suis posé des questions en classe que je ne pouvais pas répondre parce que je n'étais pas concentrée et j'ai failli me faire virer. Je veux savoir ce qui se passe ... J'espère qu'elle va bien"**_

**TRANSLATES to **

"**I'm going crazy, I can't stop thinking about Mom and then I got asked questions in class that I couldn't answer because I wasn't concentrating and I nearly got kicked out. I want to know what's going on...I hope she's okay" – Phoebe answering Theodore. **

"**Je ne serais jamais en colère contre vous pour faire virer si c'est parce que vous êtes inquiet au sujet de quelqu'un dans notre famille va bien?"**

**TRANSLATES to**

"**I would never be mad at you for getting kicked out if it's because you're worried about someone in our family okay?" – Christian talking to both of his children. **


	5. Chapter 5: Realisation Dawns

**A/N: Okay so because many of you have been getting on me about the whole 4****th**** of July, Summer Vacation no school thing. It is entirely my fault I did not know as I'm not from the States and I didn't realise it was Summer Vacation from the end of June, so I apologise to everybody who has been confused by that but as of now they are on Vacation to clear it all up. **

**I've also had questions about why Mr Bradshaw got told to leave the country rather than being arrested for kidnapping and the answer to that is this is my story and that's the way I wrote it and besides laws are different everywhere and you can't always be done for kidnapping unless the person has been missing for a certain amount of time so this is my interpretation. **

**I want to apologise for the long time between the update, I have had a lot of personal issues that have come to life after many years of pushing them back and have had a number of panic attacks and also illness, so that is why it has taken so long. Please don't be too hard on me if it doesn't make sense still getting back into the swing of writing and I promise to try and update more regularly. **

**I don't have any claim to the characters created by E.L James. Nor do I want to because they are amazing. **

**Enjoy and Review would love to hear your thoughts, well read them anyway.**

Much Love

**Xxx Aby **

**Graces POV:**

Oh my poor, sweet girl….she's all torn up already and from what I can tell this story is far from over. I'm glad she sent my Grandchildren out of the room, they don't need to hear this or see their mother this way, and they're all too young to have to worry about people that are so bad they would want to ruin other people's lives. Since the day she married my son she has become my second daughter, I of course am closer to her than Kate, but that I think is only because she has made a huge change to all our lives and especially in Christian. Kate has also seemed a little stuck up at times but I guess we can't blame her for the way that she was brought up and she makes Elliot happy and that's all that I care about.

"Do you want me to leave sweetheart, so you and Christian can talk this through together?" I ask as I don't want to feel like I'm intruding on something that could potentially be more for their ears and not mine.

"**No please stay Mom…if Ana doesn't want you here, I do…you know more about how this stuff can work out and I want to not keep things from you any more…"** My son who is holding his wife so close has finally told me everything that happened with my so called friend _Elena Lincoln_ who I have had a go at on numerous occasions when she tries to come anywhere near my family.

Of course it's hard to avoid someone who is part of your social circle but she is learning to keep her distance, I say learning because she thinks that in time I will get over it but that will never happen and she has another thing coming if she ever steps within 5 feet of me again.

"I don't mind if you stay, if you leave I'll just end up telling you later on…." Ana mumbles as she plays with her hands. I know that she's anxious because her heart beat has gotten slightly faster.

"Just take you time sweetie….you should be able to go home in a few hours once we've double checked everything and you've had something to eat….that goes for you too son…" I know that when Christian is worried he doesn't eat, well I have a news flash for him.

"You're not going to like what I have to say so can you please not start yelling at me here, especially in front of your Mom, it's embarrassing and I already know what you are going to say…" Ana looked at him as her eyes watered, I wasn't standing close but I could see the shimmer in her eyes and I had seem that look many times.

"**You have my word that I will not yell…I can't guarantee that that will be the case when we get home depending on what you tell me…" **Oh that boy has another thing coming if he thinks that he will get away with that, she's been through enough and clearly feels bad about what has happened, I love my son but sometimes I want to strangle him…but in the motherly way if you get what I mean.

I move around to the seat the Christian had vacated and sat down and I placed my hand over hers as I waited for her to start talking again. It can't be easy to explain something like this to someone who has never been on the other end of it but she has been through so much since she started dating my son and I am so proud of how much she has grown as a person but also how much she has taught me, especially about how to deal with my son…which I will have you know is not an easy thing to do and no matter how old he gets he will always be my solider who has come through the worst to become one of the richest men in Seattle and that's all a mother could appreciate, a caring, loving, helpful son.

**Christians POV:**

I watch my lovely strong beautiful wife sitting in my lap and she looks so broken, even more than after what happened with that Hyde fucker… it had to be the scariest day of my life, having to possible let go of my angel and my saviour because she might not have come out of the other side, but also to my baby boy, who I hadn't even met yet but knew that I wanted to be everything that I never had.

I look over to my mother as she took Ana's hand and I have to say that she has been my guardian angel and she saved me from the hell that I was in. I could never thank her enough and now she is hear again looking after her and she still loves me, even though because of who I am I put every one of them that love me with all their hearts in danger.

"**Go on baby please…tell us the rest of the story…then you don't have to think about this anymore…your home…your safe and everyone here loves you…especially me and our children…" **I whispered as I kissed her head and held her closer to me, where she was safe and warm and loved, nothing and no one could ever replace the love that she has given me and that I have given her, we share our love with our children but every time we touch it's like the first time, the electricity, the connection…it's still hard to believe that she wants to be with me…forever.

"W…Well like I was saying he threatened our daughters and I had no choice, I wouldn't be responsible for putting them in danger so I got in the car with him and he took me back to his house, past GEH and I thought that was pretty stupid of him considering it wouldn't take that long to get from his house to where you worked…" she murmured and I could see her staring down at our hands no wanting to make eye contact with me which I hated because I could always read her emotions better when she was looking at me but I wasn't going to push her to look at me. I just stroked her hand and rubbed her back with the other as she told me the story, that wasn't so bad but I knew that it must get worse considering that she has her hand in a cast.

"Anyway when I got to his house he told me that I had to learn where a woman's place was, that no woman should be in charge of businesses and that they didn't deserve to even be in the same place as men who worked hard for their money making it seem like us woman just get it handed to us and I couldn't help but want to have a go at him about it but I held my tongue because I knew that it could have gotten pretty bad for me if I didn't…" she took a deep breath as she tried to control the tears that I could hear coming as she talked about our daughters.

I would have been there if she had turned up at my office, I wouldn't have let her go, she would have been at my side the entire afternoon, like she will be for the rest of the night and all day tomorrow whether she likes it or not. I could have lost my heart today, without even knowing it and I would have never forgiven myself if I had caused my children to lose their mother.

"…He asked me to make him some snacks like I was his bitch and I got smart and told him to do it himself and then he slapped me on my cheek and told me that I had to treat him with respect and I had to call him _baby_ and it tore my heart in two having to do that…." She looked up at me when she said that and my heart just broke seeing her expression, I think that was the part that she had told me would upset me and she was right. The hell she should call him baby she's my baby and I'm hers. He's lucky that I wasn't there but if I ever see the guy well he better watch the hell out. Fifty doesn't play nice, especially when it comes to his family.

"**I can't believe that he would even think that he could…" **I was interrupted when my mother looked at me and shook her head.

"You said you wouldn't get angry, she said that she didn't want to do that and she was just trying to protect herself…by the way she said that when she had to say that word it tore her into pieces Christian, don't punish her for something that she had to do to keep her family and herself safe…" and that is why I love my mother, she has the knowledge that should sit on the shoulders of someone 10 times her senior but she can get through to me the way no one but Ana can and for that I am grateful.

I look down at my wife and I can't help but feel my heart break seeing her face as she cried silently. I moved my hands to stroke her cheeks. **"I'm sorry baby…I made you a promise and I will keep it…for now…" **I could do many things but holding onto my temper was hard, for so long I had an outlet and now even after the years we have been married it is still hard for me but I would not take it out on her here and if I did it wouldn't be because of her, it would be because of him and for that I would never be able to say sorry enough. I kissed her lips gently and stroked her cheek. **"Keep going baby…what happened after that?" **I asked her hoping that she would relax a bit because she was home…with my mother and I.

"After I made him the sandwich that he couldn't make for himself I got a glass of water and asked if he needed anything else and asked to go to the bathroom, he said I could and that was only because I wanted to get away from him. It gave me a chance to think and then when I heard a door shut I looked out and he was in the bedroom so I went back into the kitchen….he must have heard me open the bathroom door because he came out no long after I did and before he came around the corner I punched him in the nose and then kneed him in his groin and he fell…I guess that's how I did this…" she murmured holding her hand up slightly as she looked at me. She's always been my girl, the fighter, the rebellious one who always thought she could take on everything and not get a scratch. I smiled at her and she gave me a small one back.

"**That's my girl…" **I was so proud of her. She was the one person who thought she could take on the world and win, without getting a scratch on her and still be smiling, but I saw the hurt in her eyes, the reminder that she would have for at least the next three weeks about what she went through and that she wouldn't feel herself. She was the one person that I owed everything I have now too, she opened my heart, my eyes, my soul to my life and to my family again and I would never be able to thank her enough…I am waiting for her to finish because I get the feeling that there is still worse to come before she has finished telling this relived story…somehow I think that I won't like what I hear…

**Anastasia's POV:**

Well so far so good, I mean aside from his mother stepping in and telling him that he need to pull his head in but in a nice way I guess you could say, now comes the hard stuff, what he said to me, what I said to him, that I called Taylor instead of Christian…that I pretty much made it seem like I couldn't trust Christian and that I didn't love him which is entirely untrue…because I trusted him more than anything else in the world, well aside from my dad I suppose…and maybe Grace who is like a second Mom to me.

Well I guess it's now or never. "After I punched him and kneed him he fell and I gained a few minutes to ice my hand and figure out what to do…then he had the cheek to tell me that he would be watching both the girls and myself and said that he would teach them the right way to act and to treat a man…" I had to stop before I lost it again and I took a deep breath and ran my hand through my hair. "I mean grace you know what happens to a mother when it comes to their children…" I turned to her and saw her face and she looked sad. I squeezed her hand with my fingers as she was holding the one that was in the cast.

"Yes honey…I know more than anyone…" she chanced a look at Christian and I felt him bury his face in my hair knowing that he was embarrassed and ashamed because of what happened with Elena but Grace never blamed him, he wasn't stable even as a teenager and Elena took that and used it against him.

I turned my head and kissed his forehead gently. "Well I told him he made the wrong decision to threaten a mother lion about her cubs…" now I didn't have to be looking at his face to know that he was smiling a little. "…told him he was on the Grey _hit list_ so to speak, that he had no clue who he was messing with and that if he came within 1000 meters of me that it would be the last thing he did, even if you saw him…gave him a whole lot of instructions basically telling him to leave the state and then the country then I kicked him in the face again because he didn't seem to understand…" I looked out the window of the hospital and I felt tears slide down my face; this was going to be the sentence that killed me and made my heart stop and possibly shatter depending on his reaction.

"When he fell back down I went to my jacket and got out my phone turning it back on and pushed my speed dial…but it was Jason that I called…" I whispered the last part and I looked down, I knew that the screaming and yelling would come and I doubt that even Grace could calm him down…I was never going to live this down…not for a while anyway.

Before I knew what was happening I felt cold and alone, Grace must have been watching Christian because she let go of my hand and she was around the other side of the bed and Christian was pacing the room running his hands through his hair as I heard his breathing get louder.

"**I...We…You…" **Yip he was angry, I learnt this in the last 15 years, when he couldn't put a sentence together it was because his mind was going a mile a minute and he couldn't think clearly enough to form actual sentences and I would have to wait a few seconds before I really got the brunt of what was going through his head. I looked at Grace and she was standing between us, my guess was because she knew that his temper got out of control at times and even though we were in the hospital…this was her place of work and it would have been embarrassing if my family had gotten violent in the place where I worked.

"**I can't believe that you didn't call me! I'm your husband for crying out fucking loud, for better or worse remember! Why in the hell didn't you call me? I've been going crazy? I could have fired Luke today for leaving you alone? What if something had happened to you? Where would I have been?...Alone and having to explain to our children why you are so wreck less when it comes to your safety…" **I see him trying to keep his voice low but he's not succeeding. He was staring out the window his hands by his sides in fists and all I could do was keep my head down and watch the tears fall from my eyes onto the hospital sheet that I was sitting under.

"Christian please don't talk to her like that, she was probably doing what she thought was best have you even asked her what was going through her head when she made that call?" I love Grace but she gives me more credit than I deserve, I think more of that is because I brought Christian back to them, gave them the son that they had lost at 15 and shown him the way back home.

"**Stay out of this Mom, this is between Ana and I, she has no idea how hard it is to be who I am and always be concerned about her…" ** he was calm talking to her, well as calm as I think he could be at this moment but then I heard him walk to the end of my bed.

I couldn't look him in the eyes, "**YOU NEED TO UNDERSTAND AND KNOW THAT YOU AREN'T INVINCIBLE, THAAT IT's NOT THE SAME AS WHAT HAPPENED WITH HYDE. YOU HAVE MORE TO LOSE NOW AND THERE'S MORE PEOPLE WHO WILL LOSE YOU, WHEN ARE YOU GOING TO GET THAT INTO YOUR HEAD? YOU HAVE 2 TEENAGE CHILDREN AND A LITTLE GIRL WHO ADORES THE HELL OUT OF YOU, I'VE BEEN IN THE POSITION WHERE I LOST MY MOM AT A YOUNG AGE AND I SWWORE WHEN WE FIRST GOT PREGNANT THAT I WOULD DO EVERYTHING TO KEEP THAT FROM HAPPENING TO THEM!" **he was full on yelling and my heart felt like it was shattering right in front of me, like I could see it being smashed into pieces, and I could tell from the monitors that it wasn't good.

"CHRISTIAN, she doesn't need this right now and I think that you need to calm down or I will have to throw you out…" Grace was turning the monitors down as I looked to the side seeing how bad it was and she was staring at him. "…This is not the time or the place for this discussion….and I mean DISCUSSION…" she was getting angry at him and I just wanted to disappear into a hole. I was causing all of this.

I heard him sigh angrily and felt like he was trying to bore a hole in me, I could feel his grey eyes on me and I was to chicken shit to look up at him. **"Don't worry, I'm leaving and I'm taking our children home and putting them to bed because they need to be anywhere but here…" **with that he walked out of the room and started to cry hard then as I pulled the blanket close to me and pulled my knees up wrapping my arms around them and cried. I got no goodbye, no I love you, no I'll come back and get you he just left…this time I think I may have broken him more than I have realised…this situation maybe one that will never be fixed…he was right and I know that but I hate how he thinks that I need to be babysat I mean I'm a CEO and a woman who is a lot stronger than I was when the whole Hyde thing happened.

I felt arms around me and I just cried louder, my husband left, my children would be leaving and I don't even know if I will be going home to my house tonight…I don't think it would be a good idea, not in front of the children, I won't subject them to us fighting…I couldn't but I don't know if I will be sleeping in my own bed tonight…

**Phoebe's POV:**

I am so glad that my Mom is awake and that she is okay for the most part. I may seem like this emotional girl to everyone close to me but I am smarter and more alert than people give me credit for…I have overheard Uncle Jason and Daddy talking about some guy named Hyde a few times and that when Mom was pregnant with Teddy something happened but I never really thought any more about it.

I could tell by the look on Mom's face when she asked Uncle Jason to take us to get some food that she was upset and scared, they say that sometimes mothers and daughters have stronger connections, mainly from being in the womb but with us, it was like we were emotionally connected. I was upset for her; I was so scared for her when Daddy didn't know where she was. I try to act like everything is okay but it's not.

"_Poppy you need to eat you know what your father is like about food….and your brother…" _ I was sitting in the cafeteria with my brother, sister and Nana Grace's Security Guard and Jason, he was so nice to us, treated us like family. I wasn't as hungry as Teddie was and Rina is too young to understand what has happened today but I just couldn't find the willpower to eat.

I'd been pushing my food around my plate for the last half hour or so, I wasn't really paying attention. Teddie has been talking to Uncle Jason about school and Jackson who is the cutest kid I have ever seen apart from Katarina of course. I was paying attention every now and then but I just wanted to go home and spend time with Mom, make sure that she was okay and then go to bed.

"Sorry, I'm just not that hungry, maybe I'll eat later…please don't tell Daddy…I don't want him to be mad at me…" I whispered as I looked up at him and smiled slightly. To be honest I was emotionally drained, I've been trying not to cry but I don't want to lose anyone in my family at such a young age…I don't think that I would ever survive that, even though I am a Daddy's girl, I love my Mother just as much and at times I just want to be that little girl again that could sit on her lap and fall asleep and she'd be rubbing my back and kissing my head telling me how much she loves me.

"_Everything is going to be okay, you know that right? Your Mom is an amazing woman and your Nana is making sure that everything is okay…" _he has always been a fan of Mom and I can see why, she is always nice, happy and loving, well from what I can tell when I'm with her. _"I'm sure that you will all be able to go home soon, then tomorrow we can all enjoy the 4__th__ of July at your Nana's and the food and the fireworks…it will be fun…" _ now that is one thing that he can always do, especially when I was upset and Mom and Daddy were busy, he could always make me smile by pulling funny faces and talking about things that I liked and I would hug him and he almost feels like a second Dad to me, not that I would ever say that. I have the best Dad that anyone could ask for, he only wants what is best for us and loves us unconditionally, and even when he is angry he seems to be calm towards us.

I looked up when I heard Katarina start to cry, she was sitting to my right and I reached over and pulled her into my lap kissing her head. Even though she had slept upstairs she was so tired, it was getting close to 9pm and Mom and Dad must still be talking in her room. I rocked her in my arms kissing her head, rubbing her back like Mom and Dad both did to me when I was upset. I loved my brother and sister and I would always be here for them, even if Teddie didn't want me to be because I was younger than him, we've always been close though and for that I am grateful, school is easier because I know that he's there for me if I'm getting picked on which happens frequently because of who my parents are, I know it's because they are jealous but it still hurts.

I close my eyes and rest my head against hers and start humming the lullaby that Daddy wrote for her, which I could play and she loved to listen to us play music. In all honesty I was ready to get up and ask Uncle Jason if we could leave because I hated hospitals, always have and probably always will…but I didn't need to do that because I saw Noah stand before I even heard him come in I knew that Daddy had entered the room.

"**Come on we're going home now, Taylor call Sawyer and tell him to come here to the hospital to look after Ana and Shaw you can go back up to my Mother now…Come on Girls, Teddie it's time to get you home to bed…" **I could tell by his face and his tone, not to mention the formalities that Daddy was angry. I didn't want to go home without Mommy but I knew that I didn't want to argue with him when he was like this, because it just made everything worse.

I stood up and grabbed both our jackets and started to walk towards the door as I held Rina against me, she was starting to get grizzly and I knew it was because she could sense Daddy's anger. "Shh I got you…we're going to go home and I'm going to put you to bed and read you a story…" if there was one thing that calmed her down it was when she was being sung or read to.

"Dad when is Mom coming home, I thought that Nana said she could go home tonight?" I could hear Teddie talking to Dad as we walked out to the front of the Hospital and Uncle Jason was on the phone just behind them talking to Luke.

"**Well Mom isn't quite ready to come home yet and I need to make sure that you and your sisters get a goodnight sleep because tomorrow is going to be a big day…" **he said as he put his arm around my shoulders. If there was one thing I knew was that if she was with Nana, Mom would be fine but I doubt I will be getting much sleep tonight…if any.

**Taylors POV: **

Well I'm guessing that the conversation Ana and Christian had didn't go to well, he was tense and his hair was ruffled like he'd had his hands in it the whole time and he looked torn. I've seen him like this on a personal level on about 2 occasions, one being when that bitch Elena refused to leave him and the second being when he thought that Ana and Teddie was dying after what happened with that Hyde fucker but this is different… it was like he was broken on the inside and it was moving its way to the outside. I have a feeling it's because Ana was telling him what happened and that she called me instead of him.

I followed Christian and the children out of the cafeteria and down the corridors out towards the front doors, while he was talking to the children I made the call to Luke to explain that he needs to come back to the hospital and find out if he had dealt with this Bradshaw idiot. I thought that I would only have to deal with idiots when I was in the army and not now but seems like they seem to be growing on trees, especially in this neighbourhood.

"_Hey T…what's up? I have dealt with this moron and he should be out of the state by midnight and the country by tomorrow if he knows what's good for him…and I've warned him otherwise if he isn't…maybe we should get Welch to keep tabs on his activities…at least for a little while. It might give Ana a piece of mind…" _now this is why I put him on my security detail, he always was one step ahead of others that worked for Grey but he has grown quite attached to Ana and he knows in some ways how she thinks.

"_Yeah I'll think about that….now that you have dealt with that situation, Grey would like you here at the hospital to keep an eye on Ana it looks like she may be here over night and he wants to take the children home. Noah is here as well so you won't be bored out of your mind…" _ I'll give him the credit, he has to be on his guard all the time with her and it can't be that easy but I respect him for it.

"_Well sure I can do that….I mean it is my job but I thought that she would be able to go home tonight…I mean it wasn't as bad as when that Hyde dude had a go at her was it?, I'll be there in 10 in the meantime have Noah close by until I get there…" _I hung up and walked out in front of them and brought the car around. I think that this is going to be a long night…not just for me…but for Christian as well.

"**Taylor…when we get back can you meet me in my office I would like to talk to you…" **from the way he said that, this talk was not going to be a nice one…I am expecting a few choice words and a hammering for not telling him where I was going.

It has become so much easier to know when to talk and when not to…this was one of those ones when I just nodded and kept driving looking out the window on the way back to our houses. I so hope that Gail will be okay with me being late to bed, I had promised her a movie night but with what happened with Ana, that hasn't happened and I hope that Jackson has been okay for her today.

He's been misbehaving at school and I think it's because he gets treated differently to everyone else in his class…at times he's had to be sent to the principal's office because he has gotten into a fight, mainly defending his extended family…_the Grey's._ The maybe only 7 and 8 years old but when your father is security for the wealthiest couple in Seattle it kind of makes you a target without even being in the spotlight.

I'm trusting that he's been good as I haven't heard from her, not that that's unusual she doesn't like to bother me when I'm at work…but these days there doesn't seem to be a day when I'm not working. I love my job and there is nothing that I would change about it, I work for an amazing family, I have everything I could ever need, a wife, son and daughter who love me, an employer who makes sure that we have everything, our own private little house on the most beautiful property with a beautiful view of the ocean.

I looked in the rear view mirror and I saw a very rare sight, Teddie was looking out the window, Christian was staring at his blackberry and Phoebe was sitting staring down at Katarina who had fallen asleep in her arms and it was quiet, to quiet. They are normally talking to each other and laughing, talking about their day or plans for the next weekend or family trip. I guess with Christian's attitude and with what happened with Ana they are all just tired and emotionally drained. I don't blame the children for that but surely Christian didn't want them to see him so mad at their Mother but I know my place and it wasn't to point out what I saw.

I pulled up at the gate and put in the security code to open the gates and turn of the alarms, my family and the children's security would be in the staff quarters but seeing as no one from the Grey family was at home I knew that only Queens and Kirkwood would be awake watching the cameras. I pulled into the garage and turned the car off.

They all got out not saying a word and walked into the house. All I heard was "Goodnight Dad…" and footsteps on the stairs. I had to check on the security and then I would go and face the music that would come from the man I have known for well over 20 years now. Somehow I knew that even if he tried to have a go at me, I could see this from Anastasia's view and she made the call that was best for her at the time and if he couldn't get over this than he hasn't come as far as I thought that he would have by now.

I walked into his office and he was having a sip of bourbon looking out at the ocean and I cleared my throat making my presence known. He turned to face me and the angry was so prominent on his face. **"Please close the door Taylor…" **he walked towards his desk and placed his glass down, my guess is hopefully so that he wouldn't lobby it at my head.

"**Would you care to explain to me why I was the last to know that Ana had been found? And why she would call my Security instead of me? You know her husband…" **okay this was a good start…he wasn't yelling at me which was good but it was also bad, I've seen this act one to many times, he starts out calm, asking questions, getting answers and then if he hears something he doesn't like he loses it…so I guess I was going to have to step lightly on this subject and hope that he won't take it too far.

Oh well I guess it's now or never….personally I would prefer never but I guess that wouldn't happen. _"Look Chris…Sir, I had no clue until I answered that she hadn't contacted you, I asked her the same question that you just asked me, she didn't ring you or even Luke because she knew that you would both give her and earful and she didn't seem to be in the right headspace for that and I can understand to a degree, because you can get pretty agitated and unpredictable when you are angry…" _I held my ground and kept my eyes on him, I could read him and he knows it.

"**DON'T you even try and tell me how I should handle this situation with my WIFE…" **he was getting angrier and he had grabbed the back of his chair with one hand and the other was going through his hair. **"You have no idea what it's like to be in my position; you have no idea what I would give…" **I stepped forward and he stopped talking as my eyes narrowed.

"_Don't you even try and pull that shit with me…I have been with you from the very beginning and you can't throw all of that I'm the Christian Grey on me…EVERYTHING has changed since you met Ana, you go out more, you have children and both Gail and I are more known now and we have Jackson so DON'T YOU DARE TRY AND TELL ME THAT I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT IT'S LIKE!...You need to stop and just fucken listen to me…you want to know what's happening but I'm not going to sit here and have you tell me how much I have no clue…" _it makes me entirely furious when he tries this shit, I've been working for him for years, I know everything that has happened and that could happen but I would do everything to protect everybody that I care about.

"_Now as I was saying…she didn't want to call you because she needed someone who was going to listen and not start in on her, you know she didn't call Luke either and you know how close they are…" _I pointed that out mainly to hope that he would understand that he wasn't the only one that was possibly mad at her tonight.

"_She didn't want to bother anyone and to be honest, I think that if you had seen her in the state that she was in you would have lost it and it would have been bad for all of us…I picked her up, took her to the hospital and then she collapsed in your mother's arms, she was crying and silent the whole way, she never said one word." _ I saw his face drop then and he ran his hands through his hair. It's an odd day when she doesn't talk, the house has always been bustling and chatty since she came into our lives and it's an extremely _weird _day when it's not like that_. _

"**So your saying that what happened, it affected her in some way, that she wasn't herself…not that I could blame her after that…I just…it hurts to think that she doesn't want me in her time off need…that she could so easily ring someone else over me…it tears my heart into pieces." ** I could tell he was struggling but it makes sense to me.

I stepped closer to him and sighed gently _"Look I'm not trying to make excuses for her Christian…but I think she just wanted to have the chance to clear her head a little before you talked to her…she looked terrified and completely out of it when I picked her up…if it was Gail I would feel exactly the same as you…just think about it and have a talk to her...I don't know what she has told you but given the fact that you are here and not at the hospital like you were with Hyde I'm assuming that it didn't go well…" _I see him tense at the mention of that name but I'm trying to prove my point to him.

He was shaking his head when my phone rang and I grabbed it out of my pocket. _"T….Angel is free to go home….Grace said that because of what happened here that she should stay with her and Carrick tonight…she hasn't said anything since he left and Grace is slightly worried so she though that it would be best to keep her close…" _Luke's voice came across as pained and I couldn't help but feel sorry for her.

"_Okay well stay with her if you can and keep me in contact if anything happens and I'll pass on the information to the Boss…Thank you for dealing with the situation as well, you truly are the best employee that we could have…" _ I don't normal prise my staff but I think he deserved the credit; he has been one of the longest security members we have ever had. I hung up and tapped my phone in my hand as I looked towards him.

"_Uh that was Sawyer he said that Anastasia is free to go home but your mother suggested that Ana stay with her and Carrick tonight based on your conversation I'm assuming and the fact that she hasn't said a word since you left…" _I watched his face and I could see mixed emotions playing both on his face and through his eyes. He had become easier to read since being with Ana and having their children. There was concern, hurt, anger, loss and the most uncommon one to him was compassion…now my time in the military taught me a lot and one thing I learnt was how to read emotions, not always well and accurate but some were very easy to identify from others.

"**Y…yes….well okay that will be all for tonight Jason…please pass on my apologies to Gail about you being so late back…" **he wasn't handling that news very well I could tell he was choked up. **"Also in future if my wife calls you and I have no clue what is happening…let it be you who tells me in person or I may not be so hospitable next time…" **that in his language means there is a good chance that I could lose my job…but I think that Ana would talk him round, there have been many occasions when we have had conversations like this one…every one ends the same and I think that's because Ana….from day one….has had him wrapped around her little finger and there was no sign of that changing anytime soon….at least I hoped not.

"_Yes I will and Goodnight…try and get some sleep tonight…I will keep you updated if anything happens…" _With that I turned and headed out of his office and out the back door to my home where my Wife and son were…one asleep and one awake hopefully…although it is nearly twelve in the morning.

**Graces POV: **

It's been a long day and an even longer last four hours, Christian left over 2 and half hours ago and my daughter-in-law has done nothing but cry on and off since then. She won't talk and the most she'll do is nod her head yes or no. I'm really worried that Christian may have screwed things up here, I mean I love my son and would be on his side any day but the way he talked to her today, I could have throttled him…now I'm not a violent person or a mother who would do that but the thought did cross my mind.

Ana and I are on the way back to Bellevue with Noah driving us, she has fallen asleep with her head on my lap but it's not a peaceful one as she is sniffling and talking in her sleep, more like screaming and crying but I have been through this many years ago with Christian after those precious years he suffered through. One person who could cause so much pain to such a precious and beautiful boy, it's amazing that one person who looks so much like his biological mother could be the person to bring him out the other side…but now cause her so much pain, granted she is to blame for some of it but I think it's mainly because she didn't want to cause him anymore stress and wanted to make sure that she could handle what was coming her way…which from how she is now, I am one hundred percent sure she was not ready for it and I am very scared that she is slipping into depression and I would never imagine her being depressed she's always so talkative and bright and smiling.

When Noah pulled up to the house Carrick was waiting for me like always with a cup of Herbal Green Tea that helped calm me down after a long day at work and I have to say it is one of the many things that I love about my husband. I had to wake Ana up Carrick helped her out first and then me and we both walked inside under his arms. He is the sweetest man I could have ever met and he has always thought of Ana as his daughter as have I and neither of us can stand it when Christian treats her badly.

"**Ana honey…I'm pleased to have you stay with us I just wish it was under different circumstances and that it was with our grandchildren and son but all the same…I have made sure that Christian's old room has everything you need for tonight…is that okay with you?" **Carrick told her and she just nodded her head and then looked at me smiling slightly and headed for the stairs. I guess that was her way of saying goodnight…I have never seen her like this before…I'm tempted to ring my son and rip him one but it's late and he has the children to take care of so I guess we'll have to see what happens tomorrow.

Thankfully that has all been sorted, the caterers will be her in the morning to set all the food up and Carrick had Elliot and Ethan out here today to set the fireworks up on the water for tomorrow night. Although I'm not sure how well this is going to go. One son isn't talking to his wife….the other is having problems with his children and my daughter…well they are trying for a family not that anyone else knows that yet…the only reason I know is because Mia came to me worried that she might not be able to get pregnant.

"What are we going to do? Maybe I should just cancel the 4th of July party this year, after what happened with Ana, and now Christian…maybe it would be the best thing to do…" I said to Cary as we walked through into the living room where I sat down on the sofa kicking off my shoes and pulling my hair out of the ponytail it was in from work. I heard him sigh as he sat down and he placed his arm around my shoulders.

"**You can't do that…every one of our grandchildren and family look forward to this party…it's a big American history moment and we can't just cancel it…besides who knows maybe this party will bring them together and they will be okay tomorrow…Why don't we just sleep on it tonight and if it doesn't work itself out then we'll look at a Plan B okay baby?" **That's my husband, always knows the right thing to say to calm me down and make me smile. I sip my tea and close my eyes.

"I hope that you're right honey because I can't stand to see her this way…it's like she has been replaced by a zombie or something" I laughed hearing myself say that but it's true, that woman that is upstairs is not the sweet, caring, loving woman that fell in love with my son, turned his life around and gave me my first Grandchild. "There has to be a way to bring her back to where she is communicating with us again…she seems like a child who hasn't developed in her speech at all and it makes me want to cry and just hold her…" I finished my tea and shook my head.

"I might have a bath and then go to bed…do you mind keeping an ear out in case Ana needs something or is crying…I really wish that Christian was here to keep an eye on her…I have a feeling that I won't be getting much sleep tonight…" I headed up the stairs and into the bathroom and started to run the taps. I think a warm bath with candles and bubbles is just what I need after today…and I hope to God that tomorrow is a better day.

**Anas POV:**

Well conversation with my husband went as well as I expected, I don't know why I thought that he would be okay with me ringing Jason and disregarding my security. He doesn't understand that I realise how bad today could of gone, what could have happened to me…that I just wanted to be at home with him, in his arms, him kissing me and telling me that I would be okay...right now everything is not okay…I miss my children, my husband, my bed, my house…everything that comforts me, the only thing I have at the moment is the t shirt that I pulled out of the drawers in his old room and slid it on and then climbed into the double bed pulling the pillow that he used close to me resting my head on it holding it tight as silent tears fell from my eyes.

I can handle him giving me the silent treatment but he walked out of the hospital room and then out of the hospital when he said that he would stay with me…he never use to break his promises but I'm starting to think that he's had enough of me…I know I shouldn't say that but it's how I'm starting to feel and with having three children it's hard between us both working and trying to spend enough time with them it can get a bit much.

I stare at the ceiling and I can see his face clear as day in my mind and how angry he was at me. I was just trying to explain myself but it set him off and I don't think that I can do anything to get him back on side with me which is tearing me apart and I just want us to be back together with our children. God what they must think of me…have I gone and ruined all of the relationships I have with my immediate family? Well my little girl won't because she's too young to understand but Phoebe and Teddie must think that I'm so stupid. With all the things we try and instil in them is that they have to be responsible with all aspects of their life and here I was doing the opposite.

I get out of bed and look out the window, Grace and Carrick went to bed a while ago. I know this because they were outside the door whispering to each other and the fact that I was quiet made Grace feel a little better, I wish I could say the same for me. I stare out the window down towards the docks that ran along the back of the Grey property and all I wanted was to go out and sit down by the water and hope that it gives me some piece. I remember the first time Christian took me out on a boat, it was peaceful and beautiful and somewhat not G rated but for a long time I felt like I was stuck in a world where there was no escape from life except in the English Literature that I read doing my degree and now I find my escape on or near water and with my family.

I am probably going to get another good yelling at but I can't stay here, in this room where everything just screams Christian…I feel like I'm suffocating and I need some air. I go back to the drawers and pull on some sweatpants and then my shoes and slowly open the door and descend the stairs and walk out of the front door across the yard and down onto the dock towards the water edge. I don't think that it's a big deal I mean it's around 2:30am and I can't see anybody around but then again that doesn't mean anything…does it? I mean paparazzi have been known to be sneaky and annoying assholes.

Sitting down on the pier I remove my shoes and roll up the sweatpants and dangle my feet in the water and sigh softly as I close my eyes and start to feel weight being lifted off me as I feel my anxious nerves roll out with the tide and oxygen come back to allow me to breathe again. My eyes are so sore and I have a headache from crying and I know that I'm puffy and so unattractive, it's possibly a good thing I'm not home, I would scare my children and my husband wouldn't look at me.

I lie back on the pier and look up at the stars I move my feet slowly through the water. I wonder what some people would think if they were up there looking down on me.

"_She must be crazy…." _

"_It's so cold and isn't wearing much that will keep her warm…" _

"_She will catch pneumonia if she isn't careful…she should be in bed tucked up nice and warm…" _

I can hear them all telling me this but yet here I am, feet in the water, cold breeze on my face and clouds rolling over looking like rain…maybe this is what I need to be drenched and drowned in tears from the sky to make me feel like I actually belong here. All of a sudden I wish I could just sink into a hole and never come out but then nothing that I have achieved will had ever happened I wouldn't have 3 amazing children, a husband, a loving family surrounding me, a beautiful home on the water front, extended 'Family' so to speak with security and Gail…and more money than I could have ever imagined not to mention being the CEO of Seattle's now biggest Publishing company…when I think about it like that I feel somewhat overwhelmed and can feel fresh tears threatening.

I close my eyes and try to calm my heart by humming lightly, it always seemed to help considering I um the lullaby that Christian wrote about me…it makes me smile just remembering that moment when his mother hugged me and was crying when he started to sing, she was so proud and overwhelmed at the same time and I really couldn't understand what I had to do with it, I was just a 'normal' woman so to speak who had never really felt beautiful and wanted by anyone and yet he was falling head over heels to keep me around, once I realised how much I needed him, I slowly started to see it but it became so clear the day we married, the vows he said the way he looked at me his ear to ear smile, I could have fainted but that will be one to reminisce about another day as thinking about it just made me more pissed at him for how he treated me.

I feel small drips against my face and smile as I open my eyes as I see the raindrops fall through the sky by the light of the moon reflecting off the water making the sky look grey rather than black. I sit up and close my eyes again as I lean my head back letting them hit my face cooling it down and making me feel better. It started to get harder and I grabbed my shoes and walked back up the dock towards the boathouse, I didn't feel like going back inside the house and at least there is a small veranda on there that I can sit under and still have the coldness on my feet and face.

As I watched the rain hit the water I couldn't help but have one of my favourite songs running through my head...I guess it's somewhat appropriate but it still makes me feel torn…why did this fucker have to come into my life now and screw it all up again. I thought that I had gotten over all this stuff when Hyde got put away but I guess I just suppressed all the emotions and now they're showing their ugly heads tonight well this morning I guess I should say now considering it's nearly 4am and I am nowhere near tired…well emotionally yes and mentally maybe a little but physically I feel like working out with Claude but I know that I would only last probably half an hour before I collapsed from exhaustion.

…_Don't just say, goodbye_

_Don't just say, goodbye_

_I'll pick up these broken pieces 'til I'm bleeding_

_If that'll make it right_

_Cause there'll be no sunlight_

_If I lose you, baby_

_There'll be no clear skies_

_If I lose you, baby_

_Just like the clouds_

_My eyes will do the same, if you walk away_

_Every day it will rain, rain, rain..._

I guess in some way it fits he did walk away from me…and I don't know if I can fix this but If I can't I have to try and get along with him for the sake of our children. I don't want to have to say goodbye to him forever but he's been through so much in his life and I have made that even more difficult because of my independent tendencies but I have gotten better I just wanted to do what was right for my baby but I guess I should have understood why he is so hell bent on my safety, I owe him everything and I can't even take responsibility for them.

I sigh and run my hands through my hair as I stand up and walk into the boat house and close the door. I slowly walk up the stairs as I remember my first time in here, it was incredible and so totally Christian…and then there was his proposal I felt like I was going to faint, it was more perfect then I could have ever imagined and the flowers were a little over the top but I understood the sentiment.

"**I'm not really a hearts and flowers kind of person…" **well that was the truth when he first met me but every Valentine's Day I would get roses and heart shaped chocolates, when he works late he stops by and gets me some flowers and still to this day he surprises me with gifts every now and then. That day seems so long ago and I love what we have now…but a part of me wonders what it would have been like if I wasn't so innocent when I met him, you know the whole virgin thing…but I guess I can't keep thinking about that.

I take off the sweatpants and climb onto the bed that is in there and look out the window above the bed and still look at the stars and see the rain hit the window, I turn my body on the side and put my hands under my head…I really miss our bedroom, we normally sleep with the windows open even on rainy nights as Christian knows that I love the water and it calms me…but tonight it just makes me miss his warmth, his breath, his touch…I miss him…I realise now that that is what hurts me…the second that hospital room door shut I missed him, I miss him every day when we're both at work and I miss him even more when he's away on his business trips but I would never stop him going…he loves his jobs, it's who he is and occasionally we go with him, normally when Poppy and Teddie are on Christmas Break or if he's going away on their birthdays, he hates to miss those.

I must have fallen asleep because the rain has faded and everything has turned black with the hint of dreaming and I can see it, his perfect face, his smile, his abs, his shoulders, that V…oh I know why this is the dream that I have chosen….the boathouse the memories…I so hope that we can resolve this…Will he forgive me? That's the big question…I guess only time will tell

**A/N: Sorry that it has taken so long to get this chapter up, just a whole lot of personal stuff has happened but I won't get into that. Please review or not…I apologise if I have repeated myself a lot.**

I am also starting up a Pinterst page at pinterest dot com/ hfanfiction / fifty-shades-of-forever-after/…just take out the spaces and replace the dot with a . 

**I also have a facebook page that I set up just for this story and any other that I decide to write which you can add me on at facebook dot com/ HiddenInMySoulFanFiction…same applies to this one take out the spaces and replace the dot with a . **

**Much Love, **

**Xxx Aby **


	6. Chapter 6: Mending Broken Hearts

**A/N: I wanted to start by saying that the song in the previous chapter was It Will Rain by Bruno Mars, I don't think that I mentioned that anywhere so I wanted to let you know. Although I know that most of you probably figured that out because you are all smart and clever people. **

**Thank you for all your kind reviews. I'm glad that you like my story and I hope that you continue to read as well as new comers. **

**chrisana143 - I will do my best to update regularly and I hope that this one hasn't been too long for you. **

**drea55 - I feel sorry for her to and I guess we'll have to wait and see what's up with him. **

**jtracey - thank you for explaining the whole school breaks things to me and I will do some more research next time. **

**Mama51598 – Thank you for your kind words and I hope that this update hasn't been to long for you either. **

**To the guest reviewer who left a review I can see to a certain degree where you're coming from. **

**Thank you all so much for your support and I will continue to write because it's what I love. **

**I don't have any claim to the characters created by E.L James. Nor do I want to because they are amazing. **

**Enjoy and Review would love to hear your thoughts, well read them anyway.**

Much Love

**Xxx Aby **

**Carrick's POV: **

It's now 6:30am and today is our annual 4th of July family get together and the caters are arriving at 8am and the children and grandchildren should start arriving a little after 9, that's if they are on time but with Elliot and Kate having our twin grandchildren I expect them to be a little late and I still don't know if Christian will even show up, I'm really worried about him and Ana. Seeing how she was last night broke my heart, I just wanted to hold her, like I would Mia when she was upset and just wanted her father's hugs.

Ray isn't coming today because he has plans with Jose and Jose's father, Gracie's parents will arrive around 10:30am after they have had their breakfast at the club that Theo organises every year for his wife. I have to say that last night it took a while for Grace to go to sleep she was crying about Ana and Christian and took me holding her and telling her that they would work things out before she started to slowly drift off to sleep in my arms.

I walk back upstairs with a cup of coffee for my amazing wife and place it on her bedside table. **"Good morning my beautiful lady…Greta is working on breakfast and I will run you a bath…" ** I whisper to her kissing her head.

"Mm, thank you baby…" she said sleepily as she rolled over. "Can you check on Ana for me?" She added as she rubbed her eyes.

"**That was my next stop…there's no rush for you to be ready…you have plenty of time…" **I murmured to her before heading into our en suite turning on the taps and putting some jasmine bath oil in the water. I think after yesterday she deserves to relax a little this morning before she becomes crazy organiser woman with the catering making sure that everything is in order and nothing is missing not to mention setting up the treasure hunt for the younger ones to keep them occupied for a little while.

I smile back at her as I walked back into the room seeing her drinking the coffee and then walked down the hall towards Christian's old room. **"Ana…Ana sweetie are you okay?" **I ask knocking on the door. I wait for a while and get no answer and then knock again. **"Ana? Anastasia?" **I wait 5 more minutes and then I open the door and see that she isn't there, that's strange…the bed looks like it's been slept in but I haven't seen her the this morning and I didn't expect her to be up early after yesterday's events.

I walked down the hall and checked the other rooms, the family room, my office, the study, the kitchen, the back yard and I couldn't find her anywhere…I'm starting to worry about her, surely she wouldn't have gotten very far, she looked very tired and worn out to go anywhere. When I went back inside I checked the bathrooms and then found Greta **"Have you seen Ana at all this morning?" **I ask as I finish my coffee.

_"No sorry I haven't…I thought that she was still asleep her door was closed when I got up this morning…" _ she said as she looked at me and then back to the tray that she was getting ready to take up to Grace.

"**Do me a favour and don't say anything to Grace, she has enough to worry about today…have you seen Luke, Noah or David?" **I guess it was time to get them in on this…Luke would be unhappy if I didn't and know doubt Taylor would give him an earful because I hadn't told him that we couldn't find her.

"_They were out the front running with a ball the last time I saw them…guess taking the time to enjoy a day that we all look forward too, of course I'm always happy to prepare breakfast for Grace on tough days like this…" _Greta has always been polite and friendly towards my wife and I, but I have a feeling her attitude towards Ana leaves something to be desired, especially considering her reaction when they got engaged. But I think that is why Ana tries to stay out of her way so she doesn't get the attitude.

"**Okay thanks Greta…oh and she may still be in the bath when you go up so just make sure that she is okay…" **I say to her as I walk down to the foyer and out the front door.

"**Good morning gentleman…" **I call above their yelling and laughing as I walk closer to them and lean against one of the poles that they've put up as their try line.

"_Good morning Carrick, is everything alright?" _ Luke asks as he comes over to me. Now normally when they are on duty its Mr Grey but on their days off I allow them to use my first name, plus over the years it's become common place now for it to happen.

"**Actually I'm not sure..." **I say as I see the Noah and David come over **"I can't seem to find Ana around anywhere and I'm not sure if the bed was slept in but she may have laid down on it for a few minutes, after yesterday am a little concerned about her…I think that you should contact Jason and let him know what's going on the last thing we need is another reason for Christian to have a go at someone…" **I'm still angry at him about that, having a go at Ana in front of his mother while all she was trying to do was explain.

"Have you checked everywhere?" Noah asked me and I shook my head.

"**I've checked the house in its entirety and the backyard but I've had no luck…I don't think she would have been outside because it was raining last night…but I could be wrong." **I had never thought that she may have gone further out.

"Well I'll take the Dock and that area while you guys figure out where else to send someone…" Noah started to walk towards the docks as David and I talk among ourselves as Luke is on the phone, now I have pretty good hearing for an old man so even though he is having a hushed conversation and I can catch his end of it.

"_No T, she's not in the house, his father has looked everywhere and can't find her…he's really worried because she was so catatonic last night that she barely said a word to anyone, we're worried she could be anywhere…" _he clearly had thought more about this than I had, I would never have said she was catatonic but I guess in a way she was, she was home but it was like there weren't any lights on.

"_What? Okay I'll tell him but I doubt that he will be able to talk any sense into him when he's like this…" _ Luke turned around then and he walked back over to me. _"Jason said that Christian ran out of the kitchen and into the garage and believes that he is on his way here and he's still worked up and angry and Jason thinks this might have pushed him a little too far…" _he has his hand covering the mouth piece but I know it's no use I know my son well enough to know that this is going to be one bad day.

"**Well David why don't you go and double check the house to make sure that I didn't miss her in this big place, and Luke you and I will wait here for Christian…I think it would be best if there were two of us here when he arrived…" **I trust my son not to get violent with me but all the same I would rather have Luke here, plus I have a feeling Christian will want to talk to him anyway.

Something tells me that this day will start off bad but will work out better and considering it's only 7:30am there is plenty of time for that to happen. I hear the car before I see it come down the drive after the gates opening and he is coming full speed towards the house something tells me that he didn't obey any of the traffic rules considering it's only been at best 15 minutes and he's here already.

He pulled the car up slamming on the brakes and climbed out of the car walking up to us. **"WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON DAD?" **he's yelling at me and I can understand his emotions at this. **"Mom said that she would be better off here and now you can't even find her? Have you even looked everywhere?" **he asks and I just listen to him, he seems more angry than concerned for his wife and that scares me a bit, normally is concern out ways his anger.

**Christians POV:**

I was in the gym working out when I heard Taylor on the phone and he seemed upset so I grabbed my towel off the treadmill that I had been running on for over the last two hours and yet somehow I'm still worked up over yesterday, probably because I haven't slept and all I can think about it Ana and how much I feel like she betrayed our vows by calling him instead of me.

I will admit that I probably could have not yelled at her but I was just so hurt and I still am a bit but the workout has helped a bit, I thought it would have helped more considering that's where I've been since the conversation in my office with Jason. So that's going on 6 hours after having something to eat before heading down to the gym. It's weird being in there by myself but I got over it.

"…_Are you sure she's not at the house? She has to be there, she could just be in the shower or something like that?" _ I hear Jason say into the phone and I start to worry, they haven't mentioned her name yet but I get a bad feeling. Jason has his phone on speaker as he is standing at the kitchen counter no doubt making coffee for me because he knows that Ana isn't here and Gail is probably tending to Jackson.

"_No T, she's not in the house, his father has looked everywhere and can't find her…he's really worried because she was so catatonic last night that she barely said a word to anyone, we're worried she could be anywhere…" _that comment sent me over board.

"**What the hell Taylor why didn't you come and get me when he called? I'm going over there now to talk to my father and then to my wife…" **I don't even bother with changing I need to know why the hell no one can find my wife when she couldn't have gotten very far if she was as bad as what Luke just said.

"_Luke you might want to warn Carrick that Christian is coming and he's angry still about last night and this I think has added to his stress, he just ran from the kitchen towards the garage and Carrick will probably want to stop him before he yells the place down…" _I had reached the door to the garage at this point so I lost the rest of the conversation.

I grabbed the keys to Ana's blue 2014 Audi RS6 as my car would be needed for Jason to bring my children to my parents plus Gail and Jackson. Thankfully Luke brought it back here before grabbing one of the Audi Q7 Fleet cars that I have for all security when they are travelling on their own or without Ana and I. It was full fuelled and travelled well under a heavy foot like mine. I was out down the drive and out the gate within 5 minutes and then was going as fast as the car would allow to my parents. I knew that I would possibly get pulled over but I didn't care, all I cared about was finding out what was going on and making sure that my wife was still on the Bellevue estate.

It took running 4 red lights, weaving in and out of traffic and getting honked at by numerous cars before I pulled up at my parents gate within 20 minutes of hitting the garage floor. I keyed in the code for the gate and sped down the drive where I saw both my father and Sawyer, my first thought was I want to know why they weren't looking for Ana and my second was to know how they could just let her disappear like this. I pulled up slamming on the brakes and climbed out of the car turning it off walking up to them.

"**WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON DAD?" **I may seem angry but in all honesty I just want to know that she is okay and that I can trust my family to keep my wife and children safe when I'm not around. **"Mom said that she would be better off here and now you can't even find her? Have you even looked everywhere?" **I watched his face and could tell from the look in his eyes that he wasn't happy with me and to be honest I wouldn't blame him. No doubt Mom would have told him about how I treated Ana and how I reacted last night and he raised me better than to treat anyone like that let alone the person that I love with all my heart and soul.

"**I've checked the entire house and the backyard and I can't seem to find her but I have David looking inside again to make sure that I didn't miss a room and Noah is checking the dock and around that area, not that I think she would have come out here as it was raining last night…" **he has only had this look and this different voice on one other occasion and that was when the whole Hyde thing happened and Mia was missing and I have a feeling that he has that same reaction now because he treats Ana as his own and I love that he does because I know what he would do to protect any of us.

It rained last night? I guess I didn't notice because I was working out so hard. I wouldn't be surprised if she had wondered outside I know how much the water calms her. If she was that worked up she might have come outside and into the rain, but the thing that calms her down the most is the waves and that would have been what drew her out here. I looked up at the house and if I know Ana she was in my room which looks out over the ocean in this back yard like it does at our new home, except we're a little closer to it than Bellevue.

"_Look Christian, I don't mean to make things any harder for you but I'm worried because she hasn't eaten at all since lunch yesterday and I don't think she's had anything to drink either, she could be dehydrated and if she's been out here over night she could have pneumonia…" _I have great respect for Luke Sawyer, he has been a great asset to my staff and keeping Ana safe, but he can sometimes lose his judgement like yesterday and I shouldn't have given him such a hard time as I know how stubborn she can be.

"**Did you check the boathouse at all Dad?" **I asked hoping that my hunch was right in that she might have wanted to be somewhere closer to the water and where we have both been together. I know how hard it is for her to sleep when I'm not next to her but the thing that has always made it easier for her is that she can sense me or it smells like me, it breaks my heart to know that I cause her pain when I go away but it just makes me want to worker faster to come home.

"**No I haven't but maybe you should…you could use the walk to calm you down and if she is in there you can pull your head in and TALK to her..." **I love my Dad but sometimes the way he's so blunt with me annoys the hell out of me. I see Luke out of the corner of my eye and he is trying to cough to cover his laugh, there are many things that I hate one of them being made to look incompetent in front of my staff even if it is their day off. **"and on your way there you might want to find the Christian who treats people with respect and dignity rather than the one that berates them and makes them feel inadequate when all they're trying to do is love you and protect you from something that is bigger than you could do anything about…" **he has a point I guess. I suppose I did make her feel small next to me but I just wanted her to understand.

"**Sure she may have screwed up but she is only human son…you've been on the other end of the scale even if it was a long time ago…everybody can't think things through before acting like you can…they don't have people that can assist them like you do…I just wish that you would see that she was terrified and she just wanted to be with people she knew would take care of her…you can't hold that against her…" **now I can understand why my father is such a good lawyer he does put up a good argument and I know that he is having a go at me without actually having a go at me and for that I am grateful, there are many things I can handle but having my father disappointed in me and angry at me is something that I never want again like he was after he found out about the she thing…I will never forgive myself for what that did to both him and my mother.

"**Okay well why don't you go inside and I'll check the boathouse…Luke can you get a hold of Jason and ask him to get some clothes for me and to get Gail to get something for Ana and make sure that the children have all had breakfast…" **I turn and walk away as Luke says that he will and I can hear 2 sets of feet on the gravel heading back into the house and the door close. I think about what my father has said as I walk down the path that heads towards the pier and then veers off to the left where the boathouse is about 3 meters in that sits amongst trees that line one side of it leaving the window clear to look at the water.

I reach the door of the boathouse and have thought about all the things that I should have said to her when I saw her that made her feel loved, safe and cherished rather than what I did say to her that caused her to be hurt. As I turn the handle on the door I hope to whoever is up there that she is in here and safe because I don't think I could take it if she wasn't. Sure I don't expect the best reception from her after how I treated her but I do want to hold her in my arms again. I have felt so alone since walking out of that hospital room last night. I wasn't lying when I proposed to her telling her that she had my heart and that this room covered in flowers was what she was after.

The bracelet that I gave her for her birthday after I married her held the key to both my heart and soul and I knew from then on that she would always be the one that I needed to feel whole and complete and not having her even in the same house as me…I don't know…I guess it felt like I could have died and I wouldn't have minded if it meant that my spirit could be close to her, not that I want to die at all I have to see all my children grow up, marry, have children of their own. To grow older with my wife is all I want and for us to be together as a family and happy.

I take the stairs one at a time hoping that when I reach the top I will see my Angel and I will be able to breathe, and finally realise that I could have ruined the only thing that was ever honest in my life, this woman, little tiny woman came in and in one day she changed my life, I couldn't sleep and she was all I can think about. The difference being is that now she is all I want to think about and I can sleep peacefully with her in my arms and I only have nightmares every now and then. I think in reality last night I didn't want to go to sleep in case I had a nightmare…and she is the only one that can make me calm when I get like that. She soothes my restlessness and allows me to confide in her even though it's not her burden to hold and I think that is what amazes me the most about her, her honesty and caring personality can drive me crazy but at the same time it makes me so damn proud to have her by my side.

Before I take the last step onto the second part of the boathouse I close my eyes and say her name over and over in my head hoping that when I open my eyes she is in here because I don't even want to think about where else she could be, there's the chance she fell asleep outside on the pier and fell into the water and be anywhere out to see by now, she could have been taken by someone…not that they could get onto the property through the gate or into the waters near my parents' home but to even think about it makes me sick.

I take three deep breaths and count to ten letting all of my angry roll off my shoulders as I know now that what she did, she did to protect not only herself but also me, she knows me well enough to know that if I had seen the fucker he wouldn't be able to walk or talk and I think she wanted to make sure I didn't get in trouble not that I ever would but all the same, the way she protects me makes me feel like I could do anything and still find that I will need her with me to know that everything will be fine.

I step off the step and into the room itself and open my eyes and my heart stops momentarily as my eyes rest on this little figure that lays on the bed, wet hair and t shirt bare legs and she is shaking. My instincts take over and I run to the bed and pull her close to me as I pull the blanket out from under her and place it over her. **"Jesus baby…you shivering and you're so cold…what the hell were you thinking…" **I whisper in her ear as I wrap my arms around her and intertwine our legs hoping to warm her up. **"Ana baby? Talk me honey…" **I murmur into her ear as I rub my hands up and down her arms trying to warm her up, she is close to being ice cold and I'm so scared right now.

Her breathing is shallow and I think she needs to be taken into the house so I get up wrapping the blanket around her and with her in my arms I descend the stairs to the boathouse and run back towards the main house and inside. **"Mom? Dad? I've found her…she was in the boathouse…she's cold and non-responsive…" **I yell at the top of my lungs as I head up the stairs to my old room and lay her on the bed sitting next to her as I stroke her cheek gently.

"**Come on sweet woman…come back to me…" **I whisper as I lean down and kiss her head. Christ she has a fever. She must have been out in the rain last night and the boathouse was the closest so that's where she ran to, she was probably tired and couldn't be bothered coming back to the house but I think that was the wrong choice because now she's freezing and possibly close to having Pneumonia.

"Christian…Son?" It's my mother and she has walked up to me while I've had my lips pressed against her head for the longest time with my eyes closed my thumb running over her cold cheeks and I know that I have been crying because I can feel the tears running down my cheeks. I lift my spare hand and place it on her hand that now rests on my right shoulder and I look at my wife, if she had been out there any longer she could be a lot worse. I stand up and move myself from in front of her so that she can start to assess Ana for me.

"**She has a fever, her breathing is shallow and she was shivering pretty bad when I found her, I think that if she was out there for another hour she might possibly have pneumonia…or she could already have it…" **I say softly to her before walking out of the room and sitting at the top of the stairs. This is all my fault, if I hadn't gone off at her she would have been home with me last night where she would have been safe and warm and in my arms and she wouldn't be how she is now, barely breathing, cold and not talking at all.

"**Son, are you okay?" **I look up and see my father and just shake my head before looking back down running my hands through my hair.

"**I thought about what you said, you were right…" **I murmured as I stood up and looked at him. He knows that he can get through to me when I'm angry easier than my mother can, but then my mother can explain things to me better than he can…I guess I have parents that know when the other one is needed to step in and the other one needs to just take a breath.

"**Look Christian…I know that marriage can be hard, I mean your mother and I have been married nearly 60 years and your grandparents even longer but it hasn't always been an easy ride and it's not always pleasant but we know when we have over stepped the line and we do our best to work it out, it may take days it may only take a matter of minutes but I'm going to say something to you that my father said to me…" **he said as he placed his hand on my shoulder.

"**He said 'Son you can love the woman for all the reasons in the world, even the ones that come from your imagination but if you can never talk honestly with her than it's safe to say that it's not meant to be...and if you can both talk honestly to each other than you are going to spend the rest of your life trying to prove just how much she means to you because she will never think that she is good enough and when it gets to the point where she doesn't care, that's when you have a problem'…" **he was looking at me and I knew that it was because he was trying to explain to me what I knew all along, she loves me too much to want me to get into trouble or to be hurting but at the same time I have to be able to say the same about her.

"**Now I'm pretty sure that what your wife did yesterday wasn't necessarily the best option but surely you can see that what she did, she did to show you that she still cares, now was it the right way to show it? Probably not but at the same time, she was running on adrenaline and that can make you do crazy things…" **he was calm and I knew that meant that he could see that I was processing everything that he was saying to me.

Now I may not know a lot about how love works as I've only spent the last 15 years trying to figure it out and I still don't know everything there is to know about love, having a family, being in a partnership where I can't get everything I want but talking to my father for the last hour about how I can start to cope with these fears and emotions and start to see things from Ana's point of view has made me feel a little more at ease but I'm still worried that I may have gone too far this time.

"Christian? Sweetie she's asking for you…" I turn as I hear my mother's voice and the smile on her face makes me feel a little more at ease but I'm still worried. "She's okay son, she was lucky…you got to her just in time before it got to serious, she's in the bath upstairs in the guest bathroom listening to music on her phone…her fever broke shortly after she got in and she's just resting now." She walks over and rests her hands on my shoulder as she kisses my head.

"Go one honey, go see her the others will be here any minute and you no offense sweetie but you look like hell…I'll have Greta bring your clothes up when Jason and Gail get here" wait what how did she know about that? "Noah filled me in on what you asked Luke to do…" she obviously saw the confusion cross my face and she smiled. "Go on…get, before I chase you up those stairs" she laughed as she pushed me towards the kitchen door.

I walk up the stairs to the guest bathroom and I can hear the music playing through the slightly open door and I know that she still has her mind on yesterday. I stand by the door listening to the song and I can hear her singing softly to the music.

…_You're breaking your own heart.  
It's not too late, I'm still right here.  
If only you let go of your fears.  
You're breaking your heart  
Taking your own heart down the lonely road  
_

_You say it's just one love  
But when it's close enough you just let it go  
The very thing you've been the most afraid of  
You've been doing it from the start, breaking your own heart.  
You're breaking your own heart_

I open the door just as the song finishes and I see her wiping her eyes as she looks up at me. God I hate to see her so upset and knowing that I'm the cause of it hurts even more. As I walked into the bathroom and closed the door she moved to lean her head back on the bath watching me. **"Hey beautiful…" **I murmured as I knelt down next to her taking her hand kissing it and then pressed it to my face closing my eyes leaning into her hand. God it felt so good against my skin, I felt like I was home and not just going through the motions.

I realise just how much that song means to her in this moment. I left her yesterday when she was at her worst and braking when I should have been there holding her together but all I could think about was myself and how much it hurt that she hadn't called me.

"**Oh baby…please can you ever forgive me…I shouldn't have left you yesterday…" **I murmured as I opened my eyes and looked at her and she was staring back at me with those ocean blue eyes that have always captivated me and held me in my place taking my breath away and making me feel like she is the only person who can keep me sane.

"Baby…please…I…should…be…apologising…" she was a little out of breathe and she didn't sound like my Ana but I chalked that up to the fever, the long time in the cold and the fact that she's been crying. I watch her and I move onto my knees and lean closer to her pressing my lips gently against hers and the electricity that has always plagued me when we kiss is still there and I rejoice at the feeling of it. I kiss her for a few more seconds before pulling back.

"**Oh how I've missed those lips against mine…" **I whisper as I rung my hand through her hair. She hasn't aged a day to me, I still see her as the only woman who could pull me out of the shadows and into the light, the only one who could turn my whole world upside down just by one comment _'Raising the ordinary to the extraordinary'_ I remember very clearly everything about that day as I have replayed it many times over in my head.

"I love you Christian…please don't ever forget that…" she said to me as she ran her hand through my hair. "I never meant to hurt you or make you feel like you didn't matter to me…because you mean more to me than anyone, except maybe our children…" she said softly to me with a small laugh and a smile. I can't blame her for that because I love our children just as much as I love her.

"**Well my love, you need to understand that I will always want to protect you and keep you safe because I would never survive without you, I mean look at me, I've had no sleep, I haven't eaten since 12:30 this morning and you know how I feel about food…but I understand from a very valuable source that you haven't eaten since lunchtime yesterday and you know how much it bothers me when you don't eat…" **I watch her and she starts to pull away from me and I have a feeling it's because she thinks I'm going to have another go at her but that's not it at all my first priority is first and foremost her well-being and that is what it will always be.

She goes quiet and all I can hear is the next song on her playlist playing in the background and I listen carefully to what the message is in this song. Will this be the silent message she is trying to tell me?

**Ana's POV: **

I nearly died because of being out in the cold last night, Grace told me that if I had been outside much longer it could have been much worse…and that he was devastated when he brought me in, Grace said she's not seen him this at war with his emotions ever. I guess that means that the love we share is screwing us both up in some ways. I saw his face when he came into the bathroom and his touch, the kiss, his voice it still does things to me that I never thought were possible. It's breaking my heart being this far away from him yet still so close.

"**Well my love, you need to understand that I will always want to protect you and keep you safe because I would never survive without you, I mean look at me, I've had no sleep, I haven't eaten since 12:30 this morning and you know how I feel about food…but I understand from a very valuable source that you haven't eaten since lunchtime yesterday and you know how much it bothers me when you don't eat…" **I listened and I knew that he was telling me off for not sticking to my routine of eating at certain times. I stayed silent because I did want to fight with him again. It's bad enough that for the first time in 15 years I slept alone feeling like I had lost his love and wasn't going to get it back.

…_.When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears_

_When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears_

_And I held your hand through all of these years_

_But you still have_

_All of me_

_I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone_

_But though you're still with me_

_I've been alone all along_

This song has more meaning to me than anything he could possibly imagine, this song is how I see our relationship, for so long he was all alone and then I fell into his life, literally and nothing was ever the same. The song finished and looked back at him and I took his hand in mine lacing our fingers. "As much as I want to have this discussion with you baby…the water is getting cold and I would like to get out…but please know that I will eat my heart out today…" I add with a smile as he looks into my eyes.

He stands up and grabs the towel off the heat rack and he comes back over to me holding out one of his hands. "Thank you baby…" I murmur gently as I grab his hand and stand up slowly and then step out of the bath and I catch him eyeing me up and I giggle. "Nothing changes Mr grey even after a bad night…" he smiled at me and as he wrapped the towel around me holding me in his arms.

"**So sue me…I took a few seconds to admire my beautiful wife in all her glory and I still love what I see…" **He looked at me like he could devour me but there was a knock at the door.

"I have your clothes Mr and Mrs Grey…" it was Greta. I looked back at Christian and raise my eyebrow at him.

"You are still so thoughtful and full of surprises…" I say to him as I walk to the door and open it taking our clothes, thanking her and then closed the door walking back over to him.

"**I guess now it's my turn to get cleaned up…" **he whispered gently as he moved around me to turn the shower on and I couldn't help but watch him as he started to undress, forgive my swoon but he still looks as glorious as the first time we were together in all our glory.

I have to admit that in the last two weeks, since he's been so busy at work we've hardly had the time to be intimate with each other and it's starting to get to me know I can feel myself getting wet and it's so not the time. I clear my throat and start to get dressed as I pick up my clothes I notice that Gail must have picked them out because there's no way a guy could have chosen so good. I have a Chiffon Blue Ruffle Tie Top with Marc Jacobs Black Silk Shorts and my Jimmy Choo Navy Suede Biker Boots. God bless her I couldn't handle heels today I feel totally drained.

I look in the mirror and sigh, I'm going to scare my children because I look so horrible, my eyes are blood shot, I have puffy cheeks and my face is all blotchy. I place Christian's clothes on the bench and his shoes on the floor. I will never get over how much taste my man has in fashion…I secretly think that he's gay and he just doesn't want to admit it but I'll keep that little statement to myself. He has a White, short sleeve Marc Jacobs shirt with Rag and Bone Cargo Blade Loose Fitting Shorts with his High Top Nylon Casual Green/Brown Swims shoes.

I jump as I hear a loud high pitch scream and I know instantly that it's my youngest. "M…MOMMA!" I hear her crying. "I WANT MOMMA!" she is crying and I can't help but want to have her in my arms. I leave Christian in the bathroom to shower and change and I run down the stairs to my little one. _"It's okay sweetie, Momma will be down soon…"_ I hear Gail trying to soothe her seeing her sitting on the steps with Rina in her lap. "M…Momma…" I can hear her saying into Gail's neck as I'm standing right behind them.

"I'm right here Baby Girl…" I murmur as I sit down next to them. Katarina climbs of Gail's lap and into mine and I hug her close closing my eyes as I kiss her head. It's amazing how much you miss your children when you don't see them for a long period of time. To have her small body next to mine sets my heart to a slow beat because I know she's okay. "I…I… m…miss m…momma" she says as she is still worked up and I rub her back rocking her gently.

"I missed you too baby girl…" I realise that this is probably the first time in her life she has woken up and neither Christian nor I have been there. I close my eyes resting my head against hers. I think the only think that makes that realisation easier is that both Phoebe and Teddie were there to calm her down. I look to Gail and smile at her.

"Thank you for looking after my Children, even though they aren't your responsibility, I will make it up to you somehow…" I say gently to her and she reaches over taking my hand.

"_The only thing that matters is that you are okay and you're all back together…and besides I love looking after her we have so much fun laughing and baking and playing with Jackson…" _I'm so glad that we have her in our lives, as well as all the rest of the security staff and Jason.

Christian and I decided after what happened to me during Theodore's birth and then when I had complications with Katarina that if anything was to happen to both Christian and I, Gail and Taylor would become Teddie, Poppy and Diamonds new guardians. Of course when we started talking about it, it started a big family debate about why couldn't Kate and Elliot or Carla or Ray or even Mia and Ethan but the truth is I want my children to stay in the house which we've left to Gail and Jason and with Katarina being so young I would rather she stay with someone who's been there to feed her, bath her and calm her since she was born and that was both Gail and Jason when Christian and I took a night to ourselves every now and then. Of Course no one actually knows who we made legal guardians we just said that when the time came they would find out and by then it would be too late to argue.

"**Hey…what are you both doing sitting on the stairs?" **I look up and see my beautiful husband looking down on me and he has wet hair…ugh that just drives me wild. I stand up pulling Katarina to my hip and kiss him gently.

"She was just upset that's all…" I hadn't realised that Gail had wondered off when I was away with my thoughts. "She missed me and I think that both of us not being there this morning when she woke up may have freaked her out a little bit…" I add as I walk down the last three steps.

"Come on honey…we should join the rest of the family so we can start celebrating this amazing day with everybody…" I murmur as I hold my hand out to him. He smiles as he comes down and takes my hand lacing our fingers and we walk through the house and out to the backyard.

"_**And her she is, the lost wonderer has returned…and she looks as beautiful as ever…" **_now I know that the last comment won't go down well with my husband but Elliot will be Elliot. I smile and walk over to him giving him a hug; it seems like forever since I've seen him.

"_**And who is this pretty little thing…it can't be my little ballerina can it?" **_ he pulls a funny face and she starts to giggle. I have to admit it's good to see her smiling again and I know that she loves Elliot of course she calls him Lelliot, just like Christian use to do.

"Dance…me uncle Lelliot…" her little arms are stretching out to him and I hand her over but I am a little disappointed it was nice to have her back close to me. I smile as I see her standing on Elliot's feet as he dances around in circles.

"Hey sweetie, are you feeling better?" I turn seeing Grace behind me and I nod. "I hope that you are, you had us all worried after not talking yesterday and then…well you know…" I can see that she was worried and that I had hurt all of them wondering outside last night.

"Yes thank you, your warm vanilla and jasmine bath work wonders…" I say softly and I feel Christian's arm wrap around my waist and I place my hands on top of his. "I am so sorry about this morning, I just felt like I was suffocating in that bedroom and well Christian knows better than anyone that when I'm near water I calm down…I just needed to be able to breathe and then it started to rain and well I wanted to be close to Christian and the boathouse holds one of the happiest memories we ever made together…" I say as I look down at the ground feeling embarrassed. I don't know why I guess it's because well the first memory I have of the boathouse is a sexual one but it was for the memory of the proposal that I felt safe there and close to him.

"**Hey now com on…this isn't the place for this and yesterday was yesterday…we just have more reasons to celebrate today…" **I look up seeing Carrick and I step out of Christian's arms and walk over to him.

"I'm sorry I wasn't very talkative last night…and I appreciate that you set up Christian's old room for me and that you got everybody to look for me…" I hug him gently and then smile. I have always felt comfortable around both Carrick and Grace because they have always been so welcoming.

"_Hey Daddy, can we play a game of football?" _I smile I love my Daughter, she is so much like her father, she loves sports and is into fitness the only thing she gets from me is her personality and her looks, oh and my small feet but she doesn't mind that. She is such a Daddy's girl and to be honest I don't mind a bit, it's brought out a more playful side in Christian that he didn't have with Teddie and he is a little soft on her at times and I know she doesn't like it.

"**Sure Poppy why don't you go round up the others and we'll start a game…You wanna ref Dad?" **he turns to Carrick and smiles as he kisses my head and then walks inside the house. Carrick refs every game because he knows that Elliot and Christian try to cheat, but it just makes the game more enjoyable, but Carrick plays hard ball.

I run my hands through my hair and then walk onto the deck and sit down on one of the Chaises closing my eyes as I feel the sun heating my skin, I feel like I could fall asleep but in all honesty I think it's just nutrition that I need. "Greta, have they set up the drinks yet?" I ask as I see her standing watching the younger children.

"_Yes they are out the front…" _she said gently. I nodded and climbed up walking through the house and out to the front lawn where they had started up the game of football. Oh yes there is definitely going to be some fouls in this game I can tell just by the look on both Elliot and Christians faces. I smile at the caters as I picked up on of the feijoa and grapefruit smoothies that was on the table, I'm so glad that grace remembered, it's one of those were pregnancy craving things that I had when I was carrying Phoebe and then again with Katarina and I've just kept drinking them.

I take a sip and see Kate come out of the house. "Hey Kate, how are your two youngest ones doing?" I ask her as I give her a hug.

"Oh you know, well I guess for you it's not as bad because you only have one but with two let's just say it's all screaming, fighting, time outs and lots and lots of 'I ate you'" she said imitating the last part and I couldn't help but giggle. I can't imagine what it must be like to have twins although I have to admit I wouldn't have minded having twins, I just didn't want to have a family with only one child because it was miserable being alone in a house, especially with all the men my mother went through, I promised myself I wouldn't be like her and it's safe to say that I'm not.

Well at least I hope I don't end up like her, I couldn't do that to my Children and I couldn't see my life without Christian in it and if last night is anything to go by I think we could come through anything. "Hey I was thinking that while Christian is away next week you and Mia and maybe even Grace, should come over for a Girls night or something, I think Phoebe might like it we could do shopping and movies and trashy magazines…" I said gently as I watched the game.

"Yeah that would be cool, could I bring Pascal? I mean she is a girl too?" she said with a chuckle.

"Of course you can, it would be good for her and Katarina to spend some time together without Lukkan…" I said as I smiled at her.

"_Momma look what I found!"_ I turn around seeing Pascal and Katarina both come running through the house with Grace behind them. It was Pascal who was holding a necklace and little bracelet and Rina was holding a little crown and some badges.

"_Nannie hid them…we found them…" _she is so cute and has Kate's smile. "Well aren't you a clever monkey, did you thank Nannie for the presents?" Kate asked her and Cal hid behind her and so I'm taking that as a no.

"Oh no don't tell me that you didn't thank Nana either Baby Girl…" Rina looked down and she nodded silently. I bent down and placed my hand under her chin and pulled her face up to mine. "Now sweetie you know that when you get presents you have to thank the person who gave them to you…Do you think you could you thank Nana for the lovely crown and badges?" Christian and I raised our children to be courteous and polite, mainly because that's how he was raised and how I wanted out children to act.

She hugged my neck and kissed my cheek and then ran over to Grace. "Fank you Nana…" she said sweetly and did a cute little bow with her dress that she was wearing, oh she was so cute. She was wearing her Jessie and James Cotton Pinafore Dress and she was wearing her Rainbow Katz Pink Satin Ballet shoes, well one pair that she has.

"_**How is that not a foul? She grabbed me from behind and pulled my shirt over my head…" **_I hear Elliot's voice yelling and I see Christian and Poppy high fiving…something tells me that was a set up by those two. Oh I forgot to mention that it was Christian, Elliot, Luke, David, Noah, Alexandra and Kristen against Poppy, Teddie, Mike, Helena, Kelly, Connor and Alexis.

We have security for every member of the family except the younger ones; we have 12 security members including Luke and Jason. While the Men, more specifically Ethan, Elliot and Carrick don't think they need them Christian got someone just to keep an eye on things with them…My baby still doesn't know when he's being over the top but his family knows better than to say no to him.

Kristen Graham is CPO for Phoebe, Connor O'Dell is CPO for Teddie, Kelly Johnston is CPO for Ava, Mike Parsons is CPO for Elliot, Alexis Lincoln is CPO for Kate, Noah Shaw is CPO for Grace, David Reardon is CPO for Carrick, John Reynolds is CPO for Gail, Alexandra Queens is CPO for Jackson and Helena Kirkwood is CPO of Sophie, while Luke is mine and Jason is Christians as well as being in charge of all of them. Having them all in the same place especially on holidays can be a bit over the top at times but they normally stay separate to the immediate family. Of course on the odd occasion we need security for Grandpa and Grandma Trevelyan but they don't have any set people as they spend most of their time at home or with Christian and I so they are always safe.

"**I'm sorry son but I didn't see it so it wasn't a foul…" **Carrick said laughing as he high fived Christian.

"_**This is so not cool, she so totally cheated…" **_put it this way, Elliot doesn't like being made a fool of and that is exactly what happened when Phoebe did what she did.

"_Look Uncle Elliot…no one likes a sore loser…" _oh no baby watch out, that is definitely something she gets from her Dad, Christian loves to taunt people especially when it comes to sports. I love how close Christian is to Elliot and the fact that they can pull pranks on each other helps me know that he's finally letting go of not being closer to Elliot after what happened with the she-witch. Yes I have many names for her and it makes it worse every time I have to see her smug paedophile face when she's at charity events, I so wish I could smack her one but it wouldn't look good for either of us, especially with every one knowing who we are.

When you get to a certain point in life I think it's important to know where you stand in the social world, for me it's somewhere between wealth and middle class because in all honesty half the time I forget how much money Christian and I have because we're just two people who work hard and raise a family, when I see all of these security people and Greta, Gail and Luke I sometimes have to remember that we are in our own way celebrities in Seattle and we are always being followed by Paparazzi when we just want to be left alone.

I find myself staring out the window of our house wondering how different my life would have been if I had never met Christian, I would probably be the invisible assistant at a publishing house and no one would even know my name, I'd still be living more or less in an apartment with Kate and possibly even still be a virgin because I would have never attracted a man because of how I dressed or because I always spoke my mind when someone tried to get in my face. Then there comes the time when I look at my family, my house, my husband and I could never be without them because they have made me who I am, with their love, support and the understanding that I have had things happen to me that they possibly couldn't even comprehend.

I spent so much time lost in my books, working at Claytons and studying that I never had a social life except Jose and Kate and even then it was only every second week or so because we were all in different places or just busy. It took that one fateful incident where she got the flu and I couldn't say no for me to realise that I had been the reason that my path for the rest of my life changed, I was the reason Christian couldn't get me out of his head, I was the reason that he brought SIP and then changed it to Grey Publishing.

But none of that matters because I am safe, secure and I know that I will never have to worry about money, my family or my safety because I know that he will always be there to pick me up if I fall, to hold me when I'm said and to help us raise our children to be respectable members of society and the only thing I wish I could do was protect my children from all the bad in the world and to keep the cameras off of them because they don't need all that added pressure along with just trying to grow up.

"_Ana sweetie is everything okay?" _I hear Gail's voice next to me and I nod my head and drink some more of my smoothie. I clear my throat and look out at the field as they are shaking hands to finish the game and then look at her.

"Uh yeah, just thinking about some things…oh I forgot to thank you for bringing me these clothes, I think I'm going to have to start taking an overnight bag with me everywhere…" I laugh softly and she raises an eyebrow at me.

"Gail I was kidding…no more Mrs Independent cross my heart…" I say as I take her hand. She has become such a good friend to me and I would be lost without her.

"Lunch is being served out the back on the patio if you would like to go through..." I hear Grace calling from the front steps of the house and I smile gently letting Gail take her leave when Jason joins her. I turn around and place my empty smoothie glass on the table and pick up a full one when all of a sudden I feel hands on my back and I feel soft lips on my neck and I lean back smelling the jasmine body wash coming off his skin. "Hey baby…" I whisper as I run my hands into his hair. "Your all sweaty and gross…" I giggle as I turn around to face him.

"**Well I could tell you what I would really like to do to make me all sweaty but it definitely wouldn't be gross…" **I said seductively smirking at me, Oh no you don't Mr Grey, not now and definitely not here.

**A/N: Sorry it took a bit longer than expected, migraines and sore necks for the last 4 days have set me back a bit but I have finished it and hopefully it's answered some of your questions. **

**The first song was Breaking Your Own Heart by Kelly Clarkson and the second one was My Immortal by Evanescence, two of my favourite songs at the moment and I just had to write them into this story. **

**I will upload pictures of the clothes onto pinterest dot com/ hfanfiction / fifty-shades-of-forever-after/…just take out the spaces and replace the dot with a .**

**I also have one with pictures of the characters that I see in my head which some of you might not agree with, they're on pinterest dot com/ hfanfiction / fifty-shades-of-forever-after-characters/…just take out the spaces and replace the dot with a .**

**And also on Facebook which can be found on the previous chapter or just by typing HiddeninmySoul FanFiction into the search engine on FB. **

**Much Love, **

**Xx Aby xx**


	7. Chapter 7: Back In The Swing Of Life

**A/N: It was brought to my attention by a very lovely reviewer that I have made a mistake (Albeit a big one in regards to how long Carrick and Grace have been married). I put 60 years and still had Mr and Mrs Trevelyan alive which would put them in their 100's and going back and looking at it, it should have been 40 years but they could have been together longer than that as Christian is now in his Early 40's and Elliot is in his mid to late 40's. Thank you so much for all your lovely reviews I really do appreciate them and hope that you keep reading. **

**If you do find some errors please let me know, I would be more than happy to fix them up or note them down in the following chapter like I have done above. I am also starting a FanFiction based around Twilight as well that I am going to give a shot; I would appreciate your feedback on that one as well if you choose to read it. **

**Same Disclaimers apply here, love Fifty Shades, Love E.L James, Love Reading.**

Much Love, 

**Xxx Aby **

**Carrick's POV: **

Now I can say what I have to in order to get my way in the court room but when it comes to my family I have no trouble in telling them how it should be. My Son's mean a lot to me as does Mia but when it comes to my grandchildren, in my eyes they could do something terrible and I would still love them regardless. The game that I just refereed, which is one of the reasons I love this day, means that I can call the shots and everybody has to listen to me.

It's a very good day in the Grey household when you can have the entire family in one room, granted their maybe more than one table but it is still a sight to behold. Grace and I are one end of the table with Elliot and Kate to our left, then Ethan and Mia, while on our right it's Addie and Theo, Christian and Ana, then Jason and Gail followed by Teddie, Phoebe, Ava and then all of the security at the other end of the table going right round. While the younger ones are at their little table that's their height to the side of us so that we can keep an eye on them as well as still communicate without making them feel left out.

It's all chatter, laughter, some grumbles and a whole lot of smiling which warms both our hearts. It was starting to feel empty with Christian and Elliot both working so hard when they were younger and when Mia was travelling and studying in Paris but so much has changed and for that I am grateful. Mia, Kate and Ana are all talking about their next big girlie adventure while Elliot and Ethan are talking about buildings and upcoming projects they both have and as usual Christian and Theo are talking mergers and acquisitions and it's great for me to see that he has someone he trusts with his ideas and possible opportunities to do more business internationally. I know that he is heading off to Tokyo next week so let's hope that he can sort that out quickly and come home and help out again with Ana and the children. Between both of them working and their security detail I'm amazed that they are still such a close knit unit.

I smile as I drink my beer and watch my family as big as it seems to be, they are all people that I would lay my life on the line for, once you become a part of the Grey household there's no going back. **"If I could all have your attention please…" **I murmur as I stand up and hold up my glass. It goes quiet and I chuckle to myself as all eyes turn to me.

"**I want to thank you all for coming today to celebrate this amazing day in American history, and for another reason, we could have been one short today for many reasons but thanks to Grace and also Christian Ana is here with us and for that I am certainly glad as it wouldn't be a family occasion without you. To all those who tag along with us on a daily basis we appreciate everything you do for us and you are definitely a part of this family whether you like it or not and we would probably be lost without you. So that being said, we have to raise a glass to everybody sitting at this table, we all in some way or another contribute to this family and I want to thank you for that…Happy 4****th**** of July everybody and please feel free to stick around for the fireworks later on tonight and children you are more than welcome to stay the night if you wish..." **Yes they will always be referred to as children and I don't care what they have to say that's who they are and that's how I will address them.

A chorus of "Cheers" erupts around the table with glasses clinking and the little ones are laughing and banging their plastic cups. I excuse myself from the table and walk out into the backyard towards the docks to check that all the fireworks have been loaded onto my yacht and then when Christian and Elliot are ready we will go out and set them up to go off. It's one the only times we spend together, unless we all can take the time off and go fishing or hiking, but they both have young families now and it can get a bit of a hassle.

"**That was a good speech Dad, I think even those who haven't been with us very long were convinced you were threatening them…" **Christian's voice came from behind me with a laugh, I know he likes making jokes with me and I can't help but feel like it's because we have always had a strained relationship since he was younger and it's only sort of come back on track since Ana came into his life.

"**Well I'm sorry but it's true, when you hired them and they started to look after the ones that I care about so much they became like family as well…" **as much as I want to sit here and talk about this I do have some things that I want to get done this afternoon before it becomes too late and considering it's nearly 2 o' clock I'm slowly running out of time.

"**Where's your brother we need to get these set up and then you can come back and do whatever it is you want to do for the afternoon but no stupid childish boy games unless you're playing with your younger children in which case you can act as silly as you like…" **it's always funny watching them playing with their children, it makes me wonder how I ever survived when he and Elliot never got a long and then it was just Christian and Mia, I always knew that Christian would make a good father as much as he never agreed. I kick myself now for thinking that all those years he was gay, not that I would have had a problem with it, I mean I'm not a homophobic or anything I just didn't know what I was going to say to him when he did finally 'come out of the closet'.

"_**I'm right here and don't think that I didn't hear what you said about us and childish games…it's not like we got along when we were little, it's how were making up for it Daddy-O.." **_Oh did I mention how much I wish he would call me Dad like Christian does, but I guess I can't ask him to do that because then he wouldn't be Elliot would he and I would never want to change anything about them or Mia, just what they had to go through at different points in their lives.

"_**Come on let's set up these fireworks and then we can go spend some time with our wives…" **_I see him wink at Christian and I have a feeling that I don't want to know what he's thinking but being a male I don't think I have to think very hard to guess what he means by that. We make our way down to the dock and I climb on board my Luxury yacht it's a very perfect day to take it out sailing, but I have some work that I need to get done for tomorrow.

Christian sails us out as I don't mind who steers so long as no one crashes because she is my pride and joy, of course Grace is amazing but when I'm out on my own I feel like she is my wife, second wife…well Grace knows how much this yacht means to me and she laughs when I say that she's my second wife. Saraphrina is the name of the yacht that Christian brought me one year for Christmas when he first started working at GEH and I loved it. He told me it was a thank you gift but I never needed anything from him, just so long as he was happy and healthy that was all I cared about, of course I found out later on down the road that he wasn't entirely happy. If there was any way that I could have known what was happening I would have stopped it…somehow, he was my son and I let this happen, Grace and I kick ourselves every time we see that Lincoln person and we just want to have a go at her but we said we would keep our mouths shut and act like we didn't know but sometimes it's easier said than done…especially when we see her interacting with other families as she talks to them and it's just a matter of time…it has to be...people like her will never change.

There has to be something that I can do to keep her from hurting another boy like she did Christian…I have to find out more about what happened and how he's handling it because as a father there's nothing worse than watching your children suffer and I need to do something the only question is when…and where...

**Kate's POV: **

Well lunch was good Ana, Mia and I have made a time to have our girls night and Mia is excited as she has been feeling a little out of the loop lately living in Washington DC so that Ethan can do his work in the best possible environment and Mia has started up a little boutique that she designs her jewellery and does some french baking from and she's loving it. Of course Ana and I are still trying to get her to do a design book of everything that she arranged for my engagement party and wedding to Elliot, she had amazing ideas and it was so gorgeous.

We're planning movies, junk food, nails, facials and gossip…of course that last one maybe a bit hard but I'm sure Phoebe would love to vent and even Avalon. Of course Elliot will have to look after Jackson because we have included Gail as well and Jason will be away with Christian. I'm sure between Teddie, Theo and Elliot they will be able to keep Lukkan and Jackson entertained for a few hours until they have to go to bed. Oh and we are going to surprised Addie with a trip to the spa with us when we go which she will hopefully enjoy as much as we do.

Life is good I have 3 amazing children along with an incredible husband and a great job that I love and we have a beautiful penthouse thanks to Ana and Christian not to mention all the space and no clue what to use it for, of course there have been a few cocktail evenings and a family dinner or two to take the pressure off grace who has been snowed under at work with fevers and a few cases of measles and of chicken pox, those poor children. But Grace has such a kind heart I don't know how she does it day after day, I think I would break down every night after seeing what they go through every day.

I'm sitting in the family room with Ana after coming back down from checking on the twins and Rina who are playing with their soft toys as we've put them down for their naps, which if they want to watch the fireworks they will take and we're listening to Phoebe and Christian playing the piano together, it's nearly 4 'o clock and they have set up the fireworks on the diving platform out in the water that was built when Elliot was about 13 and he wanted to swim all the time, but it's had its other uses as well.

I have to admit it's so cute to watch them together playing the piano; they are so much alike that when we tell them they just look at each other and shake their heads and then laugh. I recognise the song as the one that Phoebe wrote for Ana, much like Christian had for her as well, in some ways I am jealous of Ana, I always have been but I think it's just because of how much people look up to her and I wish I had people that looked up to me, I mean I think my daughter does but she's never actually told me and the other two are still too young to understand all the things that life has to throw at them.

"Aunt Kate? Hello? Do you think that Ava could stay the night at my house?" I look up at my niece who is smiling at me and I look to Ana and she's watching me clearly I wasn't hearing her the first time and I clear my throat and look back to Phoebe.

"_Of course sweetie if it's okay with her…and she wants to…I'll come get her tomorrow sometime…" _It's not very often that I zone out like that, in fact I don't think I've done that since finishing at University, wow I must have been thinking more about it than I thought I was. Oh well it isn't the first time I've looked like a crazy person and I doubt it will be that last. If they aren't together they are always texting unless Ava has been giving us attitude in which case we take her phone away not that it does much but she has to learn somehow.

Well I guess we're all just waiting for the day when they want to move out and then there will be tears and arguments and everything will be done to stop them from growing up any further, of course not that we can stop that but it's scary to think that in another few years they'll both be 18 and wanting to get out on their own and have nothing to do with us, well at least Ava will…I think that Phoebe will want to stay in touch with Ana and Christian as much as she can, because they are so close.

Next weekend will be a good opportunity to try and fix the relationship my daughter and I have because truth be told I want her to be confident that she can come and talk to me about anything from school to her problems, even boys not that I want her dating yet…I just don't want her to be like me…I wasn't the best person in the world and I want her to make smarter choices than I did, I want us to have a relationship that my mother and I never had. I never felt like I could talk to her or confide in her, in fear of being laughed at or judged and I couldn't handle not knowing what was going on in Avalon's life.

Maybe I need some air, I somehow feel like I'm losing control on what is happening and I like being in control, I think that is why I enjoy my job so much but it's harder with a family, you have more to worry about and even less time in your day than you think you do. Between work, Elliot and the Twins and Ava I don't get as much me time as I think I should have and I am going to have to start making time for me…as much as I don't want to take away from everything else, I don't want to snap at them and then cause problems that I could have prevented.

Me time, work and Family time…those are the main things I need to concentrate on in my life, no other drama or problems and when I'm with family I leave work stuff at work. I walk out to the backyard and sit down next to the swings that Grace had made especially for the Grandchildren and smile as I remember all the memories that we have made as a family some good ones and a few bad ones but all the same they are why we are where we are today.

The breeze on my face calms me slightly as I twist my wedding and engagement rings on my finger and look out to the water. I feel arms around my shoulders and I relax a little more. I would know them anywhere they hold me tight at night especially when I've had a bad day. _"Hey baby…" _he sits down next to me and I lean against his shoulder.

"_**What is going on? I asked Ana where you'd gone and she said that you spaced out and then came out here…" **_I love this man he always worries about me and it's one of the many reasons why I love him to pieces.

"_I just started thinking about some stuff to do with Ava and I and I'm trying to think of how I can change things so that her and I have a better relationship than what my mother and I had…I mean don't get me wrong I love how close my father and I are but I just want things to be different with our children…" _ I look up at him and he kisses my forehead and I close my eyes, it's all the little things that make me feel like we belong together, the simplest things like kisses, holding hands and even hugging still makes me melt when he's near me.

"_**Kate you and Ava will have ups and downs especially now that she's a teenager but she will always need her mother no matter how old she gets, sure she says she hates you and never wants to talk to you again but she's just letting off steam, her and I are close but most of the time when we talk it's about you and how much she wishes she can take back things that she's said to you…I suggest that when you take this girls day or night or whatever the fuck you're going to do that you and her have some one on one time and you talk about all this stuff because she's getting to the age where it's going to be boys and dating and possibly even sex and there is no way that I will be able to listen to that because there is no way I'm letting my little girl out of my sight with any boy that isn't related to her…" **_he laughs saying the last part but I know how true that is for him, she has always been the apple of his eye and I think that she always will be because she was our first child and it wasn't all plain sailing like the twins were, there were a few black holes that seemed to appear when I was pregnant and all I could think about was how much I couldn't handle it if I had ended up having a miscarriage or if she had been still born.

"_You know I think I might do that, it will be good for us….now I will be good and put on a smile and enjoy the rest of this night and then you and I will take the twins home and we'll put them to bed and then you and I can have some fun of our own…" _ I know that what he's thinking and I have to say that a love our sex life because we're always trying new things to spice it up and I think part of that comes down to conversations that he has with his brother, I don't like it but at the same time I think it's helped us, because we were struggling a little after the twins arrived and now we seem to be back on track thanks to that and also the fact that we communicate more.

He helps me up and kisses me for a few minutes and then we head back inside and hear yelling and laughing and we figured out that they had started a game of charades and I knew that it wasn't going to be a happy ending as Christian, Phoebe and Teddie are really good and the security guys play charades all the time so it was all of them against the rest of us and it would be a close call as it usual is only 3 or 4 points separate us from the security. It was funny watching Grandma and Grandpa Trevelyan playing, or course they have had years on us playing this game but they were so cute trying to act out their choices and then when they were guessing it was all these random things from when they were young that none of us had even considered and they were getting them right.

At 6:30pm we started dinner, the twins and Katarina had been up for about an hour and they were excited because it was getting darker and they were chasing each other around wanting to go outside but we don't let them outside without an adult, especially because they seem to fight quite a bit and we don't know why…I think it's normally Lukkan and Pascal against Katarina and the poor girl doesn't know what to do. She is so cute though and I love the colour of her hair it's so a cross between Christians and Ana's and she has the chubbiest cutest face and she will definitely have all the boys chasing her when she's older, just like Ana did, not that she ever noticed until Christian came into the picture…and even then I think she had played hard to get for a little while…of course I didn't have all the facts back then and his birthday well let's just say I felt like such a tool…if that is still a phrase that can be used today. I shouldn't have brought it up but it freaked me the hell out and I was so worried about her that I just wanted to cut his balls off.

We were all at the table and the order of people had changed places except for the littlies and it was again a table full of chatter and laughter, I think everybody is dreading the fact that today is almost over and tomorrow it will be business as usual with the exception of Poppy, Teddie and Ava as they are on break but for the rest of us it's work, even if it maybe from home it still can dampen peoples spirits about today. I of course have to go into work tomorrow as I am behind in editing and I need to make sure that we can go to print first thing on the 6th so it will be an extremely long day with lots of coffee tomorrow.

**Christian's POV:**

It's 9 o'clock in the evening and everybody is standing along the beach waiting for the fireworks to start, I have to say that this day has been well worth it, it seems like it's been forever since we've had quality family time and I just want to be able to go home and spend some more time with Ana and our children before I head off next week, I'm really not looking forward to it but I have to go and see Mr Oshawa and hope that he won't pull out of this business deal because it will benefit both of us.

I sit on the beach with Ana on my lap and Katarina is on her lap with a blanket wrapped around us and I can't help but feel like the luckiest person on earth at this point, my family has grown and we are closer than we have ever been, granted yesterday being the odd exception to that statement but that is behind us now and it's moving forward from here. "Momma…Daddy…" I look down and she my daughter smiling at us and I lean my head over Ana's shoulder and kiss Katarina on the forehead.

"**Yes my baby girl what's wrong?" **I ask as I ran my hand through her hair and stroked her cheek gently.

"I tired can we go home…" she rubs her eyes and she is so cute when she's tired but I don't want her to miss the fireworks I know how much she loves them.

"**Oh baby, of course we can go home, but you want to see the pretty lights first though don't you? I'm sure they'll be some pretty purple lights…" **It's always hard when it comes to special occasions because we never want her to miss out on anything but at the same time I just want to take her home and put her to bed. The only bonus from her going to bed late is that she sleeps longer and that means Ana and I get more quiet time together.

I watch her little face light up as the fireworks start going off and I know that she will be glad that she didn't go to bed but it has been a long couple of days so we will head off before it becomes too late and I end up with 3 very unhappy children, well the older two not so much but even they can get crappy when they are tired so we try and keep them on a routine at least until they finish high school…of course we can't stop them from going to college and what they do there but I will always be their over protective, worrying father and there is nothing that can be done about that as it's my right and I enjoy it.

At 10:00pm Ana and I say our goodbyes to the family and get the children in the car and Katarina into her car seat and headed home, the others all have access to the cars and the codes to the gates to get in should they choose to come back but I'm taking my girls and my son home and tucking them into bed. I think an early, well a before midnight turn in for both Ana and I will be good. With me going away to Tokyo I am honestly a little worried about how things are between Ana and I, granted it was my fault but I still want to make sure that we are on the same page.

When we arrive into the garage I climb out and take Rina out of her seat and up to her room, she's stirring and it's the cutest thing ever it's a shame when she's like this because when she wakes up completely she has a hard time falling back asleep so I have to get her changed and into bed quickly because I hate to see her crying and upset. Thankfully she's wearing a dress that I can just slide over her head and slide her nighty on and then change her into a pull up, it's just as a precaution she has been pretty good the last few weeks and I'm so proud of her, I just wish she wasn't growing up so fast, seemed like just yesterday she was learning to crawl and now she's running and talking and I just want to be able to slow it down, but I somehow don't think that is going to be possible.

When she's all set I lay her in bed and tuck her in with her favourite blankie and sing her; her lullaby that I know she loves, I walk out and close the door and go to check on Phoebe and Teddie.

I smile as I walk in and see her sitting at her dressing table brushing her hair. She reminds me so much of Ana, well her hair does especially, I didn't know Ana when she was 15 but I am pretty sure she would have looked just as beautiful as Poppy does, yes I can say that because she is my daughter and she will always be beautiful to me and I will make sure she doesn't get hurt, well I am going to try my best to make sure that she doesn't.

"**Hey sweetheart, are you okay?" **I asked as I walked up behind her and placed my hands on her shoulders, she looked worried or upset about something.

"Oh…uh…yeah….just thinking about some things….nothing big…" she turned her brush over in her hands and I ran my hands through her hair.

**"You know…I think that I am going to be in for a hard time soon…if you get any more beautiful there's going to be a massive line of guys coming after you and that's going to be a whole lot of background checks for my team and I and then of course there will be Teddies interrogation of them all..." **I hear her giggle and see her blush and look down.

"Daddy I love you and Mommy very much and nothing will ever change that…but I will always be your little girl…" she turned around to face me and I lifted her up into my arms and spun her round holding her close.

**"That you will my baby girl…we will always be here for you no matter what…" **I place her down on the bed and pull the blankets over her kissing her forehead and making sure she's warm enough. I go to head out of her room and the question that she asks me next made my heart stop.

"Daddy…Are you and Mommy getting a divorce?" I stop just inside her door and turn around to see her face and she looks so upset.

"**Oh no baby…what makes you think that we're getting a divorce?" **I walk back to her bed and side down and run my hand through her hair as I see silent tears falling down her cheeks. That's the last thing I would ever consider doing, for me to do that it would have be a major problem that couldn't be fixed and even then I couldn't imagine my life without being married to Anastasia.

"Well you've been fighting a lot lately, she didn't come home last night….you were angry when you came down to the hospital cafeteria….it's the first time I've ever had to but Rina to bed in my entire life of her being born and you and Mom have always come around and made sure that we were tucked in and everything was okay but that didn't happen last night…" I have to give her more credit, she pays attention more than I thought and she is right. Last night everything was different, the house felt empty and cold, it's like Ana is the life of this family and I wouldn't disagree with that.

"**Poppy your mother and I are not getting a divorce, we're just having a few disagreements but nothing is going to change, we will always be together…please don't worry about this honey…Last night shouldn't have happened but it did and we can't change it but we will always tuck you in and make sure that you're okay. I'm glad that you put Katarina to bed for me…I'm sorry that I never came and saw you last night but I just had to clear my head and I'm sorry I wasn't here this morning but I will make it up to all of you…" **I lean down and kiss her head and stroke the tears from her face. I hate the fact that she thinks that and something tells me that both her and Teddie have talked about this which means I'm going to have to have a chat with him too before he starts thinking that it will actually happen.

I feel her arm wrap around my neck and I hold her close. "I love you Daddy, I want you and Mommy to be together forever…I'm sorry I upset you…" her voice showed me how tired she actually was.

**"I love you too Poppy and we will always be together, I will do everything I can to make sure it happens…Get some sleep and we'll do something tomorrow okay?" **she nods her head and I walk back to her door turn her light off and pull the door across as we keep the hallway light on at night in case Rina wakes up, she doesn't like the dark but I'm hoping that soon she'll grow out of it….not that having it on is a problem.

When I reach Teddie's room I see Ana sitting on his bed running her hands through his hair and I can only imagine that they are having the same conversation that I just had with Poppy. I go and check on Katarina to make sure that she's still under her blankets and then walk back up the hall to Teddie's room. Ana is walking towards the door and the look the crosses her face shows hurt and I'm pretty sure it's because of the conversation they had.

"I'm gonna check on Phoebe and then head to bed…I think you need to talk to him…" she whispered to me as she kissed my cheek and then walked down the hall. I love her so much that I can't wait to go to bed tonight but this conversation needs to be had.

"**Hey Dad…" **he looks at me as I walk in and sit down on his bed and I run my hand through my hair. I look at him and smile gently.

**"So I guess that the conversation you were having with your mother is the same one that I was having with your sister? I love your mother, you know that and we would never get a divorce son…I wouldn't let that happen and if it did it would be for reasons that couldn't be resolved between us…but I plan on only ever being with your mother so please don't get hung up on this what happened last night will never happen again if I can help it and I promise that tomorrow we'll do something okay…" **I leaned over and kissed his head.

"**Get some sleep son, we'll talk some more tomorrow and don't worry, your mother and I will be fine…" **I add before walking out of his room closing his door. It's hard for me to have emotional talks with my son because we are a like in so many ways it can be a bit much but he knows that if he ever wants to talk to me I'm here for him.

Walking into our bedroom I can hear Ana in the bathroom and I pull off my shirt and shorts. I think I need to calm down a bit so I sit on the bed and take my phone out and start looking through photos on my phone as I try and keep myself from thinking about what my children thought was happening between Ana and I. I sure hope that it never comes to us having to get a divorce…but I guess when it comes to anything you should never say never.

**Anas POV:**

Wow I never realised how much we've been fighting the last few weeks, but then again I've been busy at work and Christian is trying to get things sorted for his trip to Tokyo so I guess we've both been preoccupied. I can't believe that our children thought we were getting divorced, I never want that…ever and even if Christian did want to file I would never sign…I love being Anastasia Grey and I wouldn't give that up for anything. He's given me my life; I mean I did have one before we met but now I have a life that I can be proud of.

I've worked hard over the last 15 years to get to this point, I have everything I'll ever need and I owe it to him I can't stand the thought that one day he wouldn't want me. I guess we're going to have to start talking to each other and figuring out where we stand with each other. When I walk out of the bathroom in my Grey Only Hearts Tulle with Lace Racer Back Chemise with Pink outline I see Christian laying on the bed with his phone and I can't help but roll my eyes, no doubt he's checking his emails or something like that.

**"Hey, I saw that…" **he said to me as I walked over to my dresser and grabbed my hair brush and then walked back over to the bed. I lean over and kiss his cheek and see that he's looking at one of the photos he took when we got professional one's done with Theodore and Phoebe. It seems like just yesterday they were still little but now they're growing up and I just want it to stop.

"If only they stayed that little, then we wouldn't have to worry about boys or girls…heart brakes, driving lessons, rebelliousness…" I giggled because I highly doubt we'll end up with rebelliousness teenagers but we never know so have to be prepared. He looked at me and I sighed gently. I knew he was thinking the same.

"**So I'm assuming that Teddie was talking to you about whether we were getting a divorce or not?" **I looked at him and nodded. **"I had the same conversation with Poppy and it nearly broke me…I never thought that was how they saw last night, but I guess I can understand…" **he seems so defeated and I move to wrap my arms around his neck as I moved closer to him.

"Baby I always want to be with you, you know that and I know that you want to be with me forever as well, I guess we never really paid enough attention to how they were seeing it…but I guess after last night I can understand why they thought that, it's the first time since we've been together and married that we haven't slept under the same roof when were in the same town…" I wipe my eyes feeling the tears fall as I think about it.

"**Hey don't cry baby, last night was totally my fault and I'm sorry that we've been arguing so much, I love you and our children more than anything else in the world and I never want to split us up or drive us to hating each other. I guess I'm just stressed about this whole Tokyo thing and I don't mean to take it out on you…" **he leaned over and kissed me and I held him close kissing him back deeply as I moved to sit in his lap. I love this man and he still sends the jolt through me, like he did the first time he touch my skin when he was helping me put my coat on.

I kiss him for a few more minutes and then pull back running my hands through his hair. "I love you so much Christian…I never want to be without you…" I whisper as I kiss his neck gently.

"**I love you too baby…so much…" **he starts to groan and I know that I have him right where I want him.

I moved my hands down his toned, muscular shoulders along his biceps down his arms to his hands and I lace our fingers and bring our hands up behind his head and I smirk at him. "Now Mr Grey I believe that we have some things we need to sort…" I smiled as I felt him squeeze my hands in his and I giggle.

"**Well I don't know exactly what we have to sort but I definitely like where this is going…if it's going where I think it is…" **Oh no he doesn't, this isn't going to be about sex, well not all of it anyway. Cut me a break I'm not fucking dead, my husband is drop dead gorgeous and I have needs, oh boy do I have needs.

"Well first of all, you and I need to start communicating more, I think that's what's causing us to fight so much, second of all I'm sorry about last night and I will never do anything like that again and that's the last time either of us are going to talk about it…." I watch his face and he's getting frustrated but I know that he doesn't want to keep hashing this out just like I don't. I look into his eyes and then lean down and kiss his lips again biting it gently and he moans as I squeeze his hands tighter.

**"Come on baby…stop teasing me…it's been too long since we've been like this…and I go away next week and I'll have to wait for ages before we do it again…" **I looked at him and can't help but giggle he's like a little boy who's had his toys taken away from him on Christmas. I move to wrap my legs around him and release his hands running mine down his chest over his abs and back again, oh yes sex on legs with this man.

"Christian please I'm just trying to clear the air before you leave for Tokyo and so our children aren't thinking were getting a divorce…." I shake my head trying to clear it but it doesn't last long when our eyes met, his have turned darker with the hint of lust and torture running through them. Oh they're so hot.

"**We're not getting a divorce so that point is moot and the air is clear as far as I'm concerned, we will spend tomorrow with the children and spend quality time as a family and then on Monday I will get ready to leave we'll all have breakfast together and then I'll head off to the airport and meet up with Ros and Gwen and we'll fly out on the GEH jet…Don't worry baby you and I are as strong as ever…" **he moved and pushed me down onto the bed and climbed on top of me and I couldn't take it anymore. I needed him now and I needed him for a long time…it's been too long and I could just be lost with him forever and never care, well except for our children which means that it wouldn't last forever but I'm sure you can follow what I mean.

I smiled up at him and I pull him down close to me and wrap my leg around his as I kiss him deeply. I think this is something that we need…in order for him to feel that we are okay….and for me to know that we are okay. I feel his hands trailing slowly up and down my legs as his lips press harder against mine as our tongues start to do their usual dance. I'm already breathing deeply just one little touch sends a jolt through me that can set me off and he knows it. It's a weakness that I have but name one woman who wouldn't if they could be up close and personal with _the_ Christian Grey.

"**Oh babbbyyyyy…" **he's moaning already and he's only feeling me up, something tells me I may be in for a long night…not that I'm complaining….well not yet anyway.

**Christians POV: **

Oh the way that she talks, the way her lips move that fact that she's holding my hands above my head how can I concentrate on just talking surely she can understand that a man, such as myself, who in a way loves his sex could only concentrate on that when he's be deprived for so long.

"Christian please I'm just trying to clear the air before you leave for Tokyo and so our children aren't thinking were getting a divorce…." Oh I hate that word _Divorce_ it's not even in my vocabulary, well at least I hope it's not, god I could never do that to my family or my children. Everybody in my world loves Ana just as much as I do, of course not in the same ways that I do but my point still stands.

**"We're not getting a divorce so that point is moot and the air is clear as far as I'm concerned, we will spend tomorrow with the children and spend quality time as a family and then on Monday I will get ready to leave we'll all have breakfast together and then I'll head off to the airport and meet up with Ros and Gwen and we'll fly out on the GEH jet…Don't worry baby you and I are as strong as ever…" **I pushed her down on the bed and climbed on top of her, I'm done having this conversation I want some action and I want it all night and I want it long. I've wanted to make love to her for ages just some good old vanilla sex to tie me over until I come back from Tokyo, hopefully a little less stressed and more on top of both my business and my family.

I run my hands over her smooth legs and I feel my member twitch that electricity goes from her skin through my fingers and it's all I can do to keep from tying her up is to kiss her deeply and run my other hand through her hair as my fingers run under her little negligee that she was wearing and it looked amazing on her, I'll give her that, she still has a rocking body after 3 children and 15 years no thanks to Claude of course and yes I will admit that I didn't think she needed it but I was wrong and it hasn't been the first time.

I run my fingers along her waist and up her toned stomach, over her abs, her chest and to her breasts where I start to tease her nipples between my fingers and I look up at her and her head is back and her mouth is open and she is breathing heavily. Clearly I have the same effect on her that she still has on me. I move to lay half on and half off of her as I start to suck on her neck leaving little butterfly kisses as I call them on her skin as my hands start to pull her nightwear off over her head and chuck it off to the side.

"Oh Christian…please…." She murmurs in my ear and I feel it down there. I move between her legs and start to grind against her as I kiss along her collarbone and run my fingers down her sides and she shivers as she wraps her leg around my hips pulling me closer to her and I feel her hands on my shoulders, then down my back and I kiss her neck and then her lips as I moan into her mouth. God I'm so hard for her and her touch is making it impossible for me to take this slow but I want to and I'm going to do my best to give that to her.

Oh how I wish I hadn't waited so long to do this. Boomer is as eager to be inside her as I want to be but I have to remember that I can't be fast or this won't last long at all for me. I smile at her as I run one of my hands down her leg and pull it out to the side gently as I run my fingers down the apex of her thigh and she's putty in my hands and she knows it.

Oh baby her hands on my bare skin, what that can do me, hell her hands on me anytime drives me crazy. I look into those ocean blue eyes and I'm lost, there's nothing here but her and I and it's like we're actually on the beach I can hear the waves and feel the sand, oh how I miss the quality time we use to have on a regular basis before the children got older and then of course we had Katarina and it was like a distant memory, although I can easily  
fix that.

"**Oh baby…I love you so much…I've missed this…I've missed us…" **I murmur against her lips as I move up her body sliding into her gently and she is still as tight as ever. I can hardly believe it after having 2 children naturally. It takes a lot for me not to just do her hard and fast, but I think this moment calls for slow and steady making it last.

Her eyes are closed and her head is back, oh that smooth skin exposed and I lean down and suck on her neck leaving butterfly kisses and making sure I kiss every exposed area on her neck, along her collarbone and down her chest, when I reach her breasts I can't help but take her left one in my mouth and suck on it as I massage her other one with my hand.

"O…Oh….Chris…Christian…." that's the sound that I've missed, her moaning; especially my name and I will never get tired of that because she will always be my baby, no matter what. The decision to make her my more was the best thing I have ever done in my life. Her hands moved into my hair and she pulls and I smile as I move in and out of her. It's like I'm being squeezed every time I move and I love it.

"**Uhh…Ana…I…Love…You…" **I moan as I move faster as I hold her waist with one hand and hold her head with the other running my fingers through her hair as I rest my face against her neck moaning and breathing hard and I just want to stay buried inside of her forever but I can feel her reaching her climax and oh I'm so ready to feel that, it drives me crazy and I know that me coming inside of her makes her feel the same way.

"Chris…Christian…Uh….B…Baby…." Oh that seductive voice, that moaning it drives me crazy and I could just keep doing this over and over I push in harder and faster as she continued to moan out my name and oh my body was reacting to this. I lean up and look down at her, her eyes are looking back at me so full of desire and love that I can't hold back any longer. I grip the pillow that her head is resting on as I find my release.

"**Uhh…yesssssss…Annnnnnnnna…Baby…" **Oh it feels so good to be able to feel like this again, to feel close to her and to make me feel like we're back on track again where we need to be especially before I go away. God it's going to be one hell of a miserable week being away from both her and our children, I seem to miss out on so much when I'm gone that it feels like I come back to a completely different life than the one that I left.

"Uhhhhh….Christian….YESSSSS….BABY…." and there is her release, now normally she comes before I do but I think that I caved, normally I wait until she has been satisfied before I satisfy myself but I think tonight it was just one of those moments where I couldn't wait. She is breathing heavily and I lean down and kiss her a few times smiling and breathing heavily against her lips as I try to pull myself together. She starts to giggle and I smile as I pull out of her slowly and lay down on my side of the bed.

"**What's so funny Mrs Grey?" **I ask as I lay on my side looking at her my hand running up and down her side.

She looks over at me and moves her hand to my hair. "I was just thinking about how much noise you normally make when we have sex but you seemed so….tame….I think that's the right word….yes you were tame tonight…." She watches me and I smile and start to laugh as I think about it and she's entirely right, I am normally more vocal, I guess tonight really was different for us, it was very much like the first time we made love (as she put it), had Vanilla sex was how I put it but I enjoyed tonight just as much as any other time we have been intimate.

"**Well maybe I just wanted tonight to stay between us and not let the whole house hear us…" **I pull her close to me as I kiss her head and she snuggles up close to me. **"This was perfect baby…I really needed it…Thank you…" **She truly is amazing to me and I don't know where I would be today without her…well I have a fair idea where I would be and to be honest after experiencing what life can really be like I don't want to even think about where I could be…and who could still be around me.

**Anas POV:**

Oh my that was definitely one for the books, that was amazing and so worth the wait but hopefully it won't be so long next time...because after that and with the torture that I suffer everyday having to look at that body and not have him close to me drives me insane. That rock hard body, that hair, those eyes, oh no I can't get excited again because I know that next time it will be hard and fast and I don't want that tonight.

"**This was perfect baby…I really needed it…Thank you…"** I look at him and he has his eyes closed and his face is buried in my hair. He looks so peaceful like this, seeing his chest rise and fall, his hand stroking my side and all I want is to be close to him.

"Oh baby your so welcome…I think we both needed it…but do me a favour?" his eyes open and he's staring right into mine and I lose my train of thought momentarily.

"**Anything baby…what is it?" **I shake my head and grin as I look at him and run my hand through his hair, he is so incredible and his face is one that I can't get out of my head and quite frankly I never want to forget this face.

"Please don't wait so long next time…and I don't want us to go to bed made at each other anymore because it kills me having you so far away from me…" I rest my hand on his cheek as he looks into my eyes and I can tell that he is lost in mine, he gets that glazed look and it's so cute.

"Hello? Earth to Christian any one at home in there?" I ask as I lean in and kiss him gently.

"**Sorry baby was lost in thought…Believe me I won't leave it so long next time…and I hate us fighting…if we do ever fight I think there will be make up sex…maybe some punishment depending on the fight and then lots of cuddles because having you so far away is torture and I hate it when you're not next to me…I even struggle when I go away and you're not next to me because the bed is so empty and cold…" **Now this is a side that is rare in any day with him unless of course he's talking to Grace, then he's all about what's going through his head. I have a hard time knowing that he can't always talk to me about how he's feeling but I'm glad that he has her.

I lean in and kiss him just to shut him up because I know exactly what he means. Ever since that first night we spent together, sleeping in an empty bed has been hard, at least now when he goes away I have his shirts that I can sleep in that makes it feel like he's here and his pillow that I can cuddle that both smell like him and it makes the distance bearable, but only just because it's not the same as having his arms around me holding me tight keeping me warm and making me feel so safe and secure.

"Stop talking and just hold me…I know what you mean and believe me I don't like you not being here keeping me safe but I manage just like you manage and besides it just makes you coming home even more amazing…" I bury my face in his neck cuddling against him as my hand rests in his hair and I listen to his heart beating, that is the one sound I do miss when he's away…that and his breathing, something about both of these sounds makes me feel like I'm home.

**"You are incredible Anastasia and I love you so much…sleep tight my beautiful Angel…" **every night he says that last part "Sleep tight my beautiful Angel" and for me it's the one thing that helps me relax…since we got married he's always called me Angel and he told me it was because he felt like I was sent to save him from the miserable life that he was living and that it was fate that sent me to his office that day and I have to say that I don't disagree with him, thanks to Kate I have the life that I never imagined possible, well I knew that I always wanted children but everything else is just the icing on one very large, expensive cake.

It's 11:30pm and I'm so tired, I feel his arms tighten around me and he buries his face in my hair again and I can't help but sigh happily, we are back where we should be. In each other's arms, loving each other and just holding each other. I find myself falling asleep going back to our honeymoon, the water, the boat, the intimate moments, the gifts, the views, the places, all of it plays through my head like I'm there again and I know that I'm dreaming but I don't care, being happy and in love is everything I ever wanted and Christian has given me that. I hear him snoring lightly next to me and I can't help but giggle gently as I move closer to him and fall into a deeper sleep dreaming of everything good in life.

"MOMMA!" I sit up in bed and hold my chest as I am startled awake, I look to the clock and it's 3.00am. I look over and Christian is out to it and his legs are wrapped around mine. "MOMMA!" my little girl is crying and screaming out for me. Oh baby girl Momma's coming. After I unwrap myself from Christian I get up and pull on my Eggplant iCollection Luxurious Satin Robe and turn the monitor down a bit before walking down the hallway to Katarina's room.

"Shh baby girl Momma's here…" I walk to her bed and she is sitting up holding her teddy crying her eyes out. I sit down on her bed and pull her into my lap.

"Did you have a nightmare?" she nods her head as she wraps her arms around my neck and I rock her. She's been getting them a lot lately and I'm not entirely sure why but I think this one is because I wasn't hear the other night.

"Was it about monsters?" I ask as I rub her back and try and soothe her.

"N…No…i…it was…a...about…y…you…" she did that cry whimper cough talk, it's cute but upsetting at the same time and I just want to hold her tighter to me but I can't because I'll hurt her and she's already scared as it is.

"Momma's here baby…I'm not going anywhere….shh…you're okay baby girl…" I whisper to her as I kiss her head and stand up holding her to me. I walk to her bedroom doors that open out onto the deck and I unlock the deadbolt on the top of the door and walk outside, thankfully it's not raining so she won't get cold but all the same I pull her blanket around her as I sit down on the edge of the rocking chair swing that Christian put in when Phoebe was little and I start to swing Rina, there are 6 of the swings around the top deck as we thought they would be a great addition and allow the children, our guests and Christian and I an escape from the house if they wanted to use them. Her cries turned to whimpers as I feel her settling down I start to sing one of the songs that Christian use to sing to her when she was in my stomach still.

_"Your little hand's wrapped around my finger_

_And it's so quiet in the world tonight_

_Your little eyelids flutter cause you're dreaming_

_So I tuck you in, turn on your favourite night light_

_To you everything's funny, you got nothing to regret_

_I'd give all I have, honey_

_If you could stay like that_

_Oh darling, don't you ever grow up_

_Don't you ever grow up, just stay this little_

_Oh darling, don't you ever grow up_

_Don't you ever grow up, it could stay this simple_

_I won't let nobody hurt you, won't let no one break your heart_

_And no one will desert you_

_Just try to never grow up, never grow up…."_

This song has always calmed her down when she's upset and I think it's because it's the first song she ever heard and I have to admit it makes me sad when I think about the meaning behind the lyrics, it says everything that we never want to happen, they seem to grow up so fast it's like everything is on fast forward. I know that it's not that fast but at times you just wonder where the time has gone, she'll be four soon enough and will start going to visits before she starts school and then the house will be empty and I won't be taking her to work and it's just going to feel weird, it was the same when Phoebe got older and there was a major gap between Phoebe and Katarina but I think that it was the right thing for both Christian and I as the complications we had with Teddie and then with having Phoebe so soon after the timing just seemed so perfect for Katarina to arrive and we were prepared for complications and everything as I wasn't sure how or if I would make it through the pregnancy with her because I got unwell halfway through and it was scary for me but it must have been ten times worse for Christian not being able to do anything to help me.

I don't like to think about it because it upsets me and I don't want to think about her not being in our lives. I could never have imagined that I would be this over protective of my children but I am and I can understand why Grace has always been so over protective of Christian and how was so hurt when she found out what was happening, the moment Teddie was born I automatically felt myself go into the mode and I have never left, not once, the second he was born and I knew he was okay that maternal instinct kicked in.

I look down at her and after half an hour she has fallen back asleep and seems to be having a good dream. I lay her down on the chair next to me and I sit back on the seat pulling her up next to me and looking out at the ocean and running my fingers through her hair. I keep humming the song in my head as I look from the ocean to her and then back again. I have to say that this time is one of those times where I can't get back to sleep. I know that I freaked her out by not coming home and I will never do that again unless I can't for health reasons, because I never want to cause anyone I love so much pain like I have done. Today will be a better day I know it will be and I will not give up on making sure that we all stay together.

**A/N: **

**Katarina's Song: Never Grow Up by Taylor Swift. **

**Sorry this chapter has taken so long, I'm not well at all and was hospitalised with Glandular Fever so concentrating and writing has been hard but I promise I will try and update more often. I hope that it all makes sense and there are pictures up on Pinterest and you can add me on facebook as well, that information is in the previous Chapters and can be used to access the pages. **

**Please let review and feel free to add me on Facebook where I will do chapter teasers and things, I apologise for not doing one for this chapter but as I said I have not been well and I am still not 100% and won't be for another few weeks so please don't be too hard on me. **

**Much Love, **

**Xoxo Aby **


	8. Chapter 8: Leaving The Past Behind

**A/N: Sorry this update has taken longer than I thought, have been busy with work and also sleeping a lot from my glandular fever but I promise that it will have been worth it. Thanks for all the amazing people who are following me and also sending in their reviews. I appreciate it so much. **

**The days in this story and the dates are not done with an actual calendar but it is how I would like the story to be so please just read it as it's written. **

**Much Love, **

**Xxx Aby **

**~oooOooo~**

_**Sunday 5**__**th**__** 2029**_

**Christians POV: **

"_Momma, Momma, wake up!" I can hear that voice and I know that it's not mine yet I've been in this situation before same building, same smell, same feelings but I'm not the child in this dream. I've had this dream more times than I care to remember and now it's completely turned and I'm looking down on the situation. "Momma please I'm sorry, I'll be better…" Oh don't cry baby. _

_I look down and I'm in a police uniform and I know that something is incredibly wrong with this. As I walk closer and look down my worst fear comes to light and my heart stops beating, it's not my crack whore mother lying on the floor…it's my beautiful caring amazing wife and our daughter Katarina is the one trying to get her to wake up. _

_I lean down and pick Katarina up in my arms and she starts screaming, I only realise that she doesn't know me…to her in this I'm just a stranger. "Calm down sweetie….Momma is going to wake up…we're going to take you to somewhere you can be safe…" She looks so thin and frail; she looks exactly like I did. When I turn around I feel like I'm going to fall over she's wriggling in my arms screaming out to Ana and I walk outside and someone takes her out of my arms and that's when it happens. The second she's gone from my arms I fall and I everything goes black, there's no sounds, no lights it's just black_

I wake up covered and sweat and can feel tears falling down my face as I sit up and try to control my breathing, how in the hell is that in nearly 10 years that's the first nightmare I've had and I run my hands through my hair looking over to the clock, it's 6 o'clock in the morning and Ana is gone from my bed. So that explains the nightmare but not why she's not in bed. I look at the baby monitor and see that the balcony doors to Katarina's room are open and she's not in her bed. I jump up and run down the hall to her room. I have to say that being a parent has it's downsides, you're always worried about if their safe, that they're happy and you just want to be with them twenty four hours a day 7 days a week but you know you can't.

I look around her room and she's not there and I go out onto the deck and that's when I see them, 2 of my three girls snuggled up on the chair and the wind has picked up. I see that Ana is in nothing more than her robe and she has goosebumps on her legs, I pick up the blanket that sits on the chest at the end of her bed and take it out placing it over them kissing both their heads. It's moments like these that I feel the most relaxed, being at home with my family, and after today I'm off for a week at least over to Tokyo with Ros and Gwen, the only thing that makes it easier is that I can Skype them and ring if necessary.

I walk back inside and look around her room, I have to admit it still looks to grown up for her but I love it, Ana and Phoebe did an amazing job, of course when she gets older she'll be allowed to decorate it how she likes just like Teddie and Poppy are allowed, I just wish I could slow down the time, I don't want her to get old too quickly. I still miss the days that we use to have with both Teddie and Phoebe, they had each other and we're always trying to get up to mischief. Katarina has Lucas and Pascal but she's not with them all the time and I'm worried that she's lonely at times, not that she would let you know. She gets that from Ana and I know how close they are, I love that we are both so close to our children and it makes me think about when I was a teenager, I think if I had been raised like my children, I wouldn't have started fights or anything that could get me into trouble because I would have been happy to spend time with them.

I walk back to my bedroom and get changed into my swim trunks, I figure if everyone is still asleep I might as well head to the gym and hit the pool for an hour or two and I would workout but I normal do that with Jason and I don't want to take him away from Jackson and Gail today as we head off tomorrow morning. I turn the sensors off around the gym in case someone comes looking for me and I start to do laps. I feel free in the water and I love being in here with Ana and the children, I think maybe we'll do that this afternoon. It would be great to be able to take them with me this time to Tokyo but I'm going to be so busy it's not worth it because I would never see them anyway.

Hopefully today will pull us all back together again because it was hell last night to hear the children ask if we were getting a divorce, that tore my heart out and then when Ana thought more about it…I just couldn't handle that and if that nightmare that I had has anything to go by, I definitely wouldn't handle not having her around. I need to stop thinking about this. I can't even begin to go through everything that would happen not only to me but to them as well.

**~oooOooo~**

**Phoebes POV: **

I wake up at 7:30am when my alarm goes off and I stretch in my bed before getting up. I climb out of bed and look out my windows and it's a beautiful morning. I have to say living by the water has its advantages, it creates incredible views to look at and I could so get use to drawing something like this, well I would if I had any drawing skills whatsoever. I look around I see the lights in the gym on so that means that Dad is definitely up, which isn't surprising, he's like a fitness freak, I have to admit that I don't mind because he is always willing to help us out when we want to use the gym.

I'm more relaxed now that both Dad and Mom have told me that they are not getting a divorce , I was so worried, I've seen what it does to children, some of the children at school have gone through it and it can takes months to get a good outcome, if there ever is one. I couldn't handle that and I don't want to have to choose between them, when we were born they promised that we would always be together and thankfully they were being honest, well for now at least. I may only be 14 years old but I'm bright for my age and very much like my mother, granted it annoys Daddy at times but I find it funny and I think Mom does too.

I walk back inside and head to my bathroom and have a shower before getting dressed into Burberry Charcoal Milano Trench Dress with my Navy Burberry Double Breasted Jacket with Nova collar and my Ash Kids Brown Leather High Tops with Buckles. I know that they probably don't go together but to be honest it's how I like it to be and it's how I'm going to dress, the one good thing is that I don't have to wear expensive clothes if I don't want to, it's when I get to feel normal wearing clothes from places like Kohl's and Target. I do own designer clothes but I mainly only wear them to special occasions.

As I walk down the hall I see Katarina going into her bathroom and the balcony doors open. I walk through and see Mom with her legs pulled up to her chest and a blanket over her. It's odd she's normally dressed before leaving her room. "Morning Mom, Did you sleep out here?" My mind automatically starts to tell me that they are still having problems and I think from the look on my face she knows exactly what I'm thinking. "Oh no baby girl, Rina woke up at 3 screaming for me and so I brought her out here to calm her down and I guess I feel asleep with her, but it looks like your Dad's been by…" she murmurs smiling as she lifts up the blanket. Oh right I think I remember being up going to the bathroom hearing her but I never really thought much of it.

"You look beautiful Pops…" she murmured as she lay back looking out at the water. I decided to join her on the swing, I'm so glad that they got these, they are great for when I want to do my homework outside and it's a great day. "Thanks Mom, so do you know what Dad has planned for today?" I ask as I move closer to her pulling the blanket over me cuddling into her. I love moments like these, my family means everything to me that's why I was so upset about the fact that they were fighting. I'm glad that Avalon decided not to come over last night; it meant that I could be honest about my fears.

"I wouldn't have a clue baby girl, you know what your father's like, he makes plans like ten minutes before he wants to be somewhere…" she said as she hugged me close as Katarina came back out and I leaned down picking her up putting her between us. "Hey Mom, while Dad's away do you think he would mind if we go to New York and see a show? I think either The Lion King or Matilda is playing at the moment…" we've been going to see shows every now and then and I thought it might be nice if we could go but I don't want Daddy to be mad that he missed it. I see her thinking about it and I'm waiting for a no because I know how much he likes to go with us.

"Well I don't know sweetie, maybe we could go there for our girls day and go to see the show…" she looks at me and smiles gently and then looks down at Katarina. "Would you like that Sweetie? To go see a show with your sister and your Mommy" Rina looks up at us and then smiles as she nods her head, I can tell she is still half asleep as I pull her close.

"**What's this? Is this a closed party or can anyone join in?" **I get a fright as I hear him and I turn around. "Oh Teddie, I don't know, I don't think you're cool enough to join us…is he Rina?" I say giggling as she shakes her head laughing turning into herself as she covers her mouth laughing. Teddie just rolls his eyes and comes to sit down with us by Mom.

"**So have you and Dad sorted things out or can we expect you to be fighting today?" **Great Teddie just when we were having a good time you have to ask her that question. "Actually your Dad and I sorted it out last night after we talked to you both, we didn't realise how much us fighting had affected you and we want you to know that we don't ever plan on being divorced**. **But I do want you to know that we will have disagreements that may not be over quickly but it doesn't mean that things are not going well with us…we just get different opinions on certain things…" she murmured as she looked at both of us as she held Katarina close to her playing with her hands. I can tell from the look on her face that it hurts her talking about this.

"…But if you ever have questions that you want to ask us or anything you want to say you know that you can always talk to us…it's what we've told you since you've been able to talk and it's still true…We love all of you so much and we want you to be able to confide in us…" she added as she reached her hands out touching both our cheeks.

I feel myself start to tear up and she smiles gently pulling me closer kissing my head. "Don't cry Phoebe…we're okay I promise you…" she murmured as she looked to Teddie. "Why don't you and Rina head downstairs with Poppy and see if anyone is around, while I get changed and then we can start making breakfast…" she said as she kissed Katarina rubbing her nose against hers. **"Sure Mom…Maybe we could start without you and then you can help us finish…" **he said as he stood up and Rina pushed out of Mom's arms walking over to him. "Carry me Eddie…" I smile every time she says that. It's so cute and makes me smile. "I love you Mommy…" I tell her as I kiss her cheek before following my brother and sister off the balcony and through her room heading downstairs to the kitchen.

As we reach the kitchen I smile. "Maybe we could make them breakfast…maybe pancakes and bacon, omelettes and that…I mean Dad's going away for a week and it would be nice for them after all the fighting that they've been doing…." I walk to the fridge and start pulling things out as Teddie starts talking. **"That sounds like a great idea Ebe…" **he chuckles as I see him pull a chair over to the counter and stand Rina on it. **"Do you want to help us Diamond?" **I finish pulling everything out of the fridge in time to see her smile and nod. I guess she's having one of those days where she doesn't feel like talking. I grab a bowl and spoon out and placed them in front of her as we start to make pancake batter and Teddie starts on the omelettes and Bacon. It's an odd day in the Grey household when you see us in the kitchen instead of Gail but I have to admit, her cooking is to die for and I love it when she makes us dinner but at the same time it's nice to spend time like this with each other.

**~oooOooo~**

**Ana's POV: **

Well that was one way to start a morning, I got woken up by my little Diamond wanting to go to the bathroom and she couldn't get down. Then my daughter came in and thought that Christian and I were still fighting because I was asleep out on the balcony. That conversation seemed to settle her down a bit and she asked about going to see a show; that seemed like the perfect excuse to have a girl's day or overnight trip to New York, it would be perfect. Then there's Teddie, my little boy who is so much like his father but I think he's picking up on his Uncle's humour, which I think is a good thing. I play the conversation back through my head and I start crying as I stand in the shower letting the water run over me trying to clean away the past and start over today.

"**So have you and Dad sorted things out or can we expect you to be fighting today?" **oh my poor boy, I looked at both their faces and I could have broken down then, at least Rina is still too young to understand otherwise I probably would have cried. Telling them that Christian and I sorted things out and that we didn't realise how bad it had become had lifted a weight in some way of both my shoulders and I think theirs as well. We're not perfect and I don't ever want to be because then something is definitely wrong in our marriage. Pulling Katarina onto my lap allowed me the chance to have her close because while she may not understand but I think it may have affected her as well. She had been clingy to both of us and I think it's because she could feel what was happening.

We've always wanted our children to feel comfortable confiding in us about anything we always want an open line of communication when it comes to our children because I think it's what went wrong between my Mom and I and I think Christian feels like because of how he acted he feels responsible for the relationships he has with his. Being _the Grey Family_ you have to be able to communicate because we have so much things that get out on the news and in papers and it just gets crazy sometimes.

Seeing Phoebe start to cry after saying what I did I think it finally hit me just how much this had affected her, Teddie isn't so open with his emotions and I'm pretty sure he inherited that trait from Christian but I know from last night just how much he wished he could fix things between me and his father. Then when they offered to start breakfast I knew that we had pulled back together as a family and that's what I want for them, a stable family environment that they can be safe and open and not have to worry about anything except growing up and school.

I love how close our children are and it makes me jealous in some ways that I was an only child. I think I would be a different person if I had had a sibling or two to go through things with but then at the same time I don't want to change anything about my life. I have no regrets and I could never even think about what I would do if my life were to change. I turn the shower off and climb out as I grab my towel and head to our wardrobe to get dressed. It's amazing how many clothes I have and yet I always feel like I have nothing to wear. Granted that most of the clothes in here were brought from Neiman Marcus by Caroline Acton thanks to Christian, I still feel like chucking on my jeans, t shirt and jacket and just looking normal, except for the fact that I know I will get tired of wearing them and want to change. I have no clue what Christian has planned so I guess I should wear something that is versatile.

I decide on wearing my Light Blue Oscar De La Renta Full Skirt Aqua Drop Waist Dress with my dark blue Princesse Tam Tam Underwear set with my black Panama Smoke Suede and Patent Wedge Sneakers. Okay so maybe not that versatile but I think it looks cute and maybe even a little sexy which might not be a bad thing after everything that's happened. I decide to pull my hair to the side and braid it as I know that Christian likes that look on me. As I make my way downstairs it smells incredible Bacon, pancakes…they must be working so hard on breakfast. "It smells amazing in here…you've been busy…" she murmured gently as she walked over to the bench.

"We co…oking Momma..." Oh my little girl is trying so hard to say bigger words; her little face falls when she can't get it out and it breaks my heart. "I can see that honey…what are you cooking?" I already know but it's good when she can tell us. "Pancakes…with Oppy…" Both Phoebe and I laugh as I lift her into my arms hugging her kissing her head.

I look at Teddie and he's smiling as he plates up some omelettes and bacon. I have to admit that I couldn't have asked for better children, they are amazing and I would do anything for them and would protect them. I have to admit, I'm kinda worried about where Christian has disappeared off to. I know that he's up because he covered me with a blanket…he normally does when I fall asleep somewhere, if he doesn't decide to carry me up to bed.

"Hey should we go get you dressed and then come back down? Maybe Daddy with have shown up by then…" I murmur to Katarina as I spin around with her and she giggles. "Yes Momma…" she said as she snuggled into me. I hold her close to me as we head back upstairs to her room. "Do you want to pick up your clothes or do you Mommy too?" I ask as I set her down on her feet and she runs off. I'm taking that as she wants to get her own clothes.

I sat on her bed as she was in her wardrobe going through her clothes I can her going "No…No…No…" she murmured and I couldn't help but smile because I still do that when I'm choosing my clothes. "Momma!..." she came running out to me with a dress that Christian brought her back from Shanghai last year for her birthday, thankfully she hasn't grown much since then so it still fits her. It's a long sleeve denim dress with brown lace underneath the buttons from the middle up, with a belt that goes around the middle and she looks so adorable in it. I remember her not wanting to take it off. Every day for a week straight she wore it and he got so angry because he didn't think it was hygienic for her but of course every time he tried to get her to take it off she would cry and then he would feel bad and cuddle her until she fell asleep.

Getting her dressed is so easy because she stands there and looks at me like she's trying to figure out what I'm thinking, much like Christian does when he stares at me. After putting her dress on and getting out some underwear for her and putting them on she runs over to her shoe rack and stands with her hands on her hips and I can't help but chuckle. "Oh my precious Diamond, Momma's gonna have trouble with you when you're older…" I walk over and bend down next to her. "So which ones will it be honey?" I ask as I see her looking at all her shoes, yes our little girl probably has more shoes than I do but she grows out of them so fast it's hard to only keep her in a few pairs. She looks at me and smiles before leaning down and picking up her Old Soles Cream and Black Leather Ballerina Shoes and sat down sliding them on.

She stands up and goes over to her mirror and then looks at me. "I pretty Mommy…" I sigh and walk over to her. "Of course you are baby…" I pick her up and head back out to head downstairs and I'm stopped in my tracks as I hear Teddie and Phoebe singing. I've missed that sound, normally they are in the music room that Christian had done when they became so into the piano and Teddie started learning the guitar. They are amazing together and also when they sing by themselves.

"_Don't you wanna stay here a little while?_

_Don't you wanna hold each other tight?_

_Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight?_

_Don't you wanna stay here a little while?_

_We can make forever feel this way_

_Don't you wanna stay?_

_Let's take it slow, I don't wanna move too fast_

_I don't wanna just make love, I wanna make love last_

_When you're on this high, it's a sad goodbye…"_

As I reach the bottom of the steps I set Katarina down and lean against the wall watching them as they're still cooking looking at each other every now and then and I just stare at them. They are in so many ways like their father and that just melts my heart because I was worried they would be more like me and I didn't want that. They will have a bright future and will want for nothing and that's all because of Christian and how hard he works to make sure we have everything we need. I lean my head against the wall closing my eyes as I continue to listen and I zone out only hearing them.

**~oooOooo~**

**Christian's POV: **

I climb out of the pool after doing 100 laps and head into the locker room and grab my towel and the change of clothes that I always have in here after I've finished and I pull dry myself off changing into my Rag and Bone Grey Beach Shorts and my Patch Cotton Long Sleeve T-Shirt with my Portman Bronze Metallic Brush Off Leather Sneakers, I look up at the clock on the wall and it's nearly 8:30, I've been out here for over an hour and everyone is probably already up by now.

After making a phone call to Jason about who was avaliable today I chuck my towel in the basket and run back towards the house after switching the sensors back on again. I slow to a walk as I get closer to the house and I smile as I walk in the door. I can hear the sound of both Phoebe and Theodore singing and it brings the biggest smile to my face.

"_That it feels so perfect, baby…"_

I remember when Teddie was about ten and we were at a concert for his school. The moment he saw one of his classmates playing the guitar his face just lit up and for a week he was walking around like he was playing an air guitar. I didn't take much to get out of him that he wanted to take lessons and it was just a matter of finding a place that he felt comfortable in, he was comfortable at The Music Factory, it wasn't long after he started going there that Phoebe asked about taking singing lessons, she was eight and always singing and humming around the house so it wasn't a surprise.

"_Don't you wanna stay here a little while?_

_Don't you wanna stay here a little while?..."_

They have two performances a year, a mid-year performance where they do solos and group numbers and then an end of year performance where they compose their own songs, either on their own, or with others in their classes and it is amazing, they go all out and it's amazing to see all the different students play. They both take private and Group lessons, both take voice, while Teddie takes Guitar and Phoebe takes Piano.

"_Don't you wanna hold each other tight?_

_Don't you wanna fall asleep with me tonight?..."_

I slowly walk through the house and I can see Ana leaning against the wall staring into the kitchen and I can hear them loud and clear now.

"_Don't you wanna stay here a little while?_

_We can make forever feel this way_

_Don't you wanna stay?_

_Don't you wanna stay…_

_Yeah, _

_Yeah, _

_Yeah, _

_Yeah, _

_Yeah, _

_Yeah…" _

I wrap my arms around Ana's waist and she jumps placing her hand over her heart. "Geez baby you scared me…" she whispered as she turned around in my arms. She smiles at me and I lean down kissing her lips. She starts giggling and I raise my eyebrow at her. "You smell like chlorine…" I roll my eyes at her and she smacks my arm playfully. "You know where that will get you Mr Grey…" she whispered before looking down as Katarina had run over to us. I release her and bend down in front of my little girl. "Good morning beautiful, did you have a good sleep?" I asked her as she leaned forward wrapping her arms around my neck and I pick her up as she shakes her head burying her face in my neck. I look to Ana and she looks upset and guilty and it has me worried.

I figure that I'll ask her later. "Morning Daddy…" I look at Phoebe and she has a massive smile on her face and I walk into the kitchen and then look at the dining table. **"What's all this?"** I ask as I walk over and place Rina in her seat. **"Well Mom was going to make breakfast but Phoebe and I decided that we wanted to cook breakfast…firstly because of the fact that you're going away tomorrow and we know that Gail will cook for all of us like she normally does but also because we're glad that you and Mom aren't fighting anymore…" **I swear that these aren't my children sometimes; they are so polite and honest that it freaks me out at times. I walk over and hug both of them as I kiss their heads.

"**Well maybe we should eat before it all gets cold then huh?" **I say and they nod smiling. We all sit down to eat and when we're finished Teddie excuses himself to get dressed while Ana and I clean up the dishes, it seems only fair considering they cooked. Phoebe and Katarina ran off to the playroom and it gives me the chance to talk to Ana.

"**Why did Katarina shake her head when I asked if she had a good sleep?" **She stops loading the dishwasher and she sighed as she leaned back against the bench as she ran her hand over her face. "She had a nightmare about me…I guess I must have left or something…" I can imagine what she was dreaming about. I look at her and she has tears in her eyes. **"Oh baby…it's okay…she probably was just scared from seeing you in the bed at the hospital…" **I pull her to me hugging her close and kissing her head as she hugs me back and I move my hands and place them on her cheeks lifting her face to mine. **"I love you so much Anastasia Grey…" **I whisper as I lean down and kiss her. She kisses me back and smiles gently "I love you too Christian Grey." She goes back to loading the dishwasher and closes it turning it on before looking at me as I wipe down the bench top.

"I'm sorry that I wasn't in bed when you woke up this morning…" she said as she placed her arms around my waist. I looked over my shoulder at her and smiled. **"It's okay…I figured that you were still in the house somewhere…but I will ask, Why didn't you take a blanket out with you? You're lucky it didn't start to rain baby…" **I turn in her arms and look at her. "Well I was more worried about getting her back to sleep than me…" She is so sweet and it just makes me love her more. **"You have a heart of love baby and I have to tell you that I couldn't love you any less if you didn't have a heart of gold…" **I smirk at her and she just smirks back. "So…what about you, Did you have any nightmares?" she asked as she ran her hands up my side.

I should have seen that coming but I forget that I've told her that when she's not in the bed with me I have nightmares. **"I did…but it's okay it's always the same one…well this one was different but it was the same situation…" **I see her frown and I kiss her forehead. "I'm sorry baby…I know how upset you get when you have that dream…" she hugs me and I can't help but bury my face in her hair. She has always felt my sadness, fear, happiness more than I have taken notice of since we started going out and I know I hurt her a lot in the first few months we were together but she stayed and I'm glad that she did.

"**Come on let's get the girls and Teddie and head out before we lose too much of the day…" **as we walk out into the entrance way just as Teddie came down the stairs. "And this is why I have such a hard time looking at you and then at your father…because you always look so much like him when you dress like that…" I smile because she is so right…he looks like I did when I was his age and it's kinda creepy but I feel so proud to call him my son. Teddie was standing at the bottom of the stairs in light grey jeans with a brown leather belt with his navy jumper that buttons at the neck and a check scarf with his Dolce and Gabbana Brown Suede and Leather Trainers. I have to admit though, he dresses better than I did in some ways because I never really started paying attention to what I wore until I started GEH and then it was all I thought about when I wanted something new to wear, it had to presentable and look good.

"**Well shall we head out now? Is everybody ready?" **I ask as I open the door and Katarina comes running from the family room and she tries to get out the door but I grab her and swing her around. **"Oh no little Monkey not on your own you don't…" **I say as I tickle her and she giggles. "D…Daddy S…Stop…" she pleads through her giggles and Ana comes over "Baby who's going to be with us today if Jason is with Gail and Jackson?" I look at her and smile**. "Well Luke has offered to accompany is today in the Audi while we take my wagon…and Kristen will accompany him and Connor and John will be on standby if we need them…"** It's a Silver Mercedes G Wagon that I brought not long after we had Katarina as it has a bit more room in it and we could all fit along with her pushchair and still have room to place boxes and bags depending on what we were doing.

She smiled at me and nodded as she took Katarina from me and took her out to the car that Luke and Kristen had just brought round. I look to Teddie and Poppy and they both look so grown up. **"I forgot…Thank you for breakfast…it was delicious…you really are amazing children…" **I say to them as they walk past me. "You're welcome Daddy, you raised us right…" she said giggling as she ran out the door followed by Teddie and I closed the door after setting the alarm and headed out behind them.

I'm really looking forward to spending some quality time with my family. I'm thankful that Ros offered to run GEH today so that I could spend time with them before we go. Because Gwen is going with us she can understand why I want to be with them, if it was the other way round I would give her the day off, being away from the ones you love teas at you in more ways than you ever thought possible. It's not so bad if you don't have children, well I don't think it would be because there is only one person you are missing. After everyone was buckled in and ready we headed out of the gate and into the city. I held Ana's hand as I drove, she and I both playing with each other's fingers and it moments like these that I remember when I'm away, the intimate moments we share and how much I wish she was with me.

"**So dad what are we doing today?" **Ah yip that question is the one I was waiting for. Both Theodore and Phoebe seem to have inherited Ana's disapproval for surprises although Ana is not as bad as she use to be. She smiled shaking her head as she looked from me out the window and I couldn't help but smirk. **"Well I thought we would go to the aquarium so that Diamond could have a look at the fish, because I know how much she loves them, then I thought about having lunch at the Space Needle, possibly visit the Woodland Park Zoo, maybe even the Golden Gardens…"** I can see their faces in the mirror and the have smiles on their faces, as much as they don't want to admit it they still love visiting the animals and seeing the views, I think that comes from all the travelling we've done since before they were born, we'll in Phoebe and Katarina's case anyway.

I pull into the parking lot of the Seattle Aquarium and Rina starts clapping and saying "Fishes…Fishes…Fishes…" these are the moments that are worth it, to see them smiling and carefree just being children without all the stress that Ana and I have been having lately. We spend about an hour and half there just walking around and talking about the different fish, and even saw them feeding the Marine mammals and Rina couldn't take her eyes of the seals, thankfully today it's not busy so we get around without too much trouble. We finish at the Aquarium at about 12pm and I think they children are getting a bit hungry and Katarina is getting grumpy, which normally means she's either hungry or ready for a nap.

I send Luke and Kristen ahead of us as we make our way to the Space Needle and let them sort out if we need John or Luke as it can be quite busy especially in the SkyCity Restaurant at the top. When we arrive Luke feels confident enough to just have him and Kristen with us but he's put John and Connor on standby just in case things change. Ana took Rina to the bathroom after about half an hour of looking out the windows over the city we've called home for a long time now. It still amazes me standing here looking out that I know so many places and yet never truly appreciate the beauty of it. I think part of that comes from when I'm flying over Seattle I'm normally either in my jet or in Charlie Tango. It's a great place to bring Katarina as she points to different things and we ask her what she's looking at and she'll try and tell us but sometimes she gets her words mixed up and it frustrates her.

It's about one of the only places I don't mind eating around other people because the view is amazing, I personally prefer it at night time as the lights make it seem so magical, I use to come up here before I met Ana to clear my head when I didn't feel like working out. We sat down to eat at 1 o'clock and it's a brunch menu today as it's a Sunday but the food is still delicious and it's more to the children's taste as they order Wild Mountain Huckleberry Pancakes. Ana orders Hot Cakes for Diamond and she orders Grilled Jidori Chicken for herself while I get the Hazelnut Crusted French Toast. Not my normal choice but I had omelettes for breakfast so I didn't want one for lunch as well.

After Teddie and Poppy finish they smile and stand up. "Can we go look out at the city while you finish?" Poppy asks and I look up at her. **"Sure Sweetie just keep an eye on Kristen, make sure she is close by okay?, it's starting to get a bit busy…" ** I love how they don't always want to be with us but it's hard when they want to be separate in a place like this because we can't always see them. That's where I'm grateful for the security team that Jason hired.

I watch Ana and Katarina as they talk about the food and Rina giggles. It's amazing how much I've come to appreciate the fact that they are so close. I wish I was as close to all my children as she is but I can understand with all the travelling how it makes it difficult, which is why I try to get them to come with me as much as possible but it can take a toll on their schooling.

"Daddy?" I'm pulled back to reality by my little Diamond. **"Yes monkey?" **I ask leaning forward to her. "Can we go to park?" I look at Ana and she's smirking at me. **"Well I don't know…Do you think you've been good enough?" **I ask her and she places her hand on her face thinking about it looking up at the ceiling and then back at me. "Y…Yes…" she said looking from me to Ana and back again. "Christian don't be mean. I'm sure Daddy won't mind taking you to the park honey…" she picks her up and places her on her lap running her nose against hers. She starts jumping up and down in Ana's lap and I stand up and move to sit next to them. **"Of course we can go to the park honey…"**I kiss her cheek and then pulled her to me. "Let's get Teddie and Poppy and get going…it's starting to get crowded…" Ana stands and pulls her jacket back on and I take her hand holding Rina close. I nod to Luke who gets Kristen's attention and we all make our way back down to the car.

I take them to Magnuson Park and allow her to play on the playground while I watch her with Luke while the others take a walk around the park, we don't come here very often so when we do Phoebe likes to look at the Butterfly enclosure. "Push Daddy..." she says as I walk over to the swings. **"I'm sure I can manage that…" **I help her into the swing and sat to push her slowly as I know she gets scared sometimes when she gets too high. After about 20 minutes Ana makes her way back to us and I smile at her gently. **"Where are they others honey?" **I ask gently, I'm a little worried that she walked back to us on her own. "They had to use the facilities and I was starting to miss you so I thought I would come back to you…" I can't help but feel my heart skip a beat when she says something like that to me. **"I missed you too baby…always…" **I place my arm around her waist as I continue to push Katarina on the swing and that spark still goes through my body and I'm so glad that we haven't lost that.

"Daddy…Stop…" She squeals and I know she's gone to high so I grab the swing gently to stop her. "You're okay baby girl…" Ana says as she kisses her head. "Do you wanna go to the zoo?" Ana asks her and I smile, I was thinking about taking her there, I'm sure that at some point she's going to ask us to get a pet and I wouldn't be surprised if she wanted a dog. Luke looks at me and he's shaking his head smiling. I know exactly what he's thinking…that she is wrapped around my little finger and he would be absolutely right. My children have and always will be my first and foremost priority next to Ana, anything they need, want I will do it for them if they ask or even if they don't.

"**Why don't we join the others and then we can head off to the Woodland Park Zoo…" **I take Ana's hand and she holds Rina's as we walk to where Teddie, Poppy and Kristen are walking towards us before heading back to the car park. As we arrive at the Zoo I'm a little worried about the fact that there will be cameras here, the last thing I want before going away is to make the headlines and have rumours floating around that aren't true, that's the last thing I want for my family to have to deal with when I'm not here. **"I want you to stay close to either Luke or Kristen while we are here, it looks fairly busy and there will be people with cameras…I want you to stay safe do you understand me?"** I turn around and look mainly to Phoebe and Teddie because Katarina is clingy so I know that she'll be with either Ana or I. The main thing that I give them that is important to me is the opportunity to be independent, so as long as they stay close to security whether it's near us or further out I know that we can have communication with them and I can feel a little more at ease.

"We will Daddy, we know the rules…" Phoebe said to me as she kissed my cheek before getting out of the car. **"Don't worry Dad, I will look out for her…" **Teddie said smiling and I couldn't help but know that he was telling the truth. I was very much like him with Mia, anything that upset her upset me, when she was struggling I would be there to help as much as I could when I was around. I sigh trying to clear my head of the fear that is creeping around in there and I climb out joining Ana, Luke and Katarina at the entrance and take her hand pulling her close wrapping my arm around her waist as Rina walked in front of us with Luke walking in between us.

I don't normally like having her so far in front of us but it's nice to just be Ana and I as we watch her all excited going to the different enclosures, a number of times she asks Luke to lift her up so she can see better and he's smiling. I know that he won't admit but he's smitten with her, has been since the day she was born. I look around and see Phoebe and Teddie laughing with each other as they obviously talk about some animals that they're looking at and I can tell that Kristen is standing closer than normal to them, which I'm glad about.

"You know this was a great idea Christian…I think we all needed this…" I look down and stand behind her resting my chin on her head. **"I think we did too, I just wish we had done it sooner…" **I murmur to her as I hug her close to me. We stay back a bit as Luke keeps up with Katarina and I stop pulling her close to me holding her face in my hands. **"I promise that everything we have been through…even the last couple of days…is nothing compared to the amount of times that we have spent with our children, and just been happy…I will try harder to keep my temper in check and to keep our children in a routine that allows them to not have to worry…" **I look into her eyes and I can see the honesty and the fear there as well and it just kills me because I don't want to be the reason that her or the children pull away from me.

I lean down and kiss her gently and then slide my hands down her sides as I kiss her deeper, I feel her hands wrap round my neck and into my hair and it takes everything I have to not pull her closer and lift her up because I know we're in public and her dress is rather short…but I think she planned that in some way. I pull back and rest my forehead against hers and her breathing is just as ragged as mine. "It's not about that Christian…it's just about us being together, we will fight it's what marriage is…but it's how we resolve those fights that matters…" she breaths as she looks up at me through her long eye lashes and my heart just melts as I see love and lust in her eyes. I clear my throat and smile as I take her hand and we walk to catch up with our children who are all standing at the Elephant enclosure and I release Ana's hand putting my arms around both Teddie and Phoebe's shoulders as we watch them feeding the Elephant and Rina is now on Ana's hip pointing at the Elephant.

After walking around the rest of the Zoo, I decide that there's one more place that I want to take them. At 3 o'clock I pull out of the parking lot at Woodland Park Zoo and drive toward the Seattle Great Wheel, I know how much both Ana and Phoebe love Ferris Wheels, or anything close to them and Teddie just loves the views that he gets from them so I think it is the perfect way to finish this incredible day. Ana and I have patched things up, the children are singing and laughing again and I feel like we will be okay. Sure we may not always be like this but I love them and I would do anything for them and for moments like these.

**~oooOooo~**

**Gail's POV: **

A late sleep in today was just what I needed and I thank they Grey's for giving both Jason and I the day off, my boys made me breakfast in bed and he watched some cartoons with Jackson while I ate. It's going to be one hell of a week without him. Jackson is so hard to handle because he is such a Daddy's boy but I am hoping that it will be easier because he doesn't have to go to school but it will still be hard, I'm not as young as I use to be and I lose my patient's quite easily with him, he's just at that stage where everything I say is wrong and everything Jason says is right and it drives me to the point where I have to ask Ana to watch him because I just need a minute to not take it out on him.

"_So I thought maybe we would just laze around here today baby…I really don't want to go out anywhere…" _That is the best news I have heard in a few weeks, it's been hell, Ana and Christian fighting, Jason not knowing what to say around both of them and then he'd come home and I would be here and he wouldn't want to talk about it. I hope that those two have sorted everything out because they are amazing together and those children are so well mannered and behaved. Oh and I love it when they sing around the house, I miss that sound, Phoebe sounds like an Angel and Teddie sounds like he could be the next Michael Bu…Bubble or whatever his name is. I swear my mind is starting to give up on me and at times it's frustrating because I forget what I was supposed to be doing and then when I remember I've normally run out of time.

"That sounds perfect my honey…I would love to just stay in bed all day and have you here holding me, I'm going to miss you while you're away…" The truth is, I miss him anytime we're apart…it's been a hard road to get to where we are today…we were worried about how working for Christian would get in the way of the relationship we wanted but when Ana came into his life, he seemed to relax and open up a bit more, treated us more like friends than family and I think he referred to it as the Ana effect. I have to admit that I think that is exactly what it is.

He moved closer wrapping his arms around me kissing my head as we watched cartoons with Jackson, truth is, being a Mom is something I never thought would happen. I look at Ana and Christian and I remember watching Theodore grow up and then Phoebe and now little Katarina, those children meant more to me than anything, they were like my own in many ways, I was asked to babysit, I was trusted to watch them, take them with me if Ana and Christian went away and wanted time alone. I didn't mind, I never wanted anything more than to still be a part of their lives and I was worried that when they married I might have lost my job, but I think Ana had something to do with keeping me around and for that I will always be grateful.

Come lunch time I was tired of being in bed so I walked through to the kitchen and made chicken, ham and cheese toasties, my boys love them, I have no clue why but I make them and they enjoy them and that's all I want. Oh I was so ecstatic when I found out I was pregnant, the first person I told was Ana, I know it should have been Jason but I was worried about how he would react, we never really talked about having a family and I was worried that it might have been the wrong thing, I needed some advice and I know that Ana went through the same thing with Christian, granted her situation was more complicated and stressful than mine but I just didn't have anyone else to talk to.

So here we are 7 years later and my little boy is so much like his father, it truthfully scares me, I can understand what Ana means when she refers to Theodore and Christian being a like, the four of them in a room together and you wouldn't be able to tell the difference between them if they were the same age. "Daddy, can you bring me back something from your trip with Uncle Christian?" Jason looks at him and smiles and I just laugh and clean up the dishes as we finish lunch. I swear that he asks every time they travel on business that he wants something, of course Jason is wrapped around his little finger, truth be told I think he always wanted a boy of his own. Don't get me wrong Sophie has grown into an incredible young woman but there's something about the bond between a father and a son that is stronger, I never understood it.

"_Of course I can son, do you think that I would forget about you?" _Jason helps him down from the table and he runs off towards his bedroom. I finish loading the dishwasher and I feel arms around my waist and I smile. I look down placing my hands on top of his and I lean back against him. "I'm going to miss you…" I murmur as I turn my head to look at him. _"I know baby I'll miss you too…always…we're always a mess when we're away from you and the others…" _He looks sad and my heart just brakes. He loves his job more than I think he cares to admit, he would never say no to not protecting Christian, I think in many ways he sees him more of a brother than an employer at times and for that I'm glad. He doesn't see his daughter much and other than us he doesn't have any family…in many ways we are all one big family and we always have each other to lean on. Since having Jackson I imagine what Ana has gone through, 3 times over and I don't think I could do it again…the early feedings, the limited sleep, all the crying oh it just tore at my heart.

We stand at the sink for a long time just holding each other and looking out the window at the water. We have one of the best employers in the country, possibly the world, we get this view every day our own apartment place and we are so well looked after that it's hard to imagine what it would be like if we lost it all. I can't imagine not seeing all their smiling faces every day, not that I think about it much, the thoughts always end up rolling through my head near the time they are ready to leave and while they are gone that something bad is going to happen and that I'm going to end up being the widower who is now a single Mom who has lost everything and will be out on the street with no job and nowhere to go.

Turns out when Jackson went to his room he ended up falling asleep so Jason and I decided to go outside and sit on the dock near the water and just sat their staring out at the mass expansion of water. It doesn't take much for us to feel close when we're just sitting down, we don't have to say anything, just be holding each other. It's not very often that our lives are stress free but today, stress free is exactly what we needed.

Today has been one of the best days, sure I have had many but I think after the scare we had with Ana that this is what we needed to do, spend time with just us and let Ana and Christian spend time with their children, I've seen the looks on those children's faces the last couple of days and it's like they've been walking on eggshells afraid to say something in case Christian started to go off at them. But that is all in the past and tonight I am making dinner for all of us to share before the gentlemen go off on their trip tomorrow morning, that's going to be an early start for everyone. When they go away we always have dinner together and then breakfast the day they leave and afterwards we all go to the airport to see them off, then Ana and I make sure that the children are okay and head back here, of course when they have school we drop them off and Ana normally goes to work, I'm not sure if that's what she's doing tomorrow or not as I haven't spoken to her since the morning she was kidnapped.

My heart raced like crazy that day I tell you, my worst fear was that she wouldn't come back to us, I don't know how Christian would have handled losing her again, the night she left when they first got together, well let's just say that he was angry, then when the whole Jack Hyde thing happened he was so irate I was glad that he had his parents to keep him in line otherwise I think he would have gone off the deep end and poor Ana would have been left to raise their son on her own. I thank god every day for that fateful moment when Ana walked into his penthouse in Escala, without him realising he had just made the first steps down the path that I could already see before him.

At 6 o'clock I walked over to the Grey house and I turned off the alarm and went inside and started to prepare the roast chicken with all the trimmings that I picked up yesterday at the Market. Hopefully they will be home in time, I know how much Christian likes to stick to a routine and knowing him they will be home at 6:45pm, in time to have the children wash their hands and sit at the table just as I finish placing the last dish down and then it's all in and first in first served, thankfully I always seem to make enough for leftover sandwiches.

Sure enough the routine is definitely stuck to, the bell on the wall in the hallway dings to let people in the house know the gate is opening and I feel a weight lifted off my shoulders because any moment now I will be able to lay my eyes on the beautiful woman who has made such a difference in all our lives and know that she is doing well. First in the door is Phoebe followed by Theodore and then Katarina with Ana, she looks like she's had a busy day and they both look exhausted, I'm not surprised but poor Katarina has been so clingy, I think she's going through the phase where she just wants to be held.

Jason and Jackson arrive at 6:50 and Jackson is at the table while Jason organises the drinks for me as I am busy making sure that everything is in a dish ready to be placed on the table. When everyone is seated we start to dish up our own and it's all laughs and talking about the days we've had, turns out I was right, they've been all over Seattle today and Ana and Christian seem more in love than ever so I take that as a sign that they have worked through whatever was causing their tension and I am relieved because I would have been walking on eggshells around Ana worrying about her and how she was coping now that they weren't talking and he was in a different time zone and anything else you can think off.

After 2 hours of talking and eating, Katarina has fallen asleep on Ana's lap so she excuses herself to put her to bed and I realise that it's past Jackson's bedtime too, so I ask Jason to take him home while I clear the table and load the dishwasher. Christian of course offers to do it as I cooked, he certainly has become more domestic since being with her and I can't help but smile. I think though there is a hidden agenda in his request and it wouldn't surprise me.

"**Gail I know how much you hate us travelling and I promise that I will do my best to get us both back here in one piece?" **he looks at me like he's about to split in half. "Christian it's not that I hate it, it's just that I worry about you travelling, especially since the Charlie Tango incident and you were missing for a long time, I just don't know if I could handle wondering about Jason and well Ana…we've been there before but the story is entirely different now…" he sighs and nods his head, it took a year and half after they we're married before he started to let me call him Christian, and I think that's only because Ana was getting tired of hearing "Mr Grey" all the time. **"I know and I worry about that too, but I promise I do everything in my power to make sure that everything is up to standard and has my approval before we take off now and so does Jason…" **I stop him by turning the dishwasher on "Don't Christian I don't want to talk about this…" I look at him and he knows that it's upsetting me. **"I will see you tomorrow Gail, why don't you go on home and I'll finish up here…" **He doesn't have to ask me twice, I take my leave and head back out into the night and over to the house. I think tonight is going to be one of those nights where I just collapse in bed from doing pretty much nothing all day and for that I will be grateful to Christian.

Tomorrow will be a long day and it will be a struggle with Jackson, hopefully tomorrow won't come to soon, I don't want to have to say goodbye to Jason for a week just yet. I can't speak for us but I think those two are going to be doing anything but sleeping…

**~oooOooo~**

**A/N: So hopefully this chapter is okay, it's been hard to keep a track on it as I've been busy and also sleeping a lot and it's been difficult to write sometimes, writer's block is a B**** if you know what I mean. Hopefully the next chapter will be up soon, I am also writing another FanFiction about Twilight which you can find on my page, Photos will be uploaded to Pinterest.**

Much Love, 

**Xxx Aby **


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